The Student Room Group

really awkward clubbing situation - 2guys- HELP

A few months ago I got with Guy A in a club (we are University friends). He introduced me to a University acquantaince (theyre not friends) Guy B.

Guy A fancies me a lot.

Guy B who I have become close to also fancies me.

I fancy Guy B.

We are going out tomorrow night and both of them are going and both of them want to get with me. I want to get with Guy B because I like him. But Guy A is an amazing friend and I know he will be GUTTED if he sees me with Guy B. And also because me and Guy A got together before, he seems to think its automatically going to happen again even though Ive tried to explain it was a one off thing in a club.

Any advice?

Scroll to see replies

Don't get with either of them that night?

Then ask guy B out alone another time.

It's nice you're concerned about guy A's feelings but hey, you don't fancy him, as a big boy and a true friend he'll get over it, as long as you aren't a jerk about it, lots of people don't fancy him, you;re one of them.
Reply 2
Original post by Studentus-anonymous
Don't get with either of them that night?

Then ask guy B out alone another time.

It's nice you're concerned about guy A's feelings but hey, you don't fancy him, as a big boy and a true friend he'll get over it, as long as you aren't a jerk about it, lots of people don't fancy him, you;re one of them.


yeh i know id just feel guilty
Reply 3
Don't get with people in a club.. That's my advice x


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
Reply 4
Original post by BANS2012
Don't get with people in a club.. That's my advice x


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App


well they are my friends
Reply 5
Original post by Ice-Baby
A few months ago I got with Guy A in a club (we are University friends). He introduced me to a University acquantaince (theyre not friends) Guy B.

Guy A fancies me a lot.

Guy B who I have become close to also fancies me.

I fancy Guy B.

We are going out tomorrow night and both of them are going and both of them want to get with me. I want to get with Guy B because I like him. But Guy A is an amazing friend and I know he will be GUTTED if he sees me with Guy B. And also because me and Guy A got together before, he seems to think its automatically going to happen again even though Ive tried to explain it was a one off thing in a club.

Any advice?


Get some lady nuts and stop thinking of other peoples feelings a simple case of overthinking. You have told guy A yet he has not listened. what more do you think you can do without not doing what you want!?
Reply 6
Original post by Ziggy2252
Get some lady nuts and stop thinking of other peoples feelings a simple case of overthinking. You have told guy A yet he has not listened. what more do you think you can do without not doing what you want!?


Yeh but I have flirted with both (but i have told guy A i dont want a relationship) but i know for a fact he really likes me. Apparently hes jealous me and Guy B even talk. I know he likes me a lot and ive known him a lot longer than guy B, I just dont wanna lose his friendship. But when the drinks are flowing etc I really think i might end up getting with guy B in front of him :frown:
Reply 7
Original post by Ice-Baby
Yeh but I have flirted with both (but i have told guy A i dont want a relationship) but i know for a fact he really likes me. Apparently hes jealous me and Guy B even talk. I know he likes me a lot and ive known him a lot longer than guy B, I just dont wanna lose his friendship. But when the drinks are flowing etc I really think i might end up getting with guy B in front of him :frown:


Yeah but then whats so bad about that? were all going to fancy someone and watch them with someone else, in this situation i can only suggest do what makes you happy as if you dont you will regret it. Its not like hes going to spontanously combust when he sees you he hopefully will be driven to go find someone else and get over you! if hes a real friend you wont lose him and if you do then you know he was your on the hope of getting together which as you say was not going to happen anyway.
Original post by Ice-Baby
Yeh but I have flirted with both (but i have told guy A i dont want a relationship) but i know for a fact he really likes me. Apparently hes jealous me and Guy B even talk. I know he likes me a lot and ive known him a lot longer than guy B, I just dont wanna lose his friendship. But when the drinks are flowing etc I really think i might end up getting with guy B in front of him :frown:


Stop flirting with him then..

Just treat him as you would treat a male friend who you don't fancy and don't lead him on. Tell him straight up that nothing will ever happen between the two of you and then get with guy B seeing as you actually fancy him.

I think you're feeling guilty because you still flirt with him and haven't fully allowed him to realise that it's not going to happen.
Original post by ice-baby
a few months ago i got with guy a in a club (we are university friends). He introduced me to a university acquantaince (theyre not friends) guy b.

Guy a fancies me a lot.

Guy b who i have become close to also fancies me.

I fancy guy b.

We are going out tomorrow night and both of them are going and both of them want to get with me. I want to get with guy b because i like him. But guy a is an amazing friend and i know he will be gutted if he sees me with guy b. And also because me and guy a got together before, he seems to think its automatically going to happen again even though ive tried to explain it was a one off thing in a club.

