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My friend wanted to have gay sex with me?

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Original post by Little Wolf Taima
Ok who is doing the asking? And he accused YOU of being gay, correct?

Unless you have some moral or religious objection to homosexuality I fail to see what the big deal is. Grow up lol. But you were mature enough not to usually mind sharing bed as bros. A guy who freaks out about being accused of being gay usually scrams 'INSECURITY'!

If he totally forgot about it it might have just been the alcohol talking, or he was indeed just kidding around with you. The problem with men is you probably didn't take not of signals like his subtle facial expressions or body language other than the arm-going-around-the-waist-part so you can't tell as well if he was actually into you in that moment or not @_@

I'd talk to him about it, but don't make it all a big deal or serious. Just get him alone and say 'Hey, about the other night' and follow on from their. If he confesses he likes you or moves in for a kiss (you haven't actually said if you have a problem with this or not, just seem to be asking how a straight guy 'should' react) well, why not?

Have a little fun if you're both up for for it. You don't have to be a serious thing or anything. You could just do it the once (or a couple times) and find girlfriends and carry on like normal. Personally I think a boy who likes boys is a bonus...

(Note: Seeing as guys don't seem to mind sharing masturbation material, or talking about jerking off in front of eachother... or even actually doing it in front of eachother, I don't see what the big fuss about being perceived as gay is all about...)

And the above poster is right, he might just be curious and you as the trusted friend seem a good candidate to share a first experience like that with. Take it as a compliment lol


WTFFFFF . If the OP is not gay why are you saying he should have a little fun ? Honestly do you have no standards ?If your freinds with a mate for a long time and he suddenly asks if you want to have sex , your going to **** up things for ever . Don't generalize please , there is no way I would jerk off infront of my friends and I certainly wouldn't have sex , I don't know what kind of dudes you know but they sound like freaks. I cant believe your saying he should have sex with a freind for fun , honestly:facepalm: if hes NOT gay then why on earth would you bother anyway . Thats like denying your own values , for no benefit . Some people have dignity you know ?
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Dragonfly07
Well 10% of the population IS gay, so chances are...



I'd be very surprised if that figure was accurate?
Original post by SillyRodent
Well thats the complete opposite to what I've experienced in high school, its normally pretty obvious.


This is one of the silliest things I have read in a long time. I know gay guys who are "butch" and I know straight guys who are extremely "camp" and don't care what people think.

OP I understand why you feel uncomfortable, however so many of my friends have complained about getting mixed signals off people of the same sex. If you're straight then the odds are the person you are chasing will be straight but when the odds are against you it's harder to read people. He tried something small such as putting his arm around you and when you didn't react (nothing wrong with that by the way) he might have read that as you being ok with it rather than you thinking he was joking.
Reply 23
Original post by Dr Pesto
A gay horse?


Well if you can have gay dogs and gay goats i don't see why you can't have gay horses :wink:
Original post by RachaelBee
This is one of the silliest things I have read in a long time. I know gay guys who are "butch" and I know straight guys who are extremely "camp" and don't care what people think.
.


Hah how can my own experience be silly? It would be silly for me to say that every homosexual is effeminate, hangs around with girls and watches Glee, which is not what I've said. But I think in high school, where you are seeing people 5 days a week, you are having tons of conversations and you are starting to form relationships with girls that it becomes a bit more obvious.

I'm not going to be Mr PC and act like thats not the case.

And besides my original enquiry was related to the fact that this guy is his 'friend'. Someone I would imagine he knows pretty well. And I wasn't expecting him to go, 'hang on he did come in on none-uniform day wearing pink spandex that one time'.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by SillyRodent
Hah how can my own experience be silly? It would be silly for me to say that every homosexual is effeminate, hangs around with girls and watches Glee, which is not what I've said. But I think in high school, where you are seeing people 5 days a week, you are having tons of conversations and you are starting to form relationships with girls that it becomes a bit more obvious.

I'm not going to be Mr PC and act like thats not the case.

And besides my original enquiry was related to the fact that this guy is his 'friend'. Someone I would imagine he knows pretty well.


You could just not realise that others are gay, some may not have even made up their own minds about their sexuality yet.
Original post by SillyRodent
This post hurts my head a bit, maybe I haven't been awake long enough. I didn't find out anyone was gay by their behaviour, but when they did come out it was no surprise to me or anyone else as it had already been assumed as a result of their behaviour. It sounds plausible that there would have been people who went through high school without anyone noticing but I can only speak for people I knew reasonably well and no-one came out and shocked people. It was already known if they were.

