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I hate my course but my parents will kick me out if I leave?

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Then change your course and move to another one.
If your parents actually care for you, they won't kick you out of the house.
Talk to them about the course you like and tell them the job possibilities.

Whenever I discuss alternative career possibilities - my parents ignore, tell me to shut up and simply tell me continue with my current course. I know it is a very different concept to grasp but they simply do not listen. My parents come from a culture where the idea of thinking for yourself is forbidden and ignoring your parents' wishes is heresy.

It's not like talking to a brick wall - it is talking to a brick wall.

Reply 21

JamesM24

Original post by tbhlucy

This is your life, not your parents', it's not fair

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My parents have repeatedly said that because they've brought me up, it's not my life to do with as I wish - I'm their property to do with as they see fit. They say they know what's best.

Reply 22

British199

Hi James, I feel for you ! I am in the same position-ish. Anyway I really wanted to quit at the start of my degree but no one would support me, they all said it will be fine next year. It is year 2 of my degree, and I hate it. I keep thinking about quitting but I only have a year left, and I can't bring my self to quit.

Your parents are really strict, especially as you are 18 I think they shouldn't be controlling you like this. There going to regret it the day you do a runner. If you can't drop out, then just complete it... Earn money and do a runner and follow your dreams :-)

Original post by JamesM24

I hate my course and I want to leave - I never wanted to study the subject in the first place. My parents forced me to apply for the subject because they know someone who works in the industry who can give me a job and the university was close by - they want to control every aspect of my life, they even demand that I return home every weekend. I know my parents won't listen to me, they never have - not once, the only opinion that gets heard is theirs. I not even allowed to hold an opinion let alone say it. It's like living in a dictatorship.

My parents want me to be in a well paying job to pay off the private school fees they spent on me.

I have 3 A grades at A-level and I'm studying a competitive course. I don't want to give too many personal details away.

My original plan was to complete the course and work in the job, save some money and do runner then change career. If I did change my course now, my parents would probably kick me out but I have no money and no friends who I can turn to. What should I do?

However, I can't stand studying the course any longer. Should I just grin and bear it?

Reply 23

TaylorGang_4

Original post by JamesM24

My parents have repeatedly said that because they've brought me up, it's not my life to do with as I wish - I'm their property to do with as they see fit. They say they know what's best.

That is the most selfish thing I have ever heard, poor guy. Right, tell them that they either respect your decision, or you make the decision to leave without contact. That may change their view.

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Reply 24

malteser87

Original post by hedgemonkey

So you enjoyed private school for 18 years then? Loved not getting your backside kicked in the school yard like if you were in a state school. Did not have to worry about the bullying from other children as much as you would have in a state school.

And now this is how you want to repay your parents??? They could have had a new car every year if it were not for you school fees. Lets see if you put your children through private school......

No school is more susceptible to bullying than another. I've heard of horrific bullying cases in privates and it's harder to do anything because their parents pay so much to the school.

Reply 25

malteser87

Original post by JamesM24

My parents have repeatedly said that because they've brought me up, it's not my life to do with as I wish - I'm their property to do with as they see fit. They say they know what's best.

Hmm tell them if they wanted property they should have bought a pet. Refuse & tbh if they're so bad you're better off by yourself anyway. What is it you really want to do?

Reply 26

JamesM24

I honestly don't know what I want to do. I've never had the opportunity to think for myself because of the cloud of negativity placed over me by my parents. I suppose I want to study something in science because it was always my favourite subject at school and something which I have a real interest in.

Reply 27

CelticSymphony67

It's your life pal. Remember that funding wise, you get 3+1 Years funding, so if you dump this course, you are still entitled to three years HE funding. Your Parents sound like a pair of Bullies and Snobs. You should go to University and do the course which you have passion for. As for you're parents, it is time you man up a wee bit and tell them that it is your life and you are in charge of your own destiny. Also pal, if your do dump this course and you want to do another subject, I strongly recommend that you choose a University away from home, so you can live in halls, perhaps get a PT job as well, so you don't have to go back to that awful environment. Good Luck.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 28

heirloom

I think you are going to have to just put up with it till you have finished the degree. Afterwards get a job and save like crazy then leave. If you stopped the course now I can imagine your parents would cut you off and it could be very hard for you to cope. I feel for you, it must be very hard for you not having supportive parents. Plus I don't really get why they would be against a science degree.

