why does every guy do this to me? so annoyed

This. I don't get how the OP can fall for those white knights. That's why she isn't initially attracted to them, don't know why she gets attracted once they move on. Probably because of the thrill of chasing something you can't get.

Trouble is if you text even slightly flirty things like "wish you were here" etc, after one date, then it kind of sounds like you're after some quick romance and a guy probably would expect you to 'put out' quickly and give up when you don't.

Ignore the friend zoning crap, because its just people who can't get laid because they're not their type or whatever, so look for excuses in the form of 'friend zoning'. What you need is to befriend guys and see if something materialises as you'll know it'll be meaningful and that he'll be prepared to wait because you'll mean something to him too. My first boyfriend waited 2 years before I felt ready to lose my virginity, and he never pushed me once. Me and all my friends are with guys we were friends with first, so good luck

Why do women have to change themselves to get a boyfriend? Surely if someone really has the potential to love you then they will love you for yourself - not for some fake personality or polished appearance that isn't natural for you. You want a meaningful relationship? Don't change yourself and be patient and wait for the right person to come along. Then they'll accept you.


Posted from TSR Mobile

Thats the problem. Me and this guy have been friends a while and the attraction is clearly there for both of us. We havent even been on 'dates' because we are friends. But the texting like ''wish you were here'' etc is confusing when he then says he doesnt want a relationship.

I never just date guys, I have to be their friend to even consider being in a relationship with them tbh.

This. I don't get how the OP can fall for those white knights. That's why she isn't initially attracted to them, don't know why she gets attracted once they move on. Probably because of the thrill of chasing something you can't get.

Who said that?

I hang out with them, we are friends. Then they express their interest. Im not interested. They keep pursuing. I then start getting interested. I start to fall. Then they pull it all away

Tbh this has only happened twice.

But what I mean is guys never seem to want relationships with me generally (which if you read previously, I am not looking for a relationship, but I dont understand why guys dont want 1 with me and always see me as just a sex thing) if any of that makes sense lol

Because a lot of young lads do not want a serious relationship, that is not hard to understand.

Maybe because they're acting interested in her and paying her a lot of attention? It says a couple of times that she is interested in guys who seem interested in her. It doesn't say she's only attracted to them after they don't want her.

Guys who are nice > alpha male macho bull****.

I feel like Im going round in circles :P

No that is completely easy to understand.

I guess Im ranting because i feel unlucky.

This guy has always been in a relationship with someone, then when it comes to me- we get on so well, and he clearly really fancies me but he suddenley wants 'single time' Which is fine, obviously.

I just feel annoyed at the situation because I always feel like its me that loses out. He spent all this time in relationships, now we both like each other, but clearly not enough to be together.

I guess I just feel like Im always at the wrong time in what they are searching for. (By 'they' I mean the 2 guys that did this, as generally im not interested in relationships)

Because you might be a miserable ****.

Why do women have to change themselves to get a boyfriend? Surely if someone really has the potential to love you then they will love you for yourself - not for some fake personality or polished appearance that isn't natural for you. You want a meaningful relationship? Don't change yourself and be patient and wait for the right person to come along. Then they'll accept you.


Posted from TSR Mobile

The people who say "I won't change myself" are usually massively up themselves or very lazy. Your personality is not a rigid structure, you can work on it and improve it. The people who don't are narcissistic or lazy.

Changing your personality to attract the opposite sex is just desperate and sad.

It is more important to accept yourself , know where your flaws lie and find someone compatible with who you actually are. You are the sort of person that misguidedly advised to me to try and be more feminine and quiet and oh god did that cause some disastrous relationships.

Improving your personality to improve your life is not desperate or sad, it is called growing up.



There is accepting yourself. And thinking that you deserve something for nothing.

Seeing a relationship as the best way to improve your life is pretty desperate and sad in my eyes. Also misguided.

You can be kind and nice to someone without changing yourself though, putting effort in to make someone happy does not mean changing who you are.

Say what you want but the anectodal evidence is clear to see;

Alpha ****s, beta bucks.

Where did I say get a relationship?



No, make yourself happy.

I do not know a single woman who is in a relationship with an "alpha". Or sleeps with them. They all find them irritating and laughable. Believe it or not, we're not dogs.