Girl refuses to talk to me for almost a year for no apparent reason

I wouldn't waste my time with her. She seems set in her ways that you've done something, and if she ain't got the decency yo tell you what then..... #Swerveee

Posted from TSR Mobile

I think this is what guys complain about with women.

Rather then telling him that it isnt going to happen, this girl strung him.

OP I have been there before - its ****. You waste all that time validating her ego only to get nothing worthwhile back.

I feel bad for you OP, but if you want some serious advice... leave it. She sounds like your typical OTT attention seeker. If she doesn't have the class to confront you, and chooses to act like a stroppy child, leave her to it. You're better than that.

This happened to me on my first ever real crush. It changed my life. Its character building if anything.

Just stopped treating girls like demi-gods and spoke to them in a very nonchalant manner. I also stopped coming across as so desperate and I prioritized having fun and my friends more than trying to get a girl. Once I started being happy and enjoying life the girls came to me. This was around 9 years ago and I've not changed ever since.

You sure she didn't develop feelings too and is using the 'you know what you did' to give an excuse?

Just stopped treating girls like demi-gods and spoke to them in a very nonchalant manner. I also stopped coming across as so desperate and I prioritized having fun and my friends more than trying to get a girl. Once I started being happy and enjoying life the girls came to me. This was around 9 years ago and I've not changed ever since.

You're talking about last June - so presumably she's now at uni. I don't tweet but perhaps she had to follow you long enough to block you or maybe she was curious about what you were up to now but is still annoyed with you.

You could have asked a mutual friend if they knew what the problem was, you could have written to her saying you really didn't know what you did but you're sorry you upset her.

She's presumably at uni now and making other friends, best to move on.

OP delete her from your life; facebook, number etc and move on.

I have had to do this with every girl I have been in this type of situation with, and it has always turned out for the best every single time.

More to the point. By dping this, as time goes on, you may find 1 or two things will happen; she will contact you (genearally always happens with me/I ignore them) and you will realise that life goes on without the girl. So in future - you wouldn't be so clingy. And by that point, probably cant be bothered to talk to her anyway.

Good advice above.

Forget her OP, not easy, but do it, and don't make an effort to get back in touch.

As the Manc put it, character-building.

Basically it's like you've been taking drugs and you've suddenly gone cold turkey on them so your mind is a bit upset.
Don't worry about it next time try not to get close to someone over the internet
Firstly you made the mistake of getting to know someone of the internet and this can normally happen .
When i was young and naive i too made this mistake and when the person didn't contact me i got worried :'(.
The only thing you can do is to indulge your self in some other activities to keep your mind of her.

listen OP, i know its hard, but you just need to forget about her, move on, its done. You said it yourself, you tried finding out, you asked her father, and even made a 2nd twitter account. I mean what else are you gonna do? keep suffering like this everday and waste the days thinking about her when she's already moving on? dont be stupid, be smart. There are other girls out there. Keep your head up.

Sounds like this internet girl made her decision?

It sucks but let it go and move on, make new friends.

You haven't done anything wrong, she isn't even going to hear you out so what can you do? Nothing.

Plus it sounds like a waste of energy to be worrying about one girl you don't know very well outside of Facebook/a game.

People come and go, you'll be fine.

Character building.

this is a strange situation indeed, if you haven't actually done anything wrong, and i mean anything, then it is possible that someone has lied to her, possibly a boyfriend, or ex boyfriend, i don't want to stir but it would be good to get to the bottom of this just to preserve a friendship

This.

Chances are 1-2 years from now OP, you will look back at this girl and think nothing of her. Happens with guys too.

You will find that different people will come in and out of your life in waves.

'what have i done wrong'
'you know what you've done wrong'

why do people believe they'll fix problems saying that???

Oooo DRAAAA-MAAAAAA!

(Really though dunno if the anon above is legit at all but heyho there's your answer, OP?)

Okay so I am actually the girl that being talked about here... I guess everyone deserves closure
I knew you had feelings for me and it freaked me out. You know I went through a really hard time with my ex and I getting close to anyone else again freaked me out, and I didn't like you in that way.. I didn't know how to handle the situation and I kinda ended up treating you how my ex treated me. All I wanted was a friend and when I knew you had feelings for me I just couldn't handle that.

A few days ago I went onto your twitter as you had been messaging me in an attempt to find a way to make my privacy settings higher, I didn't intentionally follow you.

My ex did mess me up a lot with what he did and I did end up seeing a lot of psychologists this year and turns out I have borderline personality disorder. That doesn't justify what I did but I thought that may shed some light on my behaviour.

Yes it was extremely unfair and I shouldn't expect you to understand why I did what I did, but I don't think I can change. However I really don't want to be the same cruel person my ex-boyfriend was because you were a really good friend to me and you deserved to know why I did everything.

I can confirm I am the girl he is talking about and I think if he read that he would know it was me. I would put more information (such as his friends names, where we went for my birthday ect...) but living with my mental illness is hard enough without other people knowing I have one.
If he doesn't already believe it is me then it was when we hugged at the station on my birthday I freaked out...

For those wondering, this anon is legit.

I accept that your actions haven't necessarily been completely your fault, but based on what I've seen, your inhibitions about getting too close with guys in the last 6 months seem to have diminished (the polite version), so why have you not told me all this sooner? Were you scared about hurting me? I'm not an idiot, if you would have said this earlier I would have realised (though maybe not straight away) that you did what you thought was the best thing to do based on the situation. I understand it's difficult when the person who you don't like starts liking you but surely being a part of this forum has shown you that cutting off communications is not the right way to go about things?

I suppose the next logical step is to assess where we go from here. Telling me that you don't like me in that way enables me to let go of my feelings for you. Sure, I'll be sad but it won't last for long. If it wasn't for mistakes we wouldn't be able to learn, so the ball is now in your court. If you want back that "really good friend" that you so wanted then my hand of friendship is extended to you, as it has always been. I'm not the last good guy you'll ever meet, but you'll struggle to find one post-university that will put up with something like this.

You're at a fork in the road where on one side is a friend for life, and the other is significantly darker. I know which one I would pick.





EDIT:
If I could I'd plus-rate all of you guys' positive posts I would but the TSR Gods forbid me to like them all! I really do appreciate your love and support. Rest assured, I'll return tomorrow!

I don't understand what you mean about my actions in the last six months? I'd appreciate if you explained what you meant by that

I did appreciate your friendship, and I think we do need to have a serious talk... and I should probably explain everything that happened to me that I should have told you a long time ago... I think you'd probably understand better.

Also thank you for not saying anything too personal on here and you really didn't have to talk so kindly of me... I wouldn't have, and I guess seeing something about me on TSR made me realise the gravity of what I had done.

I'll tell you in private




I would very much like that. I enjoyed talking to you, and it was definitely a huge hole when you stopped altogether.

No worries, I live by "don't do to others what you wouldn't want done to yourself" so.

And sorry I just read the posts above but this guy sounds like a really nice snd genuine guy. Girl, you shouldn't treat others like that


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

You are a good person. +1

Thank you both, very much appreciated we're back in contact now.