Who Pays For Dinner On A Date?

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we are both students on a tight budget, so it kind of alternates.

usually we may go out to rekindle after an argument, and he usually pays (being a gentleman). however i make sure i get the cheapest option, and if i go for alcohol i pay for the alcohol.

if we just decided to go out, then we split

if i asked him if he wanted to go out, then i would pay no buts. :smile:

Reply 61

Noxious-Nikki

My boyfriend used to pay for pretty much everything, meals, drinks, cinema, weekends away etc. He likes to do so, and honestly, it feels nice to be a bit spoiled. But then if ever he's low on cash i'm perfectly happy to pay for both of us too.
Also I tend to be a more generous gift-giver, so it probably more or less balances out, I dunno, we don't keep score.

If, hypothetically, I was to date someone else, I would offer to go halves, but if they wanted to treat me I have no problem with that.

Reply 62

megfashion

Original post by Noxious-Nikki

my boyfriend used to do that haha. but i realised he was low on money, so ive resorted to sometimes staring at the cashier and saying "dont take his money, please take mine" :P

Reply 63

Ronove

Original post by Rooster523

A girl asking a guy out? How very modern...

I aggressively pursued my other half. Instigated flirting and kept at it despite him saying I shouldn't (not sure why he said it, as he had liked me for a long time apparently), bought a plane ticket to go visit him and announced as much to him, initiated first hand-holding etc, virtually bullied him into our first sexual intercourse, decided to emigrate and move in with him several months before he was expecting it, and finally, proposed. How modern am I? :eek:

Disclaimer: I make myself sound very odd and rapey in this post. I am not really. He's happy about the whole thing at least. :colondollar:

Reply 64

tu_es_jolie_x

One the first date I would say the guy should pay and after that it should be 50/50 unless it's for one of your birthdays or something like that.

Reply 65

poiuy

Well if you've asked someone out on a date and you've booked somewhere expensive and well out of their price zone, then you should pay.
If you've asked them out for the date it is polite to pay, but then it's also polite for the other half to offer to go half even if they know the other will pay.

Note how I didn't say guy or girl, just guys are more likely to do the asking so more likely to pay...

Reply 66

Michaelj

Original post by Ronove

Disclaimer: I make myself sound very odd and rapey in this post. I am not really. He's happy about the whole thing at least. :colondollar:

Fair play to you but it also sounds like you're dating a doormat. :tongue:

Reply 67

ipoop

Personally, I think it is the person that does the asking that should pay, if I'm asked out to dinner than I would offer to pay but not the full price, I would most likely pay my share or split. If I'm the one asking out than I offer to pay in full but if they want to pay than we split.

When it comes to with the girlfriend though, we used to either split or alternate, so I'd pay toady and tomorrow she'd pay. tbh it never was something we talked about, everything just clicked on that part. We had an agreement which we didn't even negotiate.

Reply 68

dartanoir

I would definitely pay for my share! I don't really understand why a guy should pay for me..

Reply 69

hskjlclcn

On a first date, the pursuer should offer, but the other shouldn't just expect it to happen. I don't think it's got anything to do with gender roles anymore.

Reply 70

Ronove

Original post by Michaelj

Fair play to you but it also sounds like you're dating a doormat. :tongue:

Haha, I'm well aware of that. :tongue:

To be fair though he's totally not the kind of person to make demands of/push me. In our situation it would probably have been inappropriate for him to have done so to an extent as well. Can't really demand someone flies over to meet you if you're not sure they won't be horribly disappointed. :tongue:

Reply 71

TwilightKnight

Original post by Helenia

This has been done many times before.

I'm married now, so date nights come out of our joint bank account unless it's a birthday or something. Previously we would either split it or alternate, though if he wanted to go somewhere really fancy during the period where he was working and I was still a student, he would pay.

In general, for a first date I think it is polite that the person who did the asking should be prepared to pay, but the other person should be willing to split it.

This makes sense. With my ex whenever we went out I used to pay the "lions" share because even though we were both students, I had more money, so it would usually be 60/40, 70/30... and in fairness, it was usually me who wanted to go out for drinks, meals etc.

First dates, I dunno. I've always paid and I've only ever been asked out on a date, I've never done the asking. The closest I've been is when someone asked me to ask them out. Still paid. Now I know I should have been getting a free meal the whole time. I'm a sucker. Joking aside though, as I guy I have felt it's traditional for me to pay on the first date, even if the girl asked me out, but it is nice when they offer to pay, even if I have no intent on them paying.

Reply 72

LISSEY

Original post by LISSEY

I'm old fashioned as I believe if a guy takes you on a date then he should pay for dinner. :wink:

Thanks guys for giving me a red gem...just what I've always wanted. :smile:

Reply 73

superduper9

Original post by Wiffy

There is no set rule I think..whoever offers first and is the most willing....

...if neither are keen make a runner I say! :wink:

Haha! I like how you roll :tongue:

Reply 74

LISSEY

I feel so sorry for the current generation of female students as from this thread it seems there are very few gentlemen on here willing to treat their girlfriend to the odd meal. What happened to romance!

Reply 75

alexmagpie

I used to do everything 50:50, but with my current boyfriend we've alternated - he paid the first time (dinner), on the agreement that I would pay on our next date (drinks and cinema).

Whilst the money doesn't work out as exactly equally, it will balance out in the end, and it's quite nice to treat and be treated.

Reply 76

Rooster523

Original post by Ronove

Disclaimer: I make myself sound very odd and rapey in this post. I am not really. He's happy about the whole thing at least. :colondollar:

That sounds more like he's got Stockholm Syndrome than genuine affection for you :wink:

I kid of course, a very modern tale!

Reply 77

thunder_chunky

Original post by Scienceisgood

Hey Guys;

Well, I know this may sound odd, but you know how now it is all about equality and stuff, I want to get your views on dates and who pays for the dinner/meal. =P

Do you pay for your share, split it 50/50 or does the guy pay for it all?

I'm happy to pay. I don't know if it's what you call old fashioned but I've always thought that it's the way it goes. Etiquette or something to that effect.

Reply 78

Misstery

I think paying for your own share should be the norm. But in a relationship, taking turns treating/being treated is nice.

I don't like paying/being paid for with new dates. It just seems like too much of an investment before any commitment has been made.

Reply 79

datpiff

In the perfect world things would be equal, but they're not. It's the guys who are always expected to pay for the first date.

These traditional expectations are full of crap these days. For a start quite a lot of women these days earn more than their male counterparts, especially when work in traditionally male industries such as construction and manufacturing dries. That means they should be taking you out.

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(edited 11 years ago)