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Is it too soon to call him my boyfriend after knowing him for only 2 weeks?
I'm 21 and female, and although I have been on dates with a few guys over the years, none had really progressed anywhere, so I've never been in a proper relationship before. But very recently I've been having a very different experience with one guy I've started getting involved with.
Basically, I'm currently on a long backpacking trip abroad, and I;ve met this other backpacker, age 24, at the pub crawl of the hostel we're both staying at. We clicked instantly, but mainly in just a friendly way (not sexual or romantic), and hung out all night, swapped numbers, and he even walked me home when I felt tired. We've ended up deciding to hang out almost everyday, whether it's just in the hostel, going to museums and galleries, walking around parks, etc, sometimes with just the two of us, and sometimes with one or two other friends.
At first I only really liked him as just a friend, but I eventually started to fancy him too after maybe about a week since meeting him, and he later on told me that he fancied me the very first time he met me. We're both quite shy with this sort of thing, me especially, but it came out when one night we'd been drinking in the hostel when a jokey conversation led to me revealing how attractive I find him, and he told me he thinks the same of me. The rest of that night was spent with us sitting with him putting his arms around me and holding my hand for the whole evening, then when we went on out way to our rooms and said goodnight, we hugged and pecked lips for the first time.
The next day after this, I had doubts that maybe it was just the drink talking, so I talked to him sober about it and he said that he meant everything he did and said that night. Then we chilled out and laid on my bed, doing nothing sexual, just listening to music on his iPod, though we did end up snogging a few times when no one was looking (it's a dorm room). Then he decided he liked my room better than his as it was quieter, and asked to sleep the whole night in my bed with me, and I agreed. We were fully clothed and still did nothing sexual, but we did put our arms around each other a lot like we were a couple. I'd never experienced that before but found it very nice and comforting. He's then been sleeping in my bed the past few nights too, and he told me it's because he likes spending time with me, and he holds my hand sometimes around the hostel.
This must be the first time in my life that I've ever had proper chemistry with someone before, and it feels so strange and new but wonderful that a guy I like finally likes me back too and I'm getting to spend all this time with him and do some of these rather intimate things, without being rushed or forced into anything sexual. He's such a gentleman and not at all sleazy, as he even asks my permission to hold my hand and stuff and stresses that he doesn't want me to do anything I don't want to do.
We've also had talks about maybe travelling together, and what the definition of our relationship really is. I couldn't really call it a fling since we haven't even done anything sexual yet, and he wouldn't wait this long to try would he, so must must like me as a person. And we're definitely clearly not just friends anymore either. We've now agreed to be exclusive, but I'm not 100% sure whether I feel comfortable yet calling him my boyfriend yet as we've literally only known each other a little over two weeks. But the past two weeks of getting to know him have been very intense, maybe moreso than the average dating couple who don't have time to see each other everyday or live in the same house. As corny as it sounds, it feels very Romeo and Juliet (as in, the way their relationship quickly progressed so much, hopefully no tragedies at the end!).
Sorry that was long but I had a lot to get out. Anyone with advice? Is 2 weeks too soon to be in a relationship with someone, and should I wait a bit longer and know him some more? Or does amount of time not really matter so much as we've gotten to know each other quite intensively anyway and it's the feelings that count more, right?
TL;DR version: Ever since I've met this guy in our hostel two weeks ago, we've hung out nearly everyday and quickly gone from just friends to acting like a couple (but not done anything sexual). But I am wondering if this is going way too quickly and should I slow down a bit or not before considering him my boyfriend? Or should I stop worrying too much about labels and rules and just go with the flow a bit more with what feels right?
Basically, I'm currently on a long backpacking trip abroad, and I;ve met this other backpacker, age 24, at the pub crawl of the hostel we're both staying at. We clicked instantly, but mainly in just a friendly way (not sexual or romantic), and hung out all night, swapped numbers, and he even walked me home when I felt tired. We've ended up deciding to hang out almost everyday, whether it's just in the hostel, going to museums and galleries, walking around parks, etc, sometimes with just the two of us, and sometimes with one or two other friends.
