How do you get an ambitious/career woman to see love and other things?

OP

Now come on as if a female is EVER going to want an apology for that.

I'm 31 in a few months. As I said above-you're probably thinking too structurally-relationships work on chemistry and attraction and two people wanting to be together.Hang out as friends see if you get any signals from her-but if you DEFINITELY want children you may be setting yourself up for heartache if she definitely doesn't.
Some women may not want them then meet Mr Right and change their minds, though.

Ha! It wouldn;t be heartache. The person comes first.

Reply 41

T_x

10

Original post by Anonymous

You are younger it's different. When your folks get old, and you see what you want, you see that lifes short, you start dreaming of love, and maybe a kid.
And it depends who you meet. As for changing the world, that is overly egotistical and unrealistic. So in that sense it is sort of cold, for it to take presidence over love.

Just because she's not into you, it doesn't mean she's a cold person with a heard-hearted attitude towards love.

Reply 42

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by T_x

Just because she's not into you, it doesn't mean she's a cold person with a heard-hearted attitude towards love.

We've already been through this. Read the thread properly before jumping to the end.

Reply 43

Eien

16

I don't think the two have to be mutually exclusive at all - I'd consider myself career oriented and I'm on the road to achieving my goals - but I also want a relationship, ideally where we are both working (or a house husband would also be fine!) Just like it's not the case that academically bright people don't have common sense, or that mathematical people can't be artistic.

For me, there is no such thing as physically 'no time' for love - if something means that much, one can make time. Currently I work and study normally from 9am to 9/10pm most days, and study most weekends, but I still find time for dating, because it's something I'm motivated to have in my life also. If somebody doesn't have the emotional 'time' or space for it, then that's another matter and I can understand why some people may make that choice. In that case, it's going to be tougher to get into a relationship with that type of person, but it's not uncommon for one person to come along into somebody's life where they didn't expect/want to fall in love, but did, so it can happen.

Reply 44

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by sugarmouse

Now come on as if a female is EVER going to want an apology for that.

I'm 31 in a few months. As I said above-you're probably thinking too structurally-relationships work on chemistry and attraction and two people wanting to be together.Hang out as friends see if you get any signals from her-but if you DEFINITELY want children you may be setting yourself up for heartache if she definitely doesn't.
Some women may not want them then meet Mr Right and change their minds, though.

Thanks, it's a nice message though.

Reply 45

T_x

10

Original post by Anonymous

We've already been through this. Read the thread properly before jumping to the end.

I have, but it still doesn't seem to be sinking in - for you, that is.

Reply 46

Anonymous #1

OP

Shows how much you know. Funny how some women are very eager to tell you how insignificant you are to a woman and rubbish your chances are, much more than any man. Drop your ego and stop pompously presuming you know what other women think just because you are one.

Reply 47

T_x

10

Original post by Anonymous

Shows how much you know. Funny how some women are very eager to tell you how insignificant you are to a woman and rubbish your chances are, much more than any man. Drop your ego and stop pompously presuming you know what other women think just because you are one.

I'm assuming you're addressing me, even though you didn't quote. You don't seem to understand that just because a woman isn't interested, it doesn't mean they think you're insignificant; just because I am advising you from my experience and the experience of other relationships and my friends, it doesn't mean that I have a big ego. Quite frankly, if you talk like this towards someone who doesn't share your opinion then I'm not surprised that she's not interested.

My main point is this: ambitious, career-orientated women see 'love and other things' as you have termed it. However, they have made a conscious decision to put that on hold. They will fall in love if and when they are ready, and don't need someone to decide for them that at age thirty or so they are approaching 'the age where it is right to settle down and have babies.' Personally hate it when men think they can change someone's world that the other person has worked hard to build.

EDIT: Oh, and before you tell me that I'm 'pompously presuming I know what other women think because I am one,' then change your title and change your original post. You're asking a question about a woman none of us know but you, talking about ambitious career-women who are 'cold.' You're generalising just as much as I am.