I think there would have to be something strange in the water for 10% of the boys in my school to be gay.


Oookay well don't want to freak you out but about 25% of my class are homosexual/bisexual. Some of us decided to keep a count and do not say its rumours about the 25%: if you could see it you would know it was true.
Reply 27
Woha, sound's like the thing that usually happens between man and woman. They are friends, but then one makes a move and everyting is destroyed.
your mate is gay
Original post by PricklyPorcupine
Oookay well don't want to freak you out but about 25% of my class are homosexual/bisexual. Some of us decided to keep a count and do not say its rumours about the 25%: if you could see it you would know it was true.


Haha that wouldn't freak me out at all but thanks for the information. I shall file it away for my upcoming project on discerning how many people are gay.
Original post by SillyRodent

I think there would have to be something strange in the water for 10% of the boys in my school to be gay.


It is estimated that 10% of the population is gay - therefore it stands to reason that something like 10% of the guys in your school are gay.
Reply 31
Original post by SillyRodent
Does he seem like he might be gay? In everyday life I mean.

No, he acts like a lad. He always tries it on with women and moans about how his life is.


Original post by Aries1992
Sounds like he wanted some. Why don't you just ask him "what was last night about?"


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

I said it as a joke but I don't think he remembers.

Original post by Little Wolf Taima
Ok who is doing the asking? And he accused YOU of being gay, correct?

Unless you have some moral or religious objection to homosexuality I fail to see what the big deal is. Grow up lol. But you were mature enough not to usually mind sharing bed as bros. A guy who freaks out about being accused of being gay usually scrams 'INSECURITY'!

If he totally forgot about it it might have just been the alcohol talking, or he was indeed just kidding around with you. The problem with men is you probably didn't take not of signals like his subtle facial expressions or body language other than the arm-going-around-the-waist-part so you can't tell as well if he was actually into you in that moment or not @_@

I'd talk to him about it, but don't make it all a big deal or serious. Just get him alone and say 'Hey, about the other night' and follow on from their. If he confesses he likes you or moves in for a kiss (you haven't actually said if you have a problem with this or not, just seem to be asking how a straight guy 'should' react) well, why not?

Have a little fun if you're both up for for it. You don't have to be a serious thing or anything. You could just do it the once (or a couple times) and find girlfriends and carry on like normal. Personally I think a boy who likes boys is a bonus...

(Note: Seeing as guys don't seem to mind sharing masturbation material, or talking about jerking off in front of eachother... or even actually doing it in front of eachother, I don't see what the big fuss about being perceived as gay is all about...)

And the above poster is right, he might just be curious and you as the trusted friend seem a good candidate to share a first experience like that with. Take it as a compliment lol


Me and another man will never happen because I am not gay. I do not intend to have a "first experience" with a man because it doesn't turn me on. Even if I was gay, he wouldn't be my choice as without trying to sound big headed, he's not exactly the best looking of men.. So trying to convince me to have a relationship with a man is not going to happen. I have nothing against gay people, I have numerous friends I know are gay. I wasn't insecure either but having someone touch you and saying they wanna **** you up the arse is not exactly making me feel comfortable either!
Original post by Jaegon Targaryen
WTFFFFF . If the OP is not gay why are you saying he should have a little fun ? Honestly do you have no standards ?If your freinds with a mate for a long time and he suddenly asks if you want to have sex , your going to **** up things for ever . Don't generalize please , there is no way I would jerk off infront of my friends and I certainly wouldn't have sex , I don't know what kind of dudes you know but they sound like freaks. I cant believe your saying he should have sex with a freind for fun , honestly:facepalm: if hes NOT gay then why on earth would you bother anyway . Thats like denying your own values , for no benefit . Some people have dignity you know ?


Oh calm down.

Yes, that is a generalization and you are not personally included in that, in the same way I am not offended when someone says most women are lazy/bitchy/golddiggers and the things like that I hear every day.

As a general rule it is more socially acceptable for men to be sexually charged/adventurous/have more sexual partners/to engage in casual sex. Also practices such as circlejerking are kind of unseen with women :/ There is far greater stigma attached to women speaking of sexual things. The double standard has existed for thousands of years. Just saying.

I also said that if he has no moral or religious objection then to go for it. Experimentation is normal. It's better to be a trusted friend with mutual care and respect than some random person off the street. Now, one-night-stands are the work of someone with no standards @_@

How does he know he's not gay? Either they'll stop because they don't like it or carry on and have fun with it. Sexuality does not equate to values. If he is straight ( he has not made it clear whether he is open to this or not) it may not necessarily be 'going against his values' to give it a shot.

