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I hate my course but my parents will kick me out if I leave?
I hate my course and I want to leave - I never wanted to study the subject in the first place. My parents forced me to apply for the subject because they know someone who works in the industry who can give me a job and the university was close by - they want to control every aspect of my life, they even demand that I return home every weekend. I know my parents won't listen to me, they never have - not once, the only opinion that gets heard is theirs. I not even allowed to hold an opinion let alone say it. It's like living in a dictatorship.
My parents want me to be in a well paying job to pay off the private school fees they spent on me.
I have 3 A grades at A-level and I'm studying a competitive course. I don't want to give too many personal details away.
My original plan was to complete the course and work in the job, save some money and do runner then change career. If I did change my course now, my parents would probably kick me out but I have no money and no friends who I can turn to. What should I do?
However, I can't stand studying the course any longer. Should I just grin and bear it?
My parents want me to be in a well paying job to pay off the private school fees they spent on me.
I have 3 A grades at A-level and I'm studying a competitive course. I don't want to give too many personal details away.
My original plan was to complete the course and work in the job, save some money and do runner then change career. If I did change my course now, my parents would probably kick me out but I have no money and no friends who I can turn to. What should I do?
However, I can't stand studying the course any longer. Should I just grin and bear it?
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Can you not change to something you do like? Your parents seem very unreasonable. Talk to them when you know what you want to do, that why they can see you feel strongly about it and have done your research. No point in wasting the next 5-10 years doing something you hate just to do what you want in the future.
What year are you in?
- First year: You get an extra year paid by student finace if you change I think, so this is your final opportunity to drop out and get full funding for a course you really want to do. I would take it. If you can get a job and find some cheap rent, or provide evidence of your estrangement, you may even have enough to move out and support yourself, though make sure you plan ahead. You get one life.
- Second year: Harder decision. Somewhere in between, but if your grades are good I would try to finish as some degree is better than none. Unless you anticipate being able to fund an extra year.
- Third year: Definitely try to finish - it's nearly the summer term. However, I suspect this isn't the case.
Certainly speak to your careers office / personal tutor, as they will have experience of this. Also research what help you can get if your parents do throw you out - do you have any relatives willing to support you through the holidays? Don't do anything rash. There are worse things than having a graduate job lined up, though I entirely sympathise and my heart says leave and do what you want.
Don't actively try to decieve your parents unless they are completely unreasonable. They may be more understanding than you think. However, if you do decide to change don't settle for another compromise that you know you will regret. Most importantly, behave like an adult. They may not be persuaded, but doing anything else will only convince them that you haven't thought it through.
I hope you find a way to make it work
- First year: You get an extra year paid by student finace if you change I think, so this is your final opportunity to drop out and get full funding for a course you really want to do. I would take it. If you can get a job and find some cheap rent, or provide evidence of your estrangement, you may even have enough to move out and support yourself, though make sure you plan ahead. You get one life.
- Second year: Harder decision. Somewhere in between, but if your grades are good I would try to finish as some degree is better than none. Unless you anticipate being able to fund an extra year.
- Third year: Definitely try to finish - it's nearly the summer term. However, I suspect this isn't the case.
Certainly speak to your careers office / personal tutor, as they will have experience of this. Also research what help you can get if your parents do throw you out - do you have any relatives willing to support you through the holidays? Don't do anything rash. There are worse things than having a graduate job lined up, though I entirely sympathise and my heart says leave and do what you want.
Don't actively try to decieve your parents unless they are completely unreasonable. They may be more understanding than you think. However, if you do decide to change don't settle for another compromise that you know you will regret. Most importantly, behave like an adult. They may not be persuaded, but doing anything else will only convince them that you haven't thought it through.
I hope you find a way to make it work
I would finish the year if your grades are good especially if it's second year as some units can transfer if your in first year just switch now as the first year grades don't transfer.
Do you dislike the place or just the course if it's the course do an internal transfer starting in September for the new course you parents don't need to know until you feel ready to tell them weather it's after you start of once you are going to graduate.
I dubt they would throw you out they brought you up and took care of you for 18 years they might be upset but throwing you out would be a bit overkill
Do you dislike the place or just the course if it's the course do an internal transfer starting in September for the new course you parents don't need to know until you feel ready to tell them weather it's after you start of once you are going to graduate.
