Do you think marriage makes a difference?

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her name is on everything. But this is the reason why she keeps telling him to write a will. unfortunately he has some strange idea that doing so it "jynxing it" and would somehow cause him to die.

http://www.lawandparents.co.uk/parental-responsibility.html

according to this they could of simply signed a form and he would of got all equal rights and responsibilities. It also says if a child is born now that will automatically happen. so even though it could of caused possible problems with my parents generation it shouldn't matter to people making the decison now.

The problem is when the children are legally adults and if the father remarries etc. For example, your father marries some other woman, has no will and dies - the new wife would get everything and you would receive nothing. Even if he wrote a will and left things to you, she could contest it and probably win on many items.

Reply 121

boba

Original post by Jimbo1234

that would concern me more if my dad had any savings or possessions worth anything other than a house, half of which my mother owns.

However like I said it seems that children born now (after either 2004 or 2006) have equal rights and responsibilities irregardless of whether they were married. However hopefully I will stay with my current boyfriend. (I realise this might not happen but currently I hope it will). and he is a law student hoping to be a solicitor anyway so he should know enough to know whether it is important by the time it comes to it. Even if he doesn't actually work in family law the modules in his undergraduate degree would give him more knowledge than the average person to make such a decision.

Reply 122

Jimbo1234

Original post by boba

That isn't the case as the link you provided pointed out. You still have to sign some documents and as I said, that is only for the child when they are legally a child, not an adult.
IN all honesty, the couple should just get married. It solves so many legal loopholes and frankly, if the mother is willing to have a child to the man, then why does she not feel comfortable to marry him?! "I don't trust him enough to commit to him, but I'll make him your father"?! :facepalm:

Reply 123

boba

Original post by Jimbo1234

no the link says ways that you could have that rights are either the child be born after a certain date, be married or sign the documents.

and it would never be a case of "I don't trust him enough to commit to him" using my parents as an example, just because its familiar to me. They have a mortgage two children and now only my father works thats fully commited and surely shows MORE trust as they don't feel the need to have a legal back up in case it doesn't workout. (not saying necessarily more sensible but certainly more trusting).

if one of them were to be hospitalised and was incapable of making the decisions the fact that their parents had the legal right to make the decisions would be nowhere near the biggest concern about the situation and knowing both sets of grandparents they would just do whatever they were told was best. The only issue I can see is inheritance and simply writing a will would solve that.. though neither really has anything worth worrying about except their half of the house.

incidentily if my dad was to die tomorrow I would recieve the payout from his work pension as I am actually named on it though I'm not really sure why its me not my mother.

Reply 124

Jimbo1234

Original post by boba

Not at all. If they trusted each other, then commit. Sign the documents and make it binding.

if one of them were to be hospitalised and was incapable of making the decisions the fact that their parents had the legal right to make the decisions would be nowhere near the biggest concern about the situation and knowing both sets of grandparents they would just do whatever they were told was best. The only issue I can see is inheritance and simply writing a will would solve that.. though neither really has anything worth worrying about except their half of the house.

incidentily if my dad was to die tomorrow I would recieve the payout from his work pension as I am actually named on it though I'm not really sure why its me not my mother.

Erm, I'm talking about in a few years time when your grandparents are dead, and your folks are dying. Yes, it's grim, but inevitable and needs to be thought about to stop a **** storm from happening least when you need it. Also how is the house split? Are both names on the mortgage and who paid into it? These things can all be contested.

It is you on the pension and not your mother as legally they have no connection. In the eyes of a court, she is no one to him, so lets hope she stays on your good side :tongue:

Reply 125

LexiswasmyNexis

Let's not even start talking about inheritance tax and spousal exemption.

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Reply 126

username242140

Original post by boba

same. I always thought that wasn't very sensible as if they ever DID split up, no matter how unlikely, she would be left with nothing. However I never would of worried he would leave us if he left her, whether the courts said so or not.

