Ex called me a d*ck. What did I do?

Seriously, what did I do wrong?

She rang me today about some tickets I made her for some university thing, we spoke on the phone fine. Then she text me about this award thing our university is doing and she told me who had been voted in as having the 'best bum'. Just a bit of a fun thing our uni is doing, but she told me who had been voted. I laughed because they were poor choices, and said there were better bums. She said "yeah like mine". I said that it was alright, and she replied "only alright!", I then replied "bit more than alright". She asked me who she should put in as winning the categories. I said to put herself in for best bum, and me as having the best dance moves. She replied with no. So then I said it was a joke, and said to put this other girl in as she goes the gym and works on her bum. It was all a joke, but she just replied "you're a dick". I said why, and she said "you just are, night". So I replied "I was messing I said you first anyway. Last day of uni tomorrow anyway, hooray. Night". Tried to keep it light hearted, but what did I do?

(edited 11 years ago)

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Reply 1

Pedd

You tried to communicate with her, that's what. I'm as perplexed as you are. :confused:

Reply 2

Mockery

I struggled to keep up with that.. She's your ex? Because of this or previously so?

Reply 3

miser

Sorry dude, you handled it all wrong. When she said, "only alright!" that should've been like a warning flare of impending doom, but you waded in deeper.

Better would've been to blow her a kiss to show her you were teasing her.

Reply 4

MelanieDickson

Sure it wasn't jokingly? People call each other dicks all the time, in and of itself it doesn't mean much.

Reply 5

patterson

You refused to give her the D. Very bad my friend.

Reply 6

jonnykino

I dunno if she was joking, because it was a "you just are night". Thought we were getting on well.

And she was my ex before this, we still keep in touch though. If I'd said "your bum is nicer she would have thought "hey he likes me still" and prob acted weird with me.

Reply 7

Tiina

The bit where you said the other girl had a good bum and should win is saying her bum is better than your exes.

This makes perfect sense to me lol, so weird how girls' and guys' logic is different lol.

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Reply 8

scrotgrot

You tried to make a joke and she took it too seriously, standard man/woman communication problem. Best solution is to ignore her for a while and let her get over herself.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 9

sammyjade92

She wants the D. She was fishing for compliments :wink:

Reply 10

TruetoMyself

should have called her slag. Not sure how that helps though.

Reply 11

jonnykino

Sooo, how do I fix it. Was my last text enough to do it. I said she had a nice bum first but she replied with 'no'. So what else could I have done?

Reply 12

Crystal Fighter

(edited 11 years ago)

This is retarded.

If she texts you again, just reply back with "Sorry, who is this again?"

Reply 15

Truflais

She's obviously not over you and was expecting something like 'But nobody has a better bum than you!' Which is a bit silly as you're not even with her any more. Don't dwell on it.

Reply 16

jonnykino

Yeah but still don't want her to be pissed at me. If she's annoyed at me talking about other girls I don't have a chance at meeting other girls if she's gonna get annoyed with me talking about them

Reply 17

beckaroo7

sounds like she was fishing for compliments, didn't get the response she wanted and got into a sulk

Reply 18

McUsername

Talking with your ex about who has the nicest bum? Seems like you were screwed from the start of the conversation tbh. There was no right answer there.

Reply 19

Bhumbauze

Original post by Tiina

The bit where you said the other girl had a good bum and should win is saying her bum is better than your exes.

This.

This makes perfect sense to me lol, so weird how girls' and guys' logic is different lol.

Or, rather, he forgot (or tragically, never knew, until now) that the majority of females are inherently illogical.

OP: You offended her by heinously suggesting that her bum was not the best bum ever created. In future, you must remember to elevate said bum to unreasonable levels. Tell her that her bum is otherworldly, and that it would be an insult to the very nature of bums to even lower it to the human level of mere "competition". Her bum is transcendent, a masterpiece, far beyond the judgement of mere mortals.

Then, you can put your penis in it.

And win.