I dubt they would throw you out they brought you up and took care of you for 18 years they might be upset but throwing you out would be a bit overkill
Original post by JamesM24
I hate my course and I want to leave - I never wanted to study the subject in the first place. My parents forced me to apply for the subject because they know someone who works in the industry who can give me a job and the university was close by - they want to control every aspect of my life, they even demand that I return home every weekend. I know my parents won't listen to me, they never have - not once, the only opinion that gets heard is theirs. I not even allowed to hold an opinion let alone say it. It's like living in a dictatorship.
My parents want me to be in a well paying job to pay off the private school fees they spent on me.
I have 3 A grades at A-level and I'm studying a competitive course. I don't want to give too many personal details away.
My original plan was to complete the course and work in the job, save some money and do runner then change career. If I did change my course now, my parents would probably kick me out but I have no money and no friends who I can turn to. What should I do?
However, I can't stand studying the course any longer. Should I just grin and bear it?
My parents want me to be in a well paying job to pay off the private school fees they spent on me.
I have 3 A grades at A-level and I'm studying a competitive course. I don't want to give too many personal details away.
My original plan was to complete the course and work in the job, save some money and do runner then change career. If I did change my course now, my parents would probably kick me out but I have no money and no friends who I can turn to. What should I do?
However, I can't stand studying the course any longer. Should I just grin and bear it?
My parents also try to control every aspect of my life, which I find downright annoying. I do feel sorry for you. If you look at it this way, if you drop out and your parents kick you out, think where will you go - can you get a maintenance loan? Live in a flat nearby? Get a part-time job? Or you follow what your parents say , complete the course - hate the work, parents don't let you have Independence, sorry it's not a bias answer.
I personally would (unfortunately) complete the course and find out the possibilities of the job and there would probably be something I like in that field.
Original post by jonathanemptage
I would finish the year if your grades are good especially if it's second year as some units can transfer if your in first year just switch now as the first year grades don't transfer.
Do you dislike the place or just the course if it's the course do an internal transfer starting in September for the new course you parents don't need to know until you feel ready to tell them weather it's after you start of once you are going to graduate.
I dubt they would throw you out they brought you up and took care of you for 18 years they might be upset but throwing you out would be a bit overkill
Do you dislike the place or just the course if it's the course do an internal transfer starting in September for the new course you parents don't need to know until you feel ready to tell them weather it's after you start of once you are going to graduate.
I dubt they would throw you out they brought you up and took care of you for 18 years they might be upset but throwing you out would be a bit overkill
My parents are monsters and I hate living with them - they've provided nothing but 18 yrs of misery. Some of my parents friends did the same thing and their kids ran away and haven't had any contact for almost 20 yrs.
Original post by Goodbye
My parents also try to control every aspect of my life, which I find downright annoying. I do feel sorry for you. If you look at it this way, if you drop out and your parents kick you out, think where will you go - can you get a maintenance loan? Live in a flat nearby? Get a part-time job? Or you follow what your parents say , complete the course - hate the work, parents don't let you have Independence, sorry it's not a bias answer.
I personally would (unfortunately) complete the course and find out the possibilities of the job and there would probably be something I like in that field.
I personally would (unfortunately) complete the course and find out the possibilities of the job and there would probably be something I like in that field.
The course is mainly vocational and guarantees only one job. Their is no scope to go in to another field at all and none of module grades can be transferred anywhere. I've got no work experience in anything, my parents won't let me get a job. How can I get a job in this economic climate? This has made me incredibly depressed - I can barely eat or think.
As controlling as your parents sound, they must care a little to want so much for you. I doubt they would actually kick you out and leave you with nowhere to go. I was forced out of my parents house by my own Mother (not kicked out, she made an unbearable living situation) but it actually turned out to be the best thing ever.
Original post by RachaelBee
As controlling as your parents sound, they must care a little to want so much for you. I doubt they would actually kick you out and leave you with nowhere to go. I was forced out of my parents house by my own Mother (not kicked out, she made an unbearable living situation) but it actually turned out to be the best thing ever.
The don't want anything for me. They want it for themselves. How did you leave home and what did you do about ? Where did you go?
Can't you get a part time job behind their back and move out?
Original post by JamesM24
The don't want anything for me. They want it for themselves. How did you leave home and what did you do about ? Where did you go?