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Reply 29

ivy45

Original post by JamesM24

All you've written clearly shows that the situation is irredeemable - given how much you dislike the course, you wouldn't be able to be happy and excel in that field anyway so career-wise it would make sense for you to quit now, trying to change career later will be so much harder. With regard to your parents and moving out - moving out will be scary and tough, but to me it sounds as if you're suffocating at home, leaving will be the best for you and your parents - you will be able to grow as a person, they will learn to live their own lives and not live through you (it seems as if they're projecting their dreams etc. unto you), and perhaps one day they will regret their actions... If nothing more you'll be healthier mentally... Not being able to eat or sleep is very serious.

In short, move out, somewhere far away, and go study a science, work to sustain yourself and gain some life experience

It'll be hard and crushing to have no contact with your parents, but there are plenty of people out there and I'm sure you'll make good friends :smile:

Reply 30

Goodbye

Original post by JamesM24

OKay then, let's look on the bright side of things, how long is your course? How much years are remaining?
Btw listen to On my way by Charlie Brown it cheers me up when I'm feeling down

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 31

Richard Jena

Just go to the University act like your on board with your parents and then change courses when you get there underneath the radar. But you better pass.

Reply 32

nespix

Original post by JamesM24

I'm guessing asian and law or medicine? I've seen your situation too many times to count and my advice would be to rebel against them. Explain that It'll be more damaging to their 'honour' if you left them and never came back than if you did a course in another equally respectable subject. In my experience its the ones who do what they want (as they long as they dont go off the rails) who do well in life and the ones who follow their parents get trapped in their ways. Feel really bad for you, must be very hard :frown:

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Reply 33

Patel3000

well as long as you pay off your private school fees, and get a well paid job thats respectable, any reasonble person should be fine with that,
saying that parents arn't very reasonable, and they will initially will be disappionted as to be expected, but if you pay them back and have a deccent carrer pathway they will be proud of you, secretly of course :smile:

Reply 34

Patel3000

Also make sure you want to do want you want to do if you know what i mean, it would be silly not to be 100% sure what course and carrer you want before going though with this

Reply 35

Miss G

Original post by Patel3000

I don't understand why he should be paying his parents anything. It was their choice to put him through private school, for whatever reason. You won't pay your parents back for all the clothes they bought you, or the textbooks or whatever.

Reply 36

username616640

If you're in the first year of uni, you should definitely consider switching! ...because if you end up getting a job in this subject area, you'll probably regret it for the rest of your life! do something you enjoy!

Reply 37

airyhead

Original post by Miss G

I agree with this, and no child should ever be made to feel like they owe their parents anything! I would never cast up anything to my children, it was my choice to have them and my duty to do my best for them. Shame that not all parents feel this way though.

I really feel for you, yes of course your parents want you to do well and have a great career but not to the extent of your happiness :frown:

If it was me, I would leave.

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Reply 38

Patel3000

well my parents kinda do, and i feel i should be able to pay them back for what they have done for me not though a sense of finacial guilt but because they have brought me up quite well, i mean they wouldn't win parents of they year their family

think about what our parents have done for us, and how devestated they would be if you ran away, come clean and work this out.

Reply 39

jonathanemptage

Original post by JamesM24

My parents have repeatedly said that because they've brought me up, it's not my life to do with as I wish - I'm their property to do with as they see fit. They say they know what's best.

That's bull**** I hate to say it but it probably would be the best thing in the world if they kicked you out they sound terrible. ( I know that's not what you want to hear but it's true).

The way I see it there are three things you need to do.

1) Change your course if you enjoy it you will do much better and actually enjoy life.

2) Go and speak to the SU and student services situations like this is where they come in to their own and they will help you also chat to your tutor he should also give you some advice and support.

3) Tell your parents what you are doing and they can support you or not
but don't let them persuade you otherwise you never know they may grow up and relise although your not doing what they want they din't want to lose you.