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Original post by im so academic
You say that, but you would judge me on my looks if you were to see me, and as a result you would hate me. You hate me.


well what are your options here? you can either be unattractive and bitter, or unattractive and a joy to be around, what's gonna get you further in life?
Original post by im so academic
Everyone judges on looks but it is far, FAR harder for a girl. A girl has to be PHYSICALLY attractive - period. There are ways for men to get around this. I can't. I cannot.


no they dont. For example it starts with friendship - guys dont have to be friends exclusively with hot girls then they get to know each other and bam. relationship, the "friendzone" crap has been blown waaaay out of proportion these days. I used to be really quite hideous i still got boyfriends and no it wasn't because i put out, its because i was confident, i knew i was ugly..i didnt need other people to know i knew that and i knew that anyone who refused to date me because of my looks wasnt really worth my time and i just dodged a bullet.

Unfortunately looks are a big part of a relationship, like it or not you have to be physically attracted to someone but that doesnt mean you have to be a 10/10 very few guys are actually that amazingly hot and if im honest it's about playing on your level, im roughly a 4/10 so im not going to try it on with a 9/10 am i, its just illogical.
Reply 22
Original post by Care-Free
¬.¬ and women never judge men on looks do we :rolleyes: It's also really harsh to the men who do infact go for the less obviously pretty girls, plenty of girls have boyfriends when they'd be considered ugly, its the " oh my god im so ugly all guys are dicks cause you wont look at me cause im ugly look how ugly and horrifically insecure i am LOOK AT IT!!!" that puts guys off.

If anything men have it harder, us ugly chicks and throw on a bit of slap, shove something down our bra and no ones any the wiser unfortunately men are stuck looking like that.


That's what you think...

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA :devil3: :mwuaha:
Reply 23
As said above, theres always preferences, but its all circumstantial. For example, i wouldnt bother approaching a girl, in a pub for example, if I didnt think she was attractive, however, sometimes your forced into the situation where you spend time with someone you didnt think was attractive, say a group of friends with another group of friends, then after to getting to know them, all of a sudden you find yourself becoming attracted to them. I personally find girls waaaay more attractive if i know them over randoms.
Original post by PoGo HoPz
That's what you think...

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA :devil3: :mwuaha:


Shhhh let us believe! This all works on the idea that men see what appears to be a massive rack and then when their logic is impaired we have them trapped...some of you sneaky buggers are just too smart for our tricks!
Original post by bhtld
As said above, theres always preferences, but its all circumstantial. For example, i wouldnt bother approaching a girl, in a pub for example, if I didnt think she was attractive, however, sometimes your forced into the situation where you spend time with someone you didnt think was attractive, say a group of friends with another group of friends, then after to getting to know them, all of a sudden you find yourself becoming attracted to them. I personally find girls waaaay more attractive if i know them over randoms.


Would you waste your time getting to know girls if they were ugly?
Ergh.
Reply 27
Original post by im so academic
Would you waste your time getting to know girls if they were ugly?

I guess, never really thought about it, but i work in tesco, so theres quite a lot of people there and I like to think im friends with everyone in that place around my age, regardless of what they looked like, and like i said in my post, i started thinking about a few in a different way after a while.
Reply 28
Original post by im so academic
Thank you. What are your genuine opinions on ugly girls like myself?

Are you sure you don't hate ugly women? I know I've been hated on because I'm ugly. Even by other girls.



Ok firstly, looks are based on opinion. So you (and as you've suggested, others) think you're ugly, however some people won't. Trust me.

If I see someone who I think is ugly, I won't be attracted to them. I wouldn't be particularly interested in getting into a relationship with them, having a one night stand with them or even approaching them.

However, I can still be friends with someone I'm not attracted to. If they have a nice personality, sense of humour etc etc then its not a problem, I can like them as a friend. But if I'm not sexual attracted to them, it won't go any further than that.

Do I hate ugly women? No. I don't hate anyone based on looks. I hate my fair share of people but it's nothing to do with the way they look. If people hate you because of your looks, they're very immature and naive. May I ask how old you are? Hating on someone because of looks sounds like a very teenage girl thing to do.
Original post by im so academic
I've been told that I am explicitly.



It's not that I'm plain, it's because I'm ugly in the actual sense of the word. Even I think I'm ugly. I'd kill to be plain.



I don't think so. Did you read about the Cambridge article where there was one male undergraduate that said one of the best things about studying at Cambridge is now you can judge on looks? (Because by default everyone there is intelligent).



Sometimes I feel that irrespective of what I "have to offer", it's worthless because I'm not pretty. What about the other girls who are better than me AND more prettier as well?


Maybe.



It's the same wherever I go. You meet amazing people that you can never ever have a chance with because you're ugly. And you hate yourself because of it. You can never have the guy you want because you're so ****ing ugly. I hate that.



