The Student Room Group

Please help problems with my niece

Well a while ago I gave my niece a detention for texting and swearing in my lesson. Well out of anger she spread rumours (as well of doing other things) I got a letter from the headmaster of the school saying that the school have heard that I am singling out this studenst. I am not. If any of my students swore at me and text is my lesson I would give them a detention and I have given an other students a detention for similair things but not many students do exactly what she did. It has been going around the school that I swore in lessons when I didn't. The headmaster is now going to investiagte this. I can't lose this job I am currently pregnant and my husband and I need the money to pay for baby stuff. What should I do about this situation? I love my niece but I hate when she lies like this she doesn't realise that it is my job on the line. Should I speak to her about this? I am babysitting on friday I was thinking of maybe buying her something and then talking to her about it what do you think?
Reply 1
Original post by Jennyobrien
Well a while ago I gave my niece a detention for texting and swearing in my lesson. Well out of anger she spread rumours (as well of doing other things) I got a letter from the headmaster of the school saying that the school have heard that I am singling out this studenst. I am not. If any of my students swore at me and text is my lesson I would give them a detention and I have given an other students a detention for similair things but not many students do exactly what she did. It has been going around the school that I swore in lessons when I didn't. The headmaster is now going to investiagte this. I can't lose this job I am currently pregnant and my husband and I need the money to pay for baby stuff. What should I do about this situation? I love my niece but I hate when she lies like this she doesn't realise that it is my job on the line. Should I speak to her about this? I am babysitting on friday I was thinking of maybe buying her something and then talking to her about it what do you think?


The school can have as many rumours as they want...if at the end of the day they are IN THE WRONG and you are IN THE RIGHT, they can't fire you. They would need concrete evidence to sack you, plus if they did have evidence and it wasn't that serious you would most likely get a verbal warning.

Why is your niece doing this to you? Surely if she is family she should have even more respect for you, she should realise how important this job is for you. I'm curious to ask how you ended up teaching your niece?

I think you should speak to your niece, no need to bribe her. Just tell her the truth, if she has any common sense she would realise what a bad situation she is putting yourself in.

At the end of the day, situations like this require concrete evidence of a mistake from your part. You should be fine, just talk to your niece and time (which is a very very good healer) should take care of the situation.
Reply 2
Hi Jenny,
I would advise you not to speak to her, you should speak to her parents. There is a chance that she may choose to ignore everything you say to her, or in a bad situation claim that your trying to bribe her :frown:.

I understand the situation you are in is stressful, the best thing to do is deal with it professionally and in an adult manner. Speak to her parents, I am sure they can explain to the headmaster if your niece is twisting things.


Original post by Jennyobrien
Well a while ago I gave my niece a detention for texting and swearing in my lesson. Well out of anger she spread rumours (as well of doing other things) I got a letter from the headmaster of the school saying that the school have heard that I am singling out this studenst. I am not. If any of my students swore at me and text is my lesson I would give them a detention and I have given an other students a detention for similair things but not many students do exactly what she did. It has been going around the school that I swore in lessons when I didn't. The headmaster is now going to investiagte this. I can't lose this job I am currently pregnant and my husband and I need the money to pay for baby stuff. What should I do about this situation? I love my niece but I hate when she lies like this she doesn't realise that it is my job on the line. Should I speak to her about this? I am babysitting on friday I was thinking of maybe buying her something and then talking to her about it what do you think?
Reply 3
Original post by advice_guru
The school can have as many rumours as they want...if at the end of the day they are IN THE WRONG and you are IN THE RIGHT, they can't fire you. They would need concrete evidence to sack you, plus if they did have evidence and it wasn't that serious you would most likely get a verbal warning.

Why is your niece doing this to you? Surely if she is family she should have even more respect for you, she should realise how important this job is for you. I'm curious to ask how you ended up teaching your niece?

I think you should speak to your niece, no need to bribe her. Just tell her the truth, if she has any common sense she would realise what a bad situation she is putting yourself in.

At the end of the day, situations like this require concrete evidence of a mistake from your part. You should be fine, just talk to your niece and time (which is a very very good healer) should take care of the situation.


When I was able to teach I was looking for a school that would have a job vacancie and my niece said that there was one at her school so I applied.
Roughly two weeks ago I gave her a detention for texting in my lesson and swearing. She had problems getting over that and still hasn't. She is still obvioulsy very angry. I can also see by the texts I get from her. She is my niece by marriage and my husband says he doesn't know whats going on with her.
Reply 4
Original post by Jennyobrien
When I was able to teach I was looking for a school that would have a job vacancie and my niece said that there was one at her school so I applied.
Roughly two weeks ago I gave her a detention for texting in my lesson and swearing. She had problems getting over that and still hasn't. She is still obvioulsy very angry. I can also see by the texts I get from her. She is my niece by marriage and my husband says he doesn't know whats going on with her.



Yeah if you feel your niece is mature enough you should talk to her but as another poster said, her parents may be a better option.

End of the day if you're right and she is wrong, you should be fine even with all this twisting.

May I ask what you teach? I have a few friends going to do their PGCEs right now. :tongue:
Reply 5
Original post by advice_guru
Yeah if you feel your niece is mature enough you should talk to her but as another poster said, her parents may be a better option.

End of the day if you're right and she is wrong, you should be fine even with all this twisting.

May I ask what you teach? I have a few friends going to do their PGCEs right now. :tongue:


I teach History (lower school) and GCSE drama
Reply 6
Speak to your niece to try to resolve things.

Speak to the other children to confirm that they did not witness you using inappropriate language (witnesses :wink: )

Ask the school to transfer your niece to another class.

^possibilities?
Reply 7
Original post by Jennyobrien
I teach History (lower school) and GCSE drama


Oh wow I always liked history but we ended up doing all the slightly boring stuff in it.

I wish schools would focus on more interesting history such as The American Revolution, Ancient Egypt, Ancient Greece, Chinese History. Rather than the usual Tudors and Henry VIII and his extravagance.

Then again I only studied it up to Year 9, so I missed out on WW2 as well :frown:
Reply 8
Original post by British199
Hi Jenny,
I would advise you not to speak to her, you should speak to her parents. There is a chance that she may choose to ignore everything you say to her, or in a bad situation claim that your trying to bribe her :frown:.

I understand the situation you are in is stressful, the best thing to do is deal with it professionally and in an adult manner. Speak to her parents, I am sure they can explain to the headmaster if your niece is twisting things.


Last time I spoke to her parents when I had a problem with her and well I think that is part of the reason the rumours started. Basically I gave her a detention for swearing and texting. Her parents heard her call me a c@@@ and told her she was grounded so I don't want that again
Way too many lunch time isolations a d detentions, three for forgetting my planner, and the rest for espionage 😎

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