It doesn't have to ruin their friendship. Romantic feelings can ruin a friendship if the other person moves on and you're jealous or there is an issue with avoiding cheating. If they're just having a little fun then they could stop or start whenever they choose.

Not all men are so public or loose about their sexuality, some women are heartless horndogs. There is always a rule and an exception to it... I thought that goes without saying, hun x
Original post by SillyRodent
Well maybe, like I said in my previous post I can only speak for people I knew reasonably well. But if someone is your 'friend' and you've had tons of conversations with them, known them for a while and gone on nights out with them you would expect to have a better idea.


One of my best friends was completely surprised when I came out as gay.
Original post by SebMurphy
It is estimated that 10% of the population is gay - therefore it stands to reason that something like 10% of the guys in your school are gay.


http://www.exodusglobalalliance.org/is--of-the-population-really-gay-p1647.php
Case 1: He is gay and thought he could get laid. Tried to hit on you, you rejected him, he covered it up by saying he was tryna see if YOU were gay? Bull**** excuse.

Case 2: He was just drunk and horny. Too embarrassed and doesn't want to bring it up.

Case 3: He might have thought you were gay?? And was testing you? Which is a stupid and disrespectful way to do so.

I am leaning towards the first and second.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by restoration
One of my best friends was completely surprised when I came out as gay.


Yep well of course this happens it would be ludicrous for me to say otherwise.
Original post by Anonymous
No, he acts like a lad. He always tries it on with women and moans about how his life is.



I said it as a joke but I don't think he remembers.



Me and another man will never happen because I am not gay. I do not intend to have a "first experience" with a man because it doesn't turn me on. Even if I was gay, he wouldn't be my choice as without trying to sound big headed, he's not exactly the best looking of men.. So trying to convince me to have a relationship with a man is not going to happen. I have nothing against gay people, I have numerous friends I know are gay. I wasn't insecure either but having someone touch you and saying they wanna **** you up the arse is not exactly making me feel comfortable either!


Ok, there has been miscommunication. I'm sorry.

I'm not trying to convince you, biscuit XP You do whatever you feel comfortable with.

Ok, so I had to draw a few risky conclusions from your post as it was pretty vague. I don't know you very well or your friend. People are complex with different attitudes and natures...

I understand you feeling uncomfortable (abuse victim here), but he put it a bit more tentatively than that lol Plus he actually asked... some people aren't that lucky...

But it seems you need to have a good talk with him and find out what's going on in his head. You're not mad or anything but absolutely NO WAY could anything happen between you two.

Maybe he isn't actually attracted to women and therefore doesn't try hard, or maybe he's just trying to explore other options. Perhaps it was all a pissed up joke! I guess you won't know 'til you talk to him and whoever he has sex with I hope he's doing it safe and with a person he trusts, not finding some random Bear to sate his curiosity. Gay sex is more on the risky side, often 0_o

I wish the two of you the very best of luck and hope this all gets straightened out ok xxx
Reply 38
Original post by blueberryyums
Case 1: He is gay and thought he could get laid. Tried to hit on you, you rejected him, he covered it up by saying he was tryna see if YOU were gay? Bullsh*t excuse.

Case 2: He was just drunk and horny. Too embarrassed and doesn't want to bring it up.

Case 3: He might have thought you were gay?? And was testing you? Which is a stupid and disrespectful way to do so.

I am leaning towards the first and second.


Case 4: He was just teasing the OP (I think).

But OP; if you're not gay, then why the worry? It's not like you're going to have sex with him anytime soon.
Original post by Little Wolf Taima
.

I also said that if he has no moral or religious objection then to go for it. Experimentation is normal. It's better to be a trusted friend with mutual care and respect than some random person off the street. Now, one-night-stands are the work of someone with no standards @_@

How does he know he's not gay? Either they'll stop because they don't like it or carry on and have fun with it. Sexuality does not equate to values. If he is straight ( he has not made it clear whether he is open to this or not) it may not necessarily be 'going against his values' to give it a shot.


"Experimentation is normal" What do you think this is , an American teenage movie ? If your a heterosexual lad , and your mates with a dude for a long time ****ing him is out of the question fullstop . There are some things you just don't do . Its hard to explain this to someone who obviously has little ... yeah let me just stop there .

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