I'm affraid to move on

Basically there is this girl that i have VERY strong feelings for, however as is always the way with me, these feelings arn't repicrocated (spelling?), she does know of my feelings for her however (i'm a strong believer in not letting my feelings be bottled up)

Anyway we were talking the other day (we are still best friends and still get along well) and she told me (which i grudgingly agreed with) that one of the main reasons why i can't get with someone is that i'm scared of moving on and letting her go (which; like i said is true)

What i wanna know is, is this feeling normal?

I am letting her go slowly, but a big part of me wants to spend the rest of my life with her (yes i know how sappy that sounds)

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Reply 1

getaway

You have to force yourself to move on. If you say that there's no way that you'll ever be with her don't waste time and start meeting new people. you'll probably feel much better too!! :smile:

Reply 2

Aries1992

It is hard to move on. You have to pretend your over someone for a long time before one day you'll actually realise you truly are over her.

I'm a big believer in dating/liking someone else helps with getting over someone. Even though you may not want to right now - eventually it should pay off. You never know, you may meet the right girl :smile:

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Reply 3

Tomsta

Original post by Aries1992

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That would be the best thing for me to do, if there were any people i can develop feelings for, well there is one person, but it's very early days yet, and trying not to get emotionally attached too soon

Reply 4

CheeseMunchies

Keep making up storys in your head about how horrible she is, even if it's not true.

You'll go mental, but you would of moved on from her

Reply 5

Aries1992

Original post by Tcrumpen

Good

You don't need to get emotionally attached to her. Ask for her number (if you don't already have it), start texting (if you don't already) and then ask her on a date!

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Reply 6

Tomsta

Original post by Aries1992

Good

when i say very early days, i mean it, i met her last thursday and only manage to start talking to her over facebook yesterday

Reply 7

Aries1992

Original post by Tcrumpen

when i say very early days, i mean it, i met her last thursday and only manage to start talking to her over facebook yesterday

Well carry on speaking to her on fb for a week or two and then ask for her number. There is no appropriate time to ask someone on a date. Some people prefer to wait others will ask as soon as they meet someone.

I prefer the latter. Instead of wasting time texting for a few weeks I'd rather go out with the guy and see if I like him and how the date goes. :smile:

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Reply 8

Tomsta

Original post by Aries1992

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See i tried that approach with two girls (not at the same time) and didn't get the response i'm looking for, so i try to pan it out a bit, and still sidn't get the response i was looking for (two different girls i might add)

Reply 9

Aries1992

Original post by Tcrumpen

I know but don't worry about rejection as long as you've tried. Just be confident and laid back. It's only dating and should be fun.

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Reply 10

Tomsta

Original post by Aries1992

I know but don't worry about rejection as long as you've tried. Just be confident and laid back. It's only dating and should be fun.

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Only ever been on 1 date in my life, and that didn't end well (mostly my fault :P)

Reply 11

Aries1992

Original post by Tcrumpen

Only ever been on 1 date in my life, and that didn't end well (mostly my fault :P)

Want to tell me what happened? How old are you?

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Reply 12

Rainbows!

Original post by Tcrumpen

Sometimes it is hard to move on when your still close to her. Normally I would suggest just no further contact but it seems a shame to throw away such a strong friendship, so maybe distance yourself? I don't mean to be stand-offish towards her when she talks to you but I would arrange to meet her less etc just for now, just until you find your feet again. It gives you time to work through your emotions, meet and talk to other girls and maybe you might develop a crush which will take your mind off your friend.

I don't normally believe in rushing into finding other crushes or dates too soon as normally I believe it is healthy to digest emotions and grieve the loss of a relationship and the memories you had together, but without sounding mean you didn't have a relationship and the memories you do have are as friends which your still maintaining and still can make more fond memories, whereas the loss of a relationship prevents this (usually). I do understand though that unrequited love or even a unrequited infatuation, can be a very difficult thing :frown:

Reply 13

Tomsta

Original post by Aries1992

Want to tell me what happened? How old are you?

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i'm 20 and lets just say i got bored by then end of it yea, not proud of it

Reply 14

Aries1992

Original post by Tcrumpen

i'm 20 and lets just say i got bored by then end of it yea, not proud of it

Ok well was it the date or the girl?

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Reply 15

Tomsta

Original post by Aries1992

Ok well was it the date or the girl?

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kinda both, looking back realsied she was a bit of a bitch (she got with someone 3 days after the date went kaput)

Reply 16

Aries1992

Original post by Tcrumpen

kinda both, looking back realsied she was a bit of a bitch (she got with someone 3 days after the date went kaput)

That's not a bitch. If the date went **** then why not.

You need to be more confident in my opinion. Do you chat up girls when you go out?

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Reply 17

Tomsta

Original post by Aries1992

That's not a bitch. If the date went **** then why not.

You need to be more confident in my opinion. Do you chat up girls when you go out?

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to be honest, i do my best to, but i either fail or i don't do it due to a lack of confidance (kinda goes back to my childhood)

depends on what you define as "chat up" if you meaning basic flirting then yes i try to do that when i can, if you mean seducing people by being swarve then i don't do that (cos i can't pull that off)