Ah, the 'keeping up with the Jones's' type parents. I'd already lived away from home, moved back in under very unhappy circumstances and within 2hrs my Mother wanted me gone. I saw a flat for sale and saved like mad for a couple of months then made the most of a first time buyer scheme. My mother paid for my legal fees as it was my 18th birthday and my savings went on a deposit. It was hard as my Mother stole my life savings a couple of years earlier and if I'd thought about what I was doing before doing it I'd have probably panicked.
This is exactly the same as my situation, pushed into studying law even though I never wanted to do it. I even got accepted to change to english at my uni last year - my mum didn't speak to me for a week so I declined. I know it's very hard, everyone will say just do what you want but it's extremely difficult when you know your parents are going to react badly. Depending on what the degree is, I doubt you're shoehorned into that particular job, but if you really hate the course and don't want a job in it at all maybe you should change. You can always move out anyway because most students live in shared housing so that's not an issue really. Maybe explore all the options that degree would give you and see if you like one of them, it'll be easier to reject the job post-degree than it would be to break ties with your parents now while they have to do things like your student finance. It's unfortunate, I personally know, but there's not a lot you can really do 
So you enjoyed private school for 18 years then? Loved not getting your backside kicked in the school yard like if you were in a state school. Did not have to worry about the bullying from other children as much as you would have in a state school.
And now this is how you want to repay your parents??? They could have had a new car every year if it were not for you school fees. Lets see if you put your children through private school......
And now this is how you want to repay your parents??? They could have had a new car every year if it were not for you school fees. Lets see if you put your children through private school......
Original post by RachaelBee
As controlling as your parents sound, they must care a little to want so much for you. I doubt they would actually kick you out and leave you with nowhere to go. I was forced out of my parents house by my own Mother (not kicked out, she made an unbearable living situation) but it actually turned out to be the best thing ever.
were you pure as driven snow in this?
Teenagers as a section of the human population are the worst type there is. Their self centred egotistical and self serving type of living where a=everyone else is their slave and are to blame for all their problems is evident in this thread and this poster exemplifies it. In a later post this poster even indicates in the same sentence that her mother paid her legal fees and stole her money. It must have been years of torture for your helpless parents that ultimately led to them paying for you to leave their home. Its a sacrifice that many parents have to do.
Original post by hedgemonkey
were you pure as driven snow in this?
Teenagers as a section of the human population are the worst type there is. Their self centred egotistical and self serving type of living where a=everyone else is their slave and are to blame for all their problems is evident in this thread and this poster exemplifies it. In a later post this poster even indicates in the same sentence that her mother paid her legal fees and stole her money. It must have been years of torture for your helpless parents that ultimately led to them paying for you to leave their home. Its a sacrifice that many parents have to do.
Teenagers as a section of the human population are the worst type there is. Their self centred egotistical and self serving type of living where a=everyone else is their slave and are to blame for all their problems is evident in this thread and this poster exemplifies it. In a later post this poster even indicates in the same sentence that her mother paid her legal fees and stole her money. It must have been years of torture for your helpless parents that ultimately led to them paying for you to leave their home. Its a sacrifice that many parents have to do.
Me and my mother argued but I wasn't a terrible child, the legal fees were paid as my 18th birthday present and even my Mother has admitted that I was "neglected", I'm older now and we have made up somewhat but ultimately my Mother turned her back on me when I needed her most and tried to drive a wedge between me and my Father.
Original post by JamesM24
The course is mainly vocational and guarantees only one job. Their is no scope to go in to another field at all and none of module grades can be transferred anywhere. I've got no work experience in anything, my parents won't let me get a job. How can I get a job in this economic climate? This has made me incredibly depressed - I can barely eat or think.
Then change your course and move to another one.
If your parents actually care for you, they won't kick you out of the house.
Talk to them about the course you like and tell them the job possibilities.
Original post by JamesM24
The course is mainly vocational and guarantees only one job. Their is no scope to go in to another field at all and none of module grades can be transferred anywhere. I've got no work experience in anything, my parents won't let me get a job. How can I get a job in this economic climate? This has made me incredibly depressed - I can barely eat or think.
I've seen many jobs that prefer people to be qualified to a certain level, just to prove that people have the focus.
This is your life, not your parents', it's not fair
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