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French speaking!!

Hey guys, after Easter i have my french speaking, so i was wondering if you could read through my first paragraph and give me an idea of how to improve it or how to achieve a higher grade!?

This is what i have to write for my first paragraph: say what you like to do with you friends outside school hours.

This is what i've wrote:

En dehors des heures d'école, j’aime aller faire du shopping avec ma meilleure amie Zahra. C'est parce que, de passer du temps avec elle m'aide à me changer les idées de tous les examens. En outre, Zahra est vraiment bon pour m'aider à choisir des vêtements. Elle a le même goût que moi. Quand je suis autour d'elle, je me sens comme personne ne peut me nuire. J'aime aussi aller au parc avec elle, parce que cela nous donne une chance de parler les uns avec les autres, tout en ne se trouve autour de nous. J'aime parler avec elle parce que je sens que si elle est la seule qui me comprenne.


Any help will be great!
Well you need to have as many different tenses in as possible, past will be easy as will present but try and get in the conditional (je voudrais aller...) to boost your marks.

Also just try and sound as confident as possible with it, you get marked on your accent which is where I fell down in mine!
Reply 2
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naomi24
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Original post by MusicMaestro97
Well you need to have as many different tenses in as possible, past will be easy as will present but try and get in the conditional (je voudrais aller...) to boost your marks.

Also just try and sound as confident as possible with it, you get marked on your accent which is where I fell down in mine!


ookay thank you so much. do you think i should add in this which is in the conditional tense? : Dans le futur, je voudrais aller à la nouvelle tinseltown Restaurant.
Si je gagnais la loterie, j'achèterais beaucoup de vêtements...?
Original post by naomi24
ookay thank you so much. do you think i should add in this which is in the conditional tense? : Dans le futur, je voudrais aller à la nouvelle tinseltown Restaurant.


As long as it's accurate then yes! Any change of tense can only help. Add in why you'd like to go there also.
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naomi24
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Original post by L'Evil Fish
Si je gagnais la loterie, j'achèterais beaucoup de vêtements...?


Thank youu, i added that in:smile:
Reply 6
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naomi24
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Original post by MusicMaestro97
As long as it's accurate then yes! Any change of tense can only help. Add in why you'd like to go there also.


yeh thats a good idea, my teacher did say that justifying gets you a higher mark. thank you:smile:
Original post by naomi24
Thank youu, i added that in:smile:


np:smile:

That has the "si" clause as well as the conditional.

What else...

Bien que je sois content, j'aimerais avoir plus d'argent?
Reply 8
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jalebii
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it's a little different from the French I know, Canadian French :s-smilie: ours is more harsh I guess lol


Posted from TSR Mobile
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naomi24
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Original post by L'Evil Fish
np:smile:

That has the "si" clause as well as the conditional.

What else...

Bien que je sois content, j'aimerais avoir plus d'argent?


you are soooo good at french!!:smile:

so ive put everyones ideas together and i got this:

Dans le futur, je voudrais aller à la nouvelle tinseltown Restaurant. Bien que je sois content, j'aimerais avoir plus d'argent acheter vêtements .Aussi, Si je gagnais la loterie, j'achèterais beaucoup de vêtements.

does it make sense?
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naomi24
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Original post by lilmissshady
it's a little different from the French I know, Canadian French :s-smilie: ours is more harsh I guess lol


Posted from TSR Mobile


aww looool
Original post by naomi24
you are soooo good at french!!:smile:

so ive put everyones ideas together and i got this:

Dans le futur, je voudrais aller à la nouvelle tinseltown Restaurant. Bien que je sois content, j'aimerais avoir plus d'argent acheter vêtements .Aussi, Si je gagnais la loterie, j'achèterais beaucoup de vêtements.

does it make sense?


I think so but one bit, it MIGHT be better to say:

Plus d'argent, alors je pourrais acheter vêtements?
Reply 12
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naomi24
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Original post by L'Evil Fish
I think so but one bit, it MIGHT be better to say:

Plus d'argent, alors je pourrais acheter vêtements?


yeh i think so too, so im gonna get rid of the bien que..... and put in plus d'argent, alsors.....
Original post by naomi24
yeh i think so too, so im gonna get rid of the bien que..... and put in plus d'argent, alsors.....


bien que je sois is a subjunctive though, which is very nice for marks
Reply 14
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naomi24
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Original post by L'Evil Fish
bien que je sois is a subjunctive though, which is very nice for marks


hmm, i can include bien que in the next paragraph, so i might do cause in the next one i have to write about what i do on a typical saturday
Original post by naomi24
hmm, i can include bien que in the next paragraph, so i might do cause in the next one i have to write about what i do on a typical saturday


Ah that'd be good... Like

Although I have to go to my nans house every Saturday, I don't become bored?
Reply 16
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naomi24
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Original post by L'Evil Fish
Ah that'd be good... Like

Although I have to go to my nans house every Saturday, I don't become bored?


yeh:smile:

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