Thanks for you words. I try and stay optimistic, but it's hard. :frown:


Look, there will always be someone who's prettier than you, more intelligent, more talented, more charming, whatever. That doesn't mean you're worthless though, far from it. You can't let your own self-worth be determined by comparisons with other people, because that way you'll never feel good about yourself. Just focus on yourself, on the things you do like about yourself (there must be something) and on how to make those things stand out; and also on how to improve the things you don't like - e. g. go to the gym if you're not happy with your body, wear nice clothes that suit your figure, get a nice haircut, etc. Doing that will do wonders for your confidence.
Original post by LSeeber1
Ok firstly, looks are based on opinion. So you (and as you've suggested, others) think you're ugly, however some people won't. Trust me.


I disagree. Even I think I'm ugly.

If I see someone who I think is ugly, I won't be attracted to them. I wouldn't be particularly interested in getting into a relationship with them, having a one night stand with them or even approaching them.


That's fine.

However, I can still be friends with someone I'm not attracted to. If they have a nice personality, sense of humour etc etc then its not a problem, I can like them as a friend. But if I'm not sexual attracted to them, it won't go any further than that.


Hmm....

Do I hate ugly women? No. I don't hate anyone based on looks. I hate my fair share of people but it's nothing to do with the way they look. If people hate you because of your looks, they're very immature and naive. May I ask how old you are? Hating on someone because of looks sounds like a very teenage girl thing to do.


In my experience, it doesn't seem that way. Then again, I am a teenage girl.
Original post by ForgettingWhatsername
Look, there will always be someone who's prettier than you, more intelligent, more talented, more charming, whatever. That doesn't mean you're worthless though, far from it. You can't let your own self-worth be determined by comparisons with other people, because that way you'll never feel good about yourself. Just focus on yourself, on the things you do like about yourself (there must be something) and on how to make those things stand out; and also on how to improve the things you don't like - e. g. go to the gym if you're not happy with your body, wear nice clothes that suit your figure, get a nice haircut, etc. Doing that will do wonders for your confidence.


There isn't. I feel that I can never like myself if I'm not pretty and valued by guys for being pretty.
Reply 32
Original post by im so academic
I disagree. Even I think I'm ugly.



That's fine.


Hmm....



In my experience, it doesn't seem that way. Then again, I am a teenage girl.



Ok well you're a teenage girl so I'd expect anyone who hates you because of the way you look are your peers and, like a said before, are immature and/or naive. Unfortunately, when you're that age, that's what girls are like.

However, if you're 16/17 or under, you're still developing. There may be a chance you get more attractive with age, who knows! Look at Cheryl Cole for example. She's got better with age.

I promise you that not everyone will think you're ugly. If you're worried about finding a boyfriend or whatever, don't be. Enjoy life, you're too young to be looking for love. If you REALLY REALLY hate the way you look, you could have work done when you're older (nose job or whatever) but I strongly advise you not to do that because the chances are you will look worse.
Reply 33
Original post by im so academic
I don't want any of this crap like "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" (total nonsense) and "there are other qualities to consider, not just beauty" (YEAH right).

Men, just give me your honest opinions when you see women. How far do you judge them on looks? Why do you hate ugly woman such as myself?

How far do you base a woman's worth on her looks?

I want honest answers.

Look, no one is going to know you've posted in this thread. Just let out what you really think. I don't want to be lied to anymore.


ISA,

I really admire you as a user here on TSR. You are smart, witty, sometimes down to earth, assertive and honest. You aren't perfect, but you definitely have good qualities.

I'll tell you the truth. It's a little like a sliding scale. To men , beauty is absolutely crucial. Beauty differs though, and although you will see MOST men preferring the same few women, there are sometimes disagreements.

But a beautiful woman is beautiful, no matter what variations say she is. I.E all this beholder nonsense only applies to a FEW cases.

It's cruel. It's terrible , knowing you will be judged for the rest of your life for something you had no hand in. Knowing some people view us humans as pure animals and not elivated sentient beings. Knowing all looks are for is 5 minutes of procreation. Is that all we are as humans? Seriously?

BUT, you're a woman. Now here comes the good news. If you lose weight NOT ANOREXIC! Just get a good body/stay slim you are PRACTICALLY half way there. A guy has to insanely work out to get a good body, all you have to do is lose weight!

As a woman, your hair counts for more. The right hair can change a lot too.

+ you have make up on your side. We men (apart from the odd cases) do not wear make up.

+ The average woman can be much more selective than the average man.


So looks are bloody important. But as a woman, you don't have an insurmountable task.

I must add though, no matter what you view yourself as, ACT like you are the most beautiful woman. It won't solve everything BUT it can sometimes be in your favor.

IDK why you have gotten so many negatives. People hate those who give the taboo views.
Reply 34
Original post by LSeeber1
Ok well you're a teenage girl so I'd expect anyone who hates you because of the way you look are your peers and, like a said before, are immature and/or naive. Unfortunately, when you're that age, that's what girls are like.

