Girls - your first time?

I'm at uni and I'm still a virgin... But I feel ready to have sex. Most people around me have done it, and I just feel like it's time... I feel like I want to. But I'm worried... was your first time awkward? Was it painful? Girls, please share your experiences and help me out! Like I WANT to, but I'm worried about the awkwardness/pain...

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Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Well I was in a (fairly new) relationship, but well I did know it was time. Being in a relationship for it I felt was the best thing as we were both virgins and it helped get over the awkwardness, and meant that we communicated about whether it was uncomfortable at any point (and well yes, it was slightly as it was all so different to anything else we'd done!). So yes, it is a bit uncomfortable at times, so it is really important to be relaxed about the situation you're in when you're going to. It's different for everyone but I'd say finding someone you're comfortable with is the best idea as it is less likely you'll regret it, even if it means waiting a while.

Reply 2

Anonymous #3

Didn't hurt me at all.
Probably because I was blind drunk and couldn't feel anything at all - NOT recommended.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Didn't hurt me.
Probably because I was blind drunk and couldn't feel anything at all - definitely NOT recommended.

See, knowing me, I think I'd be likely to lose it when blind drunk as well :/ Hopefully not but there is a chance. And sorry to be graphic or whatever, but did you bleed? And was it awkward at all?

Reply 4

Anonymous #4

Was (and still am) in a relationship, both virgins, both awkward and it did hurt more than I was expecting (I knew it was coming though haha)

I'm definitely glad I waited until I was in a relationship (I'm very nearly 18) although I think it would have been better if the drunk levels were similar; he was quite drunk while I was rather sober.... But hey what are you going to do! Just don't do it with some randomer! It's not worth it!

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

I have so many friends who lost it whilst drunk who now regret it - I'd say wait until it's with someone you know and are comfortable with as communicating helps make it much less painful. Think about how much your anticipating it now, and then think about if it doesn't go well, how much you might dread the next time it happens... it is actually a (very) nice experience, so I'm glad my first time didn't put me off!

Reply 6

username447608

if im brutally honest it was agony the pain was horrific and i literally felt sick it was so painful but i have friends who said it didnt hurt at all. I really personally think loosing it to somebody who cares is vital, a guy who cares will actually make sure its okay for you sex with a virgin the first time isint going to be some wild crazy sex it will be all about that one person so I was lucky my boyfriend didnt care he put his feelings/ needs to one side and made sure i felt comfortble. After the first time its all good though

Reply 7

Kink

I don't remember. Is that bad?

I mean, I remember the circumstances, I remember the 10 minutes leading up to, the minute I decided to because fortunately I was stone cold sober but not actually how it was...

Obviously it wasn't excruciating, else I would remember that. I think I just remember the ache that I had the day afterwards.

I rather think that because I've never thought losing your virginity is particularly special moment, that the build up I had to it was small. I wasn't that nervous. To me, having sex the first time, is just another first or any number of firsts you have in a lifetime. If you expect it to be absolutely thrilling, or absolutely awful, you're wrong - its definitely not going to be either of those.

Reply 8

Mel1215

Amazingly awkward yet so painful that I had tears streaming down my face and actually had to stop myself from crying aloud. For some reason despite the pain I enjoyed it, I think I enjoyed the intimacy. I had the ache for days though, that was worse than the initial penetration.

Reply 9

McUsername

It hurt loads, sort of like someone pinged an elastic band reaaally hard against me. Luckily the guy I was with (now ex but still a good friend) was brilliant, his first priority above everything else was making sure I was ok. Which is why I agree, it's really important that it's with someone you trust & feel really comfortable with :smile:

Reply 10

Anonymous #5

Was when I was 19 and in a loving relationship. Surprisingly didn't hurt at all, considering nothing had ever been up there before, and I didn't bleed. Didn't feel uncomfortable, but it wasn't necessarily pleasurable either. Just felt nice. We tried earlier in the day but he couldn't "get it up" so to speak, probably due to nerves. Everybody's first time will be different, but I would definitely say to be completely comfortable with the person you're losing it to. And remember, it gets a lot better over time. :wink:

Reply 11

Ahava

Personally, having sex for the first time didn't hurt. At all. I didn't bleed either. But it wasn't good either! I felt awkward, nervous, scared. It didn't get much better either. Turns out he was just extremely bad in bed, he wouldn't last longer than two minutes, no exaggeration. Once I got a new partner, it was amazing.

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Reply 12

canadamoose

For me, it wasn't painful, but when people talk about the ache the next day, that's real. My best friend likes to refer to it as the "phantom dick", which makes me laugh. The biggest problem that I had was that there wasn't really any foreplay, so it was unpleasant for other reasons that can still happen when you've been having sex for years. Also didn't help that my ex was a douchebag and didn't really ask if I was alright. Seriously though, do it with someone you trust and who cares about you, and you'll be just fine. :smile:

Reply 13

concubine

I have ex's that have found it painful and others that felt no pain at all.

Seems pointless asking, when everyone must know that this is the case. If you want to lose your virginity then go do it and accept that it may be uncomfortable. It's unlikely that it's going to be excruciating.

People need to take virginity off of this ridiculous pedestal and get over the borderline misogynistic idea that it's best to wait and lose it to someone really special, as if guys have some kind of ownership of it.

If you're ready to have sex and there's someone you're comfortable doing it with then just do it.

Reply 14

Bethan.94

The first time i think i did it just for the sake of it, i was in a relationship though and we both decided we were ready for it (both virgins), but when the time came i wasn't really in the mood and i ended up laughing all the way through. Which i don't think he appreciated. But it wasn't awkward and I don't regret it. It didn't hurt THAT much and I also didn't bleed which was strange.
However, even though that was technically my first time, i always associate my first time with my next boyfriend, because i was totally comfortable with him and i was more attracted to him, and basically the relationship was alot stronger.
So although my first first time was pretty ****e, i don't regret it because i was ready and it gave me confidence.
My first time with my second boyfriend, his gma walked in. First time i'd met her, pretty awkward.

Reply 15

littledolly

My first time, I was 14, with an 18 year old taking advantage of me when I just thought that's what everyone else around me was doing and that he loved me and that it was normal. Not recommended. Despise myself

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Reply 16

British199

I should have not clicked on this thread, as a virgin it is putting me off sex. :'(

Reply 17

rainbow.panda

My first time hurt like hell, it took us a few attempts to actually do it right because it hurt so bad. It felt like I was being ripped apart from the inside. Thankfully I had an understanding boyfriend who tried to be as gentle as possible. How much it hurts really depends on his size and how tight you are. Just take it slow and make sure to tell him to be gentle with you.

Reply 18

Bethan.94

It shouldn't!! Just wait until you're with someone you feel comfortable around and it'll be totally fine :smile:

Then you can stop without feeling embarassed if it hurts too much, or just let him know how it is.
And yes, it does hurt, but it's not really any worse than hitting your funny bone, or stubbing your toe or whatever, in my opinion, so don't let the pain stop you!

Original post by British199

I should have not clicked on this thread, as a virgin it is putting me off sex. :'(

Reply 19

Anonymous #6

My first time was when I was 15 and 2 weeks after I got together with my boyfriend, this sounds bad but we were both ready and he had been my best friend for ages. Anyway, not the point - I don't remember it hurting too badly at all if at all, you get a sort of ache and some blood later/next day but I really don't remember it being too horrible, obviously it's got alot better over the past 3 years but yeah, it's different for everyone, my friend had to keep stopping as it hurt her so much the first time, but being comfortable with the person makes alot of difference it seems.
Good luck, once the first time is out of the way it's going to get alot better so you've got that to look forward to! :wink: