The Student Room Group

Do you think marriage makes a difference?

Scroll to see replies

I think it's personal. Emotionally some people will think it makes a difference, some will think its back to the norm after marriage.
Legally, it does make a difference. If you forgot to make a will and you weren't married, your partner wouldn't be entitled to anything, for example.

But it is personal choice :smile:


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Pigling
X


I am going to get married. I'm not bothered about the ceremony business, even though it will be nice, it's the aftermath that's important. I also feel that the more hype that goes into that one day, the bigger the anticlimax when you go back to real life the next day.

I am going to get married because my boyfriend cares about it and I am not against it. I care about him so that is enough reason for me to do it.

It'd be nice if it didn't cost quite so much too!

The reason I don't think being married will change anything for me is because we already live together, we have our finances consolidated and basically everything except the rings sorted. :P

The only thing we haven't done is bought a house or had children. The house will come when I graduate because whilst I'm still studying, the freedom of renting is appealing.


Posted from TSR Mobile
It makes no difference being married in the UK. Because of two reasons:

1. There are no Tax benefits.
2. Once you live with your partner for twelve months, under English Law, you are Common Law Husband and Wife. So if you split up as Common Law Husband and Wife, you would still have to split joint assets 50-50.
i never wanna get married
Original post by Yidette

I'm not fussed, but if it matters to him, I'll do it.


This this this! But whenever I've said that people either think I'm a heartless bitch or not mature enough to take marriage seriously and therefore too immature to actually marry.

Except my Mum who agrees with me.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by CelticSymphony67
It makes no difference being married in the UK. Because of two reasons:

1. There are no Tax benefits.
2. Once you live with your partner for twelve months, under English Law, you are Common Law Husband and Wife. So if you split up as Common Law Husband and Wife, you would still have to split joint assets 50-50.


I believed that to be true, after 5 years though. However I discovered that it is not in fact true. Or at least in Scotland it is not the case so I presumed that would be the case for here too.

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/scotland/relationships_s/relationships_living_together_marriage_and_civil_partnership_s/living_together_and_marriage_legal_differences_scotland.htm



Posted from TSR Mobile
Not sure how it rolls in Scotland, because the laws on Marriage and Divorce are different in Scotland as to England. The reason I have commented on this thread is because I have been through it when I divorced my ex-wife, and when I split up with a girlfriend I lived with for two years. I actually found the divorce less painful, as we wrote things down before we got married, even though a pre-nup has no legal standing in the UK. My ex-partner however, was a pain in the arse. Now I'm just happy to be single and live on my own.
Original post by CelticSymphony67
Not sure how it rolls in Scotland, because the laws on Marriage and Divorce are different in Scotland as to England. The reason I have commented on this thread is because I have been through it when I divorced my ex-wife, and when I split up with a girlfriend I lived with for two years. I actually found the divorce less painful, as we wrote things down before we got married, even though a pre-nup has no legal standing in the UK. My ex-partner however, was a pain in the arse. Now I'm just happy to be single and live on my own.


Ah fair enough. I'd heard a lot of different stuff so to be honest I didn't know what was correct! I will believe you though since you've had personal experience.

In that case, it's already a common law marriage because we have lived together for longer than that.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Beckyweck
They got together when in freshers at uni, so they were 18. I came along a year later and when they graduated they hadn't got much money and had a house and bills and a baby to spend money on. Then when I was 4 my brother came along so they just had a lot of things to spend money on that were immediate and pressing so the wedding got shunted back and back.

By the time they could afford it comfortably they'd been together over a decade and didn't feel that it was that necessary anymore. They'd rather spend their money on other stuff!

Also, my Mum is really self conscious and shy and hates to be the centre of attention so a wedding would probably be pretty terrible for her. She skived her graduation ceremony at uni because there would be photos and too many people!


Did they not realise the legal ramifications of this? Why didn't they go down to a registry office, and then in the future have a marriage celebration?


Original post by Yidette
Um, your statements of fact about 'simple British law' are inaccurate as it now makes virtually no difference whether your parents are married or not, provided that your father is named in the birth certificate. Nobody even uses the term 'bastard' as anything other than an insult anymore. Of course, none of this affects the condescending tone of your posts, which is what I think the other guy is reacting to more than anything. Tone it down, don't be a TSR stereotype.