At first I only really liked him as just a friend, but I eventually started to fancy him too after maybe about a week since meeting him, and he later on told me that he fancied me the very first time he met me. We're both quite shy with this sort of thing, me especially, but it came out when one night we'd been drinking in the hostel when a jokey conversation led to me revealing how attractive I find him, and he told me he thinks the same of me. The rest of that night was spent with us sitting with him putting his arms around me and holding my hand for the whole evening, then when we went on out way to our rooms and said goodnight, we hugged and pecked lips for the first time.
The next day after this, I had doubts that maybe it was just the drink talking, so I talked to him sober about it and he said that he meant everything he did and said that night. Then we chilled out and laid on my bed, doing nothing sexual, just listening to music on his iPod, though we did end up snogging a few times when no one was looking (it's a dorm room). Then he decided he liked my room better than his as it was quieter, and asked to sleep the whole night in my bed with me, and I agreed. We were fully clothed and still did nothing sexual, but we did put our arms around each other a lot like we were a couple. I'd never experienced that before but found it very nice and comforting. He's then been sleeping in my bed the past few nights too, and he told me it's because he likes spending time with me, and he holds my hand sometimes around the hostel.
This must be the first time in my life that I've ever had proper chemistry with someone before, and it feels so strange and new but wonderful that a guy I like finally likes me back too and I'm getting to spend all this time with him and do some of these rather intimate things, without being rushed or forced into anything sexual. He's such a gentleman and not at all sleazy, as he even asks my permission to hold my hand and stuff and stresses that he doesn't want me to do anything I don't want to do.
We've also had talks about maybe travelling together, and what the definition of our relationship really is. I couldn't really call it a fling since we haven't even done anything sexual yet, and he wouldn't wait this long to try would he, so must must like me as a person. And we're definitely clearly not just friends anymore either. We've now agreed to be exclusive, but I'm not 100% sure whether I feel comfortable yet calling him my boyfriend yet as we've literally only known each other a little over two weeks. But the past two weeks of getting to know him have been very intense, maybe moreso than the average dating couple who don't have time to see each other everyday or live in the same house. As corny as it sounds, it feels very Romeo and Juliet (as in, the way their relationship quickly progressed so much, hopefully no tragedies at the end!).
Sorry that was long but I had a lot to get out. Anyone with advice? Is 2 weeks too soon to be in a relationship with someone, and should I wait a bit longer and know him some more? Or does amount of time not really matter so much as we've gotten to know each other quite intensively anyway and it's the feelings that count more, right?
TL;DR version: Ever since I've met this guy in our hostel two weeks ago, we've hung out nearly everyday and quickly gone from just friends to acting like a couple (but not done anything sexual). But I am wondering if this is going way too quickly and should I slow down a bit or not before considering him my boyfriend? Or should I stop worrying too much about labels and rules and just go with the flow a bit more with what feels right?
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Original post by Black Cat
Sounds like you are completely in love with him he seems like a nice guy by not taking advantage of you when he sleeps in your bed. I would say go for it see where it will take you, goodluck.
Well, I I'm not I'd say I was in love with him after so soon, but I am definitely very fond of him and would love to keep seeing him. Thanks
I meant, I wouldn't say I was in love with him after so soon.
No more replies? Darn, the big wall of text must be off-putting, eh? 
It would be nice to hear from anyone who's ever been in a similar sort of situation where they really fell for someone so quickly and how long it took to become a relationship or not and if it worked out.
But OK, thanks to you too for replying, and looks like I will just have to stop stressing and just see how things go with him in time
It would be nice to hear from anyone who's ever been in a similar sort of situation where they really fell for someone so quickly and how long it took to become a relationship or not and if it worked out.
But OK, thanks to you too for replying, and looks like I will just have to stop stressing and just see how things go with him in time
Original post by Anonymous
No more replies? Darn, the big wall of text must be off-putting, eh?
It would be nice to hear from anyone who's ever been in a similar sort of situation where they really fell for someone so quickly and how long it took to become a relationship or not and if it worked out.
But OK, thanks to you too for replying, and looks like I will just have to stop stressing and just see how things go with him in time
It would be nice to hear from anyone who's ever been in a similar sort of situation where they really fell for someone so quickly and how long it took to become a relationship or not and if it worked out.