However, if you're 16/17 or under, you're still developing. There may be a chance you get more attractive with age, who knows! Look at Cheryl Cole for example. She's got better with age.

I promise you that not everyone will think you're ugly. If you're worried about finding a boyfriend or whatever, don't be. Enjoy life, you're too young to be looking for love. If you REALLY REALLY hate the way you look, you could have work done when you're older (nose job or whatever) but I strongly advise you not to do that because the chances are you will look worse.


Tell that to a 13 year old girl, who i remember in year 9, was severely bullied because of her looks.

The younger you are the more cruel they are

but you're spot on. It does improve with age ! Both your looks and how people react to you.
Original post by LSeeber1
Ok well you're a teenage girl so I'd expect anyone who hates you because of the way you look are your peers and, like a said before, are immature and/or naive. Unfortunately, when you're that age, that's what girls are like.

However, if you're 16/17 or under, you're still developing. There may be a chance you get more attractive with age, who knows! Look at Cheryl Cole for example. She's got better with age.

I promise you that not everyone will think you're ugly. If you're worried about finding a boyfriend or whatever, don't be. Enjoy life, you're too young to be looking for love. If you REALLY REALLY hate the way you look, you could have work done when you're older (nose job or whatever) but I strongly advise you not to do that because the chances are you will look worse.


It's **** because you meet people right now who you could never have and you believe there could never be anyone else for you. You know this is incorrect and bull**** - but you still believe it regardless.
Reply 36
+ focus on your education. There are PLENTY of things you can do to improve your looks.

I won't give you the old pep talk or nonsense about how much prettier you are than everyone else, because that's all it would be.

So forget what you are, tell me what you want to become?

What do you dislike about your looks, and what do you want to change?

OH and do not let this get in the way of your ACADEMICS. Seriously, this is a dog eat dog world. Do not allow the Dogs of this world to take away what you have a hand in. Atleast at the end of the day when all is done and dusted, you will say, whatever in my life i had a hand in, i excelled, and went above and over what they said i could. So if looks had been in my hands(THEY ARE to an extent) i would have OWNED the playing field.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 37
Original post by im so academic
It's **** because you meet people right now who you could never have and you believe there could never be anyone else for you. You know this is incorrect and bull**** - but you still believe it regardless.



I'm sure everyone can relate to this, myself included. Infact, every time I go out on a Saturday night I'll see someone who is unbelievable good looking but I could never 'have' them. I mean I wouldn't say I'm the best looking guy myself but I try not worry about that and just have a good time. What will be will be 'n that.
Original post by MENDACIUM
ISA,

I really admire you as a user here on TSR. You are smart, witty, sometimes down to earth, assertive and honest. You aren't perfect, but you definitely have good qualities.

I'll tell you the truth. It's a little like a sliding scale. To men , beauty is absolutely crucial. Beauty differs though, and although you will see MOST men preferring the same few women, there are sometimes disagreements.

But a beautiful woman is beautiful, no matter what variations say she is. I.E all this beholder nonsense only applies to a FEW cases.

It's cruel. It's terrible , knowing you will be judged for the rest of your life for something you had no hand in. Knowing some people view us humans as pure animals and not elivated sentient beings. Knowing all looks are for is 5 minutes of procreation. Is that all we are as humans? Seriously?

BUT, you're a woman. Now here comes the good news. If you lose weight NOT ANOREXIC! Just get a good body/stay slim you are PRACTICALLY half way there. A guy has to insanely work out to get a good body, all you have to do is lose weight!

As a woman, your hair counts for more. The right hair can change a lot too.

+ you have make up on your side. We men (apart from the odd cases) do not wear make up.

+ The average woman can be much more selective than the average man.


So looks are bloody important. But as a woman, you don't have an insurmountable task.

I must add though, no matter what you view yourself as, ACT like you are the most beautiful woman. It won't solve everything BUT it can sometimes be in your favor.

IDK why you have gotten so many negatives. People hate those who give the taboo views.


I just feel that I could always become so much better, but there are things beyond me, I feel that this is impossible.

What I'm saying might be a taboo view, yet EVERYONE holds it in their minds. At least I'm not afraid of saying what's what.
Original post by MENDACIUM
+ focus on your education. There are PLENTY of things you can do to improve your looks.

I won't give you the old pep talk or nonsense about how much prettier you are than everyone else, because that's all it would be.

So forget what you are, tell me what you want to become?

What do you dislike about your looks, and what do you want to change?

OH and do not let this get in the way of your ACADEMICS. Seriously, this is a dog eat dog world. Do not allow the Dogs of this world to take away what you have a hand in. Atleast at the end of the day when all is done and dusted, you will say, whatever in my life i had a hand in, i excelled, and went above and over what they said i could. So if looks had been in my hands(THEY ARE to an extent) i would have OWNED the playing field.


Sometimes I feel that academics/education are worth **** all if you're not beautiful.

After all, what can really compete with the guy of your dreams ****ing you?

Not much and even then :moon:

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