How do I Ask a Friend to Set Me Up with one of her Boyfriend's Friends?

Hi, please give me your insight and advice on this.

I am currently at university, on a medical/health related course and live in accommodation with other students on medical/health related courses. I have found it difficult to find a boyfriend as it is difficult to meet people as I am in a flat full of girls. The accommodation consists mainly of girls so it is difficult to meet any guys - and most of the guys in our accommodation are quite young and I am attracted to guys that are older as in my opinion they are more mature. There are also not many men on my work placements that are in my age range - so it is difficult to meet men that I could potentially have a relationship with.

My friend has a boyfriend who she met on a dating site - she is 19, he is 25. He did Computer Science at university and he is really nice and mature and treats her well. He is really my type and I would ideally like to go out with somebody like him. He came round our flat the other week to see my friend but I don't see him that often. He takes my friend to gigs, they go out a lot and have had a holiday together. He's a really nice guy and I'm hoping he has a friend who is similar for me!

I want to ask her if her boyfriend has a single friend in my age range that I could go out with as I find it hard to meet guys. The thing is I don't know how to ask as I am embarrassed! How do you think I should go about this and ask her without sounding weird?

How does matchmaking in general work? Do any of you have experience with matchmaking and being set up/setting someone up? Please can you give me some advice?

Thank you for reading and your insight and advice would be very much appreciated. :smile:

Reply 1

Pwhiskers

Just ask her? She will probably enjoy playing matchmaker.

Reply 2

Sgt.Incontro

Tell her to hint to your boyfriend that you are "not so lucky" or something along those lines lol

Reply 3

HollyB92

Thanks, I will ask her. The thing is I am shy and have never had a 'proper' boyfriend. I've been on a few dates with a couple of guys but they didn't work out. I get told I'm good looking a lot by my friends and they say they're jealous of my boobs and my hourglass figure and I've been told by a couple of guys that was was 'gorgeous' before. The thing is I'm shy when it comes to guys as I've always been on courses with girls and don't get to meet a lot of guys and the opportunity for being in a relationship has never really presented itself.

Has anyone been in a matchmaking situation? If so how did it go? We're you the person set up or if you were the matchmaker how did you set the 2 people up?

Reply 4

LukeM90

If he's in computer science he probably doesnt have any friends..

Source: Personal Experience

Lol oj, Im actualy in IT I just love the stereotypes, rarely true lol.

You should just be straight with her and ask, I tried to meet a girl who was friends with my mates girlfriend before and the subtle hinting doesnt work, plus he was really reluctant to do it lol,

I find with matters of the heart its often best to jus be straight and say what you want, feel, save any ambiguities/people getting the wrong end of the stick! (i.e. dont say I want a bf like yours :tongue:

might be taken wrong lol)

Reply 5

tehFrance

Original post by HollyB92

Do any of you have experience with matchmaking and setting someone up?

Yes I do and the one piece of advice I can give is don't give details of what you are looking for then turn around say that you are looking for someone completely different despite being clear that the guy you were offered was exactly as you asked for, I say this as my friend gave me a very detailed list of requirements then I introduce her to four guys and she declines them all on the following basis; pretty boy, well built and tall, all of what she had asked for. She later went on a date with someone she met by chance, when I met him he was a lanky bastard with no personality and rather ugly, god knows what she saw in him :s-smilie:

Reply 6

DorianGrayism

It sounds like you want to go out with him. lol.

Reply 7

HollyB92

Original post by LukeM90

might be taken wrong lol)

Thanks for your advice. I'll bear that in mind when asking her lol. Maybe I'll just say what my interests are say something along the lines of that if there is a guy that her boyfriend knows that has similar interests to me, I could say that it would be nice if I got to know a guy who is similar to me. This would likely work as my friend, her boyfriend and I have fairly similar interests lol. :smile:

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 8

>Untitled<

Just ask, don't specify who/what type of person you want because that's just awkward. Just ask her? Girls love match making. Just a thought why don't you make an account fo a dating website too?

Reply 9

LukeM90

Have you met any of his friends/people he knows out of interest? just they mightent be like him at all, my group of male friends is a right pack of misfits (self included) lol

Reply 10

RadioHawk

"Dude hook me up brah?"
Maybe change the language slightly...

Reply 11

HollyB92

Original post by >Untitled<

Just ask, don't specify who/what type of person you want because that's just awkward. Just ask her? Girls love match making. Just a thought why don't you make an account fo a dating website too?

Maybe I shouldn't be too specific with the requirements having seen your post. I could just ask her if she knows any of her boyfriends friends that she thinks I may like. I made an account for a dating website but I didn't really get on with it. I prefer to meet people properly. Thank you for your advice :smile:

Reply 12

>Untitled<

Original post by HollyB92

No problem! Don't be embarrassed, I actively ask my friends who get a boyfriend/are about to get one, 'So when you gonna set me up?' haha :u:

Reply 13

boba

I wouldn't be embarrassed if she met him off a dating site she obviously doesn't have any issues with set ups and blind dates. just ask

Reply 14

tu_es_jolie_x

Just be like "you and whatever his name is need to set me up with one of his mates" ... say it in a jokey way if you think it wont be as embarrassing, but it will put the idea in her head.

Reply 15

Millie228

Just host a get together at your flat, tell her that he can come and he's welcome to bring friends too. Or suggest that you all go out together. Better to keep it casual.
Firstly because it takes the pressure off. Secondly because it sounds like you pretty much need to meet more men, and your chances are better meeting several, rather than ONE friend they both "choose" for you. What are the chances you click with that one person anyway? Most people have friends different to themselves, meaning it's not given that you'll click with a friend of his.
Widen your circle of acquaintances, join a gym, go out to bars with friends - not clubs, but bars with a slightly older clientele.

I have never been part of "matchmaking", but on a couple of occasions, my friend has brought me to a party and I realized the guy who was hosting had asked her to bring a "cute friend". I didn't go out with the host though, I ended up dating another guy from the party.