But OK, thanks to you too for replying, and looks like I will just have to stop stressing and just see how things go with him in time
Don't stress. This guy is obviously a good one. Admittedly, I know many of us would've tried to have a fling, but he hasn't. It's obviously because he respects you and wants you to trust him.
Relationship material I say, and don't worry about all these 'boyfriend' 'girlfriend' labels , just see how it goes and decide if you want to be in a relationship with him.
With it being a backpacking holiday, are the two of you actually from anywhere near the same place? If not, then you're probably better off just having fun for now. Two weeks isn't long to know someone, and if you're spending lots of time together due to being in the same place then this is bound to progress a little faster than normal. I wouldn't call him a "boyfriend" though, but I do think that it's important to know what he wants from this, as you wouldn't want to be hurt if you're as fond of him as you say you are.
Original post by Anonymous
At first I only really liked him as just a friend, but I eventually started to fancy him too after maybe about a week since meeting him, and he later on told me that he fancied me the very first time he met me. We're both quite shy with this sort of thing, me especially, but it came out when one night we'd been drinking in the hostel when a jokey conversation led to me revealing how attractive I find him, and he told me he thinks the same of me. The rest of that night was spent with us sitting with him putting his arms around me and holding my hand for the whole evening, then when we went on out way to our rooms and said goodnight, we hugged and pecked lips for the first time.
At first I only really liked him as just a friend, but I eventually started to fancy him too after maybe about a week since meeting him, and he later on told me that he fancied me the very first time he met me. We're both quite shy with this sort of thing, me especially, but it came out when one night we'd been drinking in the hostel when a jokey conversation led to me revealing how attractive I find him, and he told me he thinks the same of me. The rest of that night was spent with us sitting with him putting his arms around me and holding my hand for the whole evening, then when we went on out way to our rooms and said goodnight, we hugged and pecked lips for the first time.
Why are girls always surprised by this 'revelation'? Guys mostly judge on looks and looks are clearly apparent from the very first meeting unlike personality therefore guys either like you or they don't from day one. Girls, if a guy says he likes you chances are he liked you from the day you first met and you friendzoned him for the next 5 years and if a guy says he doesn't like you the first time he will never like you unless you lose weight/get a boob job
where are you backpacking currently and how long for? where are you both originally from?
I had a similar story last summer.. I don't have feelings for guys often but I did like a guy I met while travelling. He was from literally the other side of the world (New Zealand) and me, the UK. So there wasnt much point, it was fun while it lasted.. bizarrely i did feel a bit "heart-broken" (not the right the word, too intense perhaps..) like id ended a much much longer relationship. If he was from the same country, Id definitely have wanted to see him again. But such is life.... Hopefully backpacking again this summer, just full of adventures in every part of your life isnt it!
I had a similar story last summer.. I don't have feelings for guys often but I did like a guy I met while travelling. He was from literally the other side of the world (New Zealand) and me, the UK. So there wasnt much point, it was fun while it lasted.. bizarrely i did feel a bit "heart-broken" (not the right the word, too intense perhaps..) like id ended a much much longer relationship. If he was from the same country, Id definitely have wanted to see him again. But such is life....
Hopefully backpacking again this summer, just full of adventures in every part of your life isnt it!Original post by Salander
I haven't read all of it, but you say you are backpacking... so when are you both going your separate ways?
If you are going off to different places next week then there isn't much point trying it categorise a relationship, just have fun.
If you are going off to different places next week then there isn't much point trying it categorise a relationship, just have fun.