Any advice?



aa so you are one of those "classy" girls who do things with guys they don't really fancy just for a "night off"..what a classy lady you are... Now concerning your situation its simple go for guy c..aND judging FROM your post you can invite both a and B and have fun all together..i don't think they ll mind..
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by ice-baby
yeh but i have flirted with both (but i have told guy a i dont want a relationship) but i know for a fact he really likes me. Apparently hes jealous me and guy b even talk. I know he likes me a lot and ive known him a lot longer than guy b, i just dont wanna lose his friendship. But when the drinks are flowing etc i really think i might end up getting with guy b in front of him :frown:




adding to my previous comment with a response her ..they are is no friendship to be lost because simply there is no friendship between a guy and a girl {the girl might think they are friends but the guy is just there because has the hope of boning you or every other potential "friend" you gonna introduce him}..see now you know how men think...
Reply 11
Original post by almalibre11111
adding to my previous comment with a response her ..they are is no friendship to be lost because simply there is no friendship between a guy and a girl {the girl might think they are friends but the guy is just there because has the hope of boning you or every other potential "friend" you gonna introduce him}..see now you know how men think...


I think you're mixing "men" up with "wanna-be players", there's plenty of nice guys about, stop trying to prove what a "lad" you are.

OP I agree with what someone said above, I think you feel guilty 'cos you know you've lead him on a bit. Tell the poor guy you're not interested as explicitly as you can, then have some self control when you go out and don't pull either of them but ask guy b to meet up another time and maybe explain to him that you feel bad about guy a so he doesn't go bragging about meeting up with you around him or anything.
Just get with whoever you want, you told Guy A that you weren't interested so now he needs to grow a big ol' pair of cahonas and deal with it.
Reply 13
Original post by almalibre11111
adding to my previous comment with a response her ..they are is no friendship to be lost because simply there is no friendship between a guy and a girl {the girl might think they are friends but the guy is just there because has the hope of boning you or every other potential "friend" you gonna introduce him}..see now you know how men think...


actually guy A had every chance to do this and he refused. Hes genuinely lovely. Hes waiting for marriage btw.
Reply 14
Original post by 11flon
I think you're mixing "men" up with "wanna-be players", there's plenty of nice guys about, stop trying to prove what a "lad" you are.

OP I agree with what someone said above, I think you feel guilty 'cos you know you've lead him on a bit. Tell the poor guy you're not interested as explicitly as you can, then have some self control when you go out and don't pull either of them but ask guy b to meet up another time and maybe explain to him that you feel bad about guy a so he doesn't go bragging about meeting up with you around him or anything.


Yeh i do feel ive led him on but its so hard, because he will start flirting and I am so awful at rejection so i end up doing it back, which in the long run lands me in more crap like this haha
Original post by 11flon
I think you're mixing "men" up with "wanna-be players", there's plenty of nice guys about, stop trying to prove what a "lad" you are.

OP I agree with what someone said above, I think you feel guilty 'cos you know you've lead him on a bit. Tell the poor guy you're not interested as explicitly as you can, then have some self control when you go out and don't pull either of them but ask guy b to meet up another time and maybe explain to him that you feel bad about guy a so he doesn't go bragging about meeting up with you around him or anything.


im not a "lad" i respect girls and im always telling ahead what is going to happen before it actually happens..i never "trick" a girl to bed with promises or whatever... i consider myself a nice guy also but friendship with a guy and a girl can be exist only under very particular circumstances..{ex many years of knowing beforehand or sharing of certain experiences where only friends could have etc} now if you are saying that a guy in uni for ex search girls to be best mates then you are not very ok in ur mind...
Original post by Ice-Baby
actually guy A had every chance to do this and he refused. Hes genuinely lovely. Hes waiting for marriage btw.



sorry but this isnt called "genuinely lovely" it is called genuinely dumb,retard you pick..these men never end up with what they want because simply they dont have the actual balls to get it... in today's world unfortunately this is the reality ...look how is your friend now..dumped..
Reply 17
I'd leg it in that situation, don't ask me where to because I don't know. I'd just run, it works xx
dont get with either when you go out clubbing, how horrible musst that be for guy a to see the girl he fancies snogging his best friend??. Dont do it in front of him if you really cared about your friend youd have enough respect for him not to do it right in front of him thats just nasty if you do
Original post by Ice-Baby
actually guy A had every chance to do this and he refused. Hes genuinely lovely. Hes waiting for marriage btw.


Again, don't do anything on the night out, invite guy B for other meet ups without guy A, make your move.

This is a simple case of putting off immediate gratification to protect a friend from being needlessly hurt. Plus it might show guy B some class if you can keep your hands to yourself for one night. :smile:

Best of luck OP.

Quick Reply