I think marriage is rhetorical at best, pointless at worst. It sounds nice, and we've all been brought up assuming that it is going to happen to everybody at some point - like chicken pox. However I think as time goes on we're realising that it's an outdated social structure and money-making exercise, justified as being a pre-requisite to functional family life.

There's nothing marriage gives you that a stable cohabiting relationship doesn't, objectively speaking, although whether you want to MAKE something out of it is everyone's choice. I basically don't care about getting married for its own sake; however, I WOULD wonder why the guy hadn't asked, particularly if he shares the cultural views that are considered normal, where we still err on the side of obligation.

I'm not fussed, but if it matters to him, I'll do it.


:facepalm:
Oh, but it makes a huge difference and can cause wills to be contested over legally and the term is.has to be used in court. Why are you commenting on something you clearly don't know anything about? :confused: You could have at least googled it before posting.
Original post by Beckyweck
Ah fair enough. I'd heard a lot of different stuff so to be honest I didn't know what was correct! I will believe you though since you've had personal experience.

In that case, it's already a common law marriage because we have lived together for longer than that.


Posted from TSR Mobile

There is a way around the problem of common law splits. If for example, you're boyfriend moved into your house, make sure that he does not pay a penny for the mortgage. If he does not pay for it, he does not have a claim for it, whether youse split up after being together for 12 months or 12 years. If however, he starts to pay half the mortgage and the like, then in the event of a split, you could have serious problems. Best thing to do, even though it is unromantic, is to draw up an agreement where he will pay you rent to live there, that will protect you're assets in a common law marriage split.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Jimbo1234
Did they not realise the legal ramifications of this? Why didn't they go down to a registry office, and then in the future have a marriage celebration?.


I don't know, I was a baby so it's not like I remember it. And since they didn't split up it's a bit of a non issue now. Neither of them have parental rights over me now because I'm an adult.

It could have gone drastically wrong for them, I am well aware. They defied the odds of teenage couples but since they did it's alright isn't it. :biggrin:


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by sevchenko
religious or not marriage is important, it provides what a family needs the most and that's security and stability. I'm Sickened by how many divorces there are in today's society


How do you avoid divorce?

.... Avoid marriage...


Posted from TSR Mobile
I don't know about anybody else, but I would love to be at a gathering or something and be able to say 'oh yes, that's my husband over there' and finish off the sentence in my head with 'I'm going to spend forever with him.'


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
Original post by Beckyweck
I don't know, I was a baby so it's not like I remember it. And since they didn't split up it's a bit of a non issue now. Neither of them have parental rights over me now because I'm an adult.

It could have gone drastically wrong for them, I am well aware. They defied the odds of teenage couples but since they did it's alright isn't it. :biggrin:


Well lets hope one doesn't marry someone else otherwise when it comes to the Will then there will be an issue :redface:
Reply 54
Original post by Anna.Karenina
I don't know about anybody else, but I would love to be at a gathering or something and be able to say 'oh yes, that's my husband over there' and finish off the sentence in my head with 'I'm going to spend forever with him.'


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Agree, personally I think there is something wholesome about a marriage that is sustained..
Why does the state love to stick their dirty fat noses in everyone's business?
Reply 56
Original post by Spontogical
Why does the state love to stick their dirty fat noses in everyone's business?

In reality some people choose to go for a state endorsed institution.
Original post by Jimbo1234
Well lets hope one doesn't marry someone else otherwise when it comes to the Will then there will be an issue :redface:


Wouldn't that be the case whether they had been married or not? If they're gonna go off with someone else they'd have to get divorced and that would still complicate things.


Posted from TSR Mobile
I detest the idea of having to 'prove' your commitment to each other through the signing of a piece of paper. Saying that, I'm a romantic and will probs end up getting married!
Reply 59
Original post by LoopyLinguist
I detest the idea of having to 'prove' your commitment to each other through the signing of a piece of paper. Saying that, I'm a romantic and will probs end up getting married!

Noone ever looks at the bit of paper again. It is the commitment which counts.
(edited 11 years ago)

Quick Reply

Latest