I hit her but I didn't mean to

I really need help.
My girlfriend and I have been together for three years ad are both second year uni students at the same uni. Lately, we've been arguing quite a lot over nearly everything. but when we're both feeling up to it, the relationship can be great.
Earlier on today, she was in a bad mood for some reason, and started bitching me out when I was in the middle of studying for second year uni exams. I normally either cuss her out too or ignore her, but today just wasn't really my day and I was too stressed to bother replying. She came into our room (we both share a house) and started to push me about a bit, shoving my hand so that the page I was writing on was ruined. Then, knowing that my dad's recently passed away, she told me that he died because he couldn't stand the thought of living with me as a son.
I lost it. I shoved her into a wall and punched her twice. I regretted it as soon as it happened, and started apologising, but she started crying and stormed off. This all happened earlier today and she still hasn't come back.

I know our relationship sounds awful, but our fights don't occur much, and when we're good, we can really be in love.
i know I love her, but I still feel hurt over what she's said; she definitely took It too far, but I wish there was a way to rewind everything. I'm panicking over what she just might be doing now, and I just want to apologise but she's not answering my calls or anything.
please. I need some advice on what to do now.

Reply 1

Cake Faced Kid.

15

I would normally be completely against this, but to be honest, it sounded like she deserved it.

Reply 2

monk_keys

16

yeah you're not in love.

Reply 3

Liftman

If you are willing to hit her, it's not love of any sort.

Reply 4

SnoochToTheBooch

17

I don't think this is real

Reply 5

Need help atm

OP

4

Original post by amineamine2

What she said was awful but you punched your girl twice? That's low, man.

I know it's low; I know I shouldn't have done it. But I genuinely felt so angry at the time.
it's no excuse, but it's how I felt.

Reply 6

OhNoes

5

Violence is of course never the correct course of action...that said there is a line you shouldn't cross, her saying something like that crosses that line completely. I think continuing to call and text her, waiting a bit in between each call would be a good idea. Trying to physically contact her with something like a letter might also help...just try not to seem aggressive, turning up banging on her front door might freak her out!

If you honestly love her then keep at it, you should be able to sort this out, or your lying about your feelings. Good luck!

Reply 7

Pedd

10

You two need to sit the heck down and talk about things. If not, break-off. Don't make any silly mistakes. You both need to sort yourselves out!

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 8

Kousar

12

Original post by Need help atm

I know it's low; I know I shouldn't have done it. But I genuinely felt so angry at the time.
it's no excuse, but it's how I felt.

With all respect, I'm not for abuse but I cannot believe what she said to you. How could she have the heart to say that about your Dad? Unless we're only getting one side of the story and you mouth away at her like she did to you. Otherwise, I don't know why she'd take it so far...

Reply 9

S1L3NTPR3Y

13

What kind of GF, jokes about someone's (particularly their BF) father hating their son in front of them, especially so soon after their death??

TBH I don't support physical violence but this is a special case.

Reply 10

HenryD

12

I don't blame you, she had it coming. It's funny to think how different the reaction would be on here if your genders were reversed, very hypocritical.

Reply 11

Willbean

11

She deserved it, should of gone for a hat-rick.

How could you go that low to use a family members death against you? Unfortunately, there will be repercussions about your actions. And besides, she initiated the violence so it is in your favour.

Now is not a good time to **** up, especially with your exams coming up. I don't see a way out but won't physical violence end up in being kicked out? Either way, I wish you good luck.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 12

caseyhayes

6

I don't know where I stand on this, but I don't see any way for you to resume a normal relationship after that, on both your parts.

Reply 13

allthetime

10

Original post by Need help atm

I really need help.
My girlfriend and I have been together for three years ad are both second year uni students at the same uni. Lately, we've been arguing quite a lot over nearly everything. but when we're both feeling up to it, the relationship can be great.
Earlier on today, she was in a bad mood for some reason, and started bitching me out when I was in the middle of studying for second year uni exams. I normally either cuss her out too or ignore her, but today just wasn't really my day and I was too stressed to bother replying. She came into our room (we both share a house) and started to push me about a bit, shoving my hand so that the page I was writing on was ruined. Then, knowing that my dad's recently passed away, she told me that he died because he couldn't stand the thought of living with me as a son.
I lost it. I shoved her into a wall and punched her twice. I regretted it as soon as it happened, and started apologising, but she started crying and stormed off. This all happened earlier today and she still hasn't come back.

I know our relationship sounds awful, but our fights don't occur much, and when we're good, we can really be in love.
i know I love her, but I still feel hurt over what she's said; she definitely took It too far, but I wish there was a way to rewind everything. I'm panicking over what she just might be doing now, and I just want to apologise but she's not answering my calls or anything.
please. I need some advice on what to do now.

I don't condone violence in any relationship, but she was provoking you. Obviously she didn't mean what she said and was just trying to get a reaction from you.

This doesnt sound like a healthy relationship for either of you, it sounds like youre just hanging on because you've been together for so long.

You need to let go. This isnt how a relationship is meant to be. Its not okay to provoke your partner by saying the cruellest thing you can think of, and its not okay to be violent towards one another.

I don't mean to be down about it, but this relationship has probably been over for a long time.

Reply 14

PostgradMatt

9

Don't let the guilt take over, we cannot be perfect all our lives, we make mistakes. Learn from this, never use violence again unless it is required to protect you or someone else you love, otherwise it will only make things worse. If this happens again, get help. You must give your girlfriend space for now, it seems like you need it to.

Reply 15

Willbean

11

Original post by allthetime

I don't condone violence in any relationship, but she was provoking you. Obviously she didn't mean what she said and was just trying to get a reaction from you.

This doesnt sound like a healthy relationship for either of you, it sounds like youre just hanging on because you've been together for so long.

You need to let go. This isnt how a relationship is meant to be. Its not okay to provoke your partner by saying the cruellest thing you can think of, and its not okay to be violent towards one another.

I don't mean to be down about it, but this relationship has probably been over for a long time.

How the **** did she not mean it? When I'm pissed, I don't go THAT low. What she said was seriously out of order. But of course, women defend their own kind.

I don't condone violence either but that bitch crossed several lines. First she initiated the violence by shoving him and then using a family members death against him.

If you did not mean it, you would not say **** like that. I can say some disgusting things but that was horrible.

Reply 16

Yawn11

20

She earned that beating

Reply 17

nukethemaly

11

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will leave psychological scars that will haunt forever.

Reply 18

tania<3

15

Jeez

what made her start anyways? I think she was in the wrong for saying such horrible things to you, but I also think you were in the wrong for hitting her - but you realise that. Just apologise but I'm not going to lie, if my boyfriend ever hit me things could never go back to being the same. Atleast not for a long time :/

Reply 19

Ham22

15

You shouldn't have hit her, but she sounds like a total bitch. DUMP!

I hit her but I didn't mean to

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