Why do people in relationships still have 'crushes' on other people?

Scroll to see replies

Not everyone does. It actually makes me feel ill at the thought of fancying/doing things with other men. I really don't seem to find anyone else apart from my boyfriend attractive at all.

And this is how it should be! Surely?

Original post by Vikki1805

Just because you are in a relationship/married, does not mean you are blind.

There is a huge difference between having a crush/finding someone attractive, to progressing those feelings to something more, which is when people end up getting hurt.

Ok then there's a woman in my work who is married with 3 kids. She constantly goes on about this guy in work (not her husband) about how hot he is etc. Would you say that is acceptable?

Reply 41

Id and Ego seek

psychology350.wordpress.com/2012/05/31/comparison-level-for-alternatives-seren-bezzant

Reply 42

username677182

Original post by MancBoy

Ok then there's a woman in my work who is married with 3 kids. She constantly goes on about this guy in work (not her husband) about how hot he is etc. Would you say that is acceptable?

Who does she go on about this other guy to? If she make flirtatious comments in the work place etc, then realistically it's causing no harm to anyone.

If she goes home and says to her husband "Core this guy at work..." then that's a little different.

Also, as I previously said, making comments and/or window shopping is extremely different to progressing those thoughts/feelings to something more.
If you act upon them, or if you start to get 'deep feelings' then it's more serious.

Reply 43

Llamageddon

same reason people who aren't in relationships have them.

Reply 44

Another

Is it only me who finds this strange? When I fall in love, I don't find a single other person even remotely as attractive as the guy I've fallen in love with...

Ok, just me then.

Reply 45

Bonzo10

I never get this. I wouldn't be with a girl if I wasn't solely attracted to her; you could have sex with as many girls as you please if you were single.

People justify all this bullsh*t by saying they "aren't going to act on it" and it's "all harmless". Well, what about the office party where you have too much to drink?

Absolute nonsense. I would be single if I had wandering eyes. And to all the folk saying there is a distinction between having thoughts about somebody and acting on them, I propose this: there is a line between recognising somebody's good looks and "having a dirty thought". I love how colloquially that was put, as if it were acceptable! The point at which recognising somebody's good looks turns into "dirty thoughts" is the point at which it becomes problematic. Especially if it's somebody you could realistically hook up with.

Reply 46

MancBoy

Original post by Vikki1805

If she goes home and says to her husband "Core this guy at work..." then that's a little different.

How is that different? Shes essentially doing the same thing at work but keeping it secret to her husband. If your husband did that I know for a fact you wouldn't be too happy.