We don't know when/if we'll separate, and I don't want to think too much about that. We're both quite flexible with our plans and in the short term we'll probably both stay in this city for a couple more months or so to work before moving on to travel. We discovered that we both strangely enough arrived in this country in the very same week (like fate!) and have about 10 months left to be able to stay here on our current visas. We've discussed maybe travelling together and it's something I'd be happy to do, although I had previously come up with a bit of a loose plan of travelling alone but I'm happy to keep things fully flexible
I know that holiday romances don't always last, and that it's probably wishful thinking to hope that it does, but I'd say it's not impossible, and he's the first guy I've ever met in my life to properly seem like boyfriend material for me so I can't help having a good feeling about him. But yeah, I actually think considering him a boyfriend right now is probably way too early, and that I should just at least think of it as dating or a romance for now, and like you said have fun and see how it goes
Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox
With it being a backpacking holiday, are the two of you actually from anywhere near the same place? If not, then you're probably better off just having fun for now. Two weeks isn't long to know someone, and if you're spending lots of time together due to being in the same place then this is bound to progress a little faster than normal. I wouldn't call him a "boyfriend" though, but I do think that it's important to know what he wants from this, as you wouldn't want to be hurt if you're as fond of him as you say you are.
Yeah, we're both from the UK, although our hometowns are about 440 miles apart, so going home could be tricky. If there did happen to be a future with us, I think it would still be doable to see each other back home with long train/coach rides and weekend trips, and at least it's better than being from completely different countries (well our constituent countries are different but both in the UK). I wouldn't even mind moving to his town if it came to it, since there's nothing really keeping me living in my hometown.
Oh yeah, and he said that he does like me romantically and would love to keep seeing me, and even said that he'd like this for the long run if it could be
Original post by peter12345
Why are girls always surprised by this 'revelation'? Guys mostly judge on looks and looks are clearly apparent from the very first meeting unlike personality therefore guys either like you or they don't from day one. Girls, if a guy says he likes you chances are he liked you from the day you first met and you friendzoned him for the next 5 years and if a guy says he doesn't like you the first time he will never like you unless you lose weight/get a boob job
Surely not every guy straightaway fancies a girl he first meets? But interesting post anyway. Well, we certainly didn't stay in the friend zone for very long!
Original post by tpxvs
where are you backpacking currently and how long for? where are you both originally from?
I had a similar story last summer.. I don't have feelings for guys often but I did like a guy I met while travelling. He was from literally the other side of the world (New Zealand) and me, the UK. So there wasnt much point, it was fun while it lasted.. bizarrely i did feel a bit "heart-broken" (not the right the word, too intense perhaps..) like id ended a much much longer relationship. If he was from the same country, Id definitely have wanted to see him again. But such is life.... Hopefully backpacking again this summer, just full of adventures in every part of your life isnt it!
I had a similar story last summer.. I don't have feelings for guys often but I did like a guy I met while travelling. He was from literally the other side of the world (New Zealand) and me, the UK. So there wasnt much point, it was fun while it lasted.. bizarrely i did feel a bit "heart-broken" (not the right the word, too intense perhaps..) like id ended a much much longer relationship. If he was from the same country, Id definitely have wanted to see him again. But such is life....
Hopefully backpacking again this summer, just full of adventures in every part of your life isnt it!We're backpacking in Australia and originally from the UK. Thanks for your story
Your OP made me feel all warm inside 
I'm an avid believer of quality over quantity. He seems like a really kind, lovely and genuine guy who I believe is worth calling your boyfriend. I hope you two have an amazing time and find out more about each other during your journeys
I'm an avid believer of quality over quantity. He seems like a really kind, lovely and genuine guy who I believe is worth calling your boyfriend. I hope you two have an amazing time and find out more about each other during your journeys
Nuuuung, this is adorable
Just go with it OP It's sounds so cliche but you don't always have to put labels on things!
Just go with it OP
It's sounds so cliche but you don't always have to put labels on things!This sounds amazing man , things dreams are made of . Its nice to see a couple who just love each other who haven't felt the need to rush and have sex , because their love is enough .
Original post by Anonymous
We're backpacking in Australia and originally from the UK. Thanks for your story
We're backpacking in Australia and originally from the UK. Thanks for your story
oh thats great if you're both from the UK - hope it works out!
Original post by Anonymous
Surely not every guy straightaway fancies a girl he first meets? But interesting post anyway. Well, we certainly didn't stay in the friend zone for very long!
We're backpacking in Australia and originally from the UK. Thanks for your story
We're backpacking in Australia and originally from the UK. Thanks for your story
I meant they either find you attractive or not from day one. Not fancy per se
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