Same here. xD Not all men are self interested knobs it seems. :P

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Reply 127

blue n white army

My brother n his girlfriend just bought a house and aren't married. To me it seems like a bigger commitment to someone to put your name on a joint mortgage than to get married

Reply 128

boba

Original post by Jimbo1234

Not at all. If they trusted each other, then commit. Sign the documents and make it binding.

Erm, I'm talking about in a few years time when your grandparents are dead, and your folks are dying. Yes, it's grim, but inevitable and needs to be thought about to stop a **** storm from happening least when you need it. Also how is the house split? Are both names on the mortgage and who paid into it? These things can all be contested.

It is you on the pension and not your mother as legally they have no connection. In the eyes of a court, she is no one to him, so lets hope she stays on your good side :tongue:

both names are on the mortgage but my mother hasn't paid anything since I was born so only paid for 5 years of a 25 year motgage. However if he was to die before her there is noone twisted enough to try and take her home from her.e

but according to you at 20 years old I am legally nothing to him so by that logic it would go to his mother or sisters surely? :confused:

Reply 129

boba

Original post by Beckyweck

Same here. xD Not all men are self interested knobs it seems. :P

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haha well obviously not but things do happen. A breakup could of been her fault as much as his I just meant she has no security at all and having not worked for 20 years would probably find it hard to support herself.

Reply 130

Jimbo1234

Original post by boba

It would go to his sisters :redface:

Legally they would be the next of kin, not you.

Reply 131

tehFrance

Original post by Jimbo1234

It would go to his sisters :redface:

Legally they would be the next of kin, not you.

So if his name is on the child's birth certificate and it still goes to someone else? where do you get such crap from? I have yet to see actual evidence of this.

Reply 132

Jimbo1234

Original post by tehFrance

So if his name is on the child's birth certificate and it still goes to someone else? where do you get such crap from? I have yet to see actual evidence of this.

Wow, you are so insecure over this aren't you? Have you even googled this for a second or are you afraid of confirming everything I've said? It is everywhere.... :curious:

Reply 133

dan94adibi

Original post by Beckyweck

I want to know what people think about marriage. Do you think that there is a big difference between marriage and just cohabiting?

For example, I don't feel that marriage is a massive step if you're cohabiting already since after a wedding you just go back to normal life anyway but when I voiced this opinion in a conversation I was told not to be ridiculous and of course it makes a huge difference.

My parents have cohabited for the last 22 years without being married and I don't think their lives would be any different if they were married.

What do you think?

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For me its just a waste of money. I mean on average people spend around £20,000 on their wedding. Why not put that money on a good use? Invest it with your partner to make your life better.

Having said that I think when getting married it gives the women a kind of confidence that you are committed to the relationship (ladies will no better that me on this).

Reply 134

LexiswasmyNexis

Original post by dan94adibi

Why are your options "spend £20k" or "don't get married"?

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Reply 135

dan94adibi

Original post by LexiswasmyNexis

Why are your options "spend £20k" or "don't get married"?

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Is that a trick question? :afraid:

Reply 136

username474976

Original post by dan94adibi

Is that a trick question? :afraid:

He means, just because the average is £20k, it doesn't mean you have to spend £20k on your marriage or not get married at all. Clearly there is a huge middle ground and many people have quiet, low budget marriages.

To answer the OP: It may not make a difference to how you raise a family or conduct your general life (apart from legal issues) but I think marriage makes a difference between the couple.

Reply 137

angelin

I am not religious so marriage would never be something I would do so that I appear "united" with my spouse before the eyes of God blah blah blah...

Nor it would be something I would do because I felt the pressure from my family, friends, society, etc.

However, I would like to do it when I reach a point in my relationship that I would like to be referred to as his "wife" and not his "girlfriend" or "partner", or when I would feel ready to have children. I believe that despite the high divorce rate, marriage makes a difference between the couple.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 138

boba

Original post by Jimbo1234

It would go to his sisters :redface:

Legally they would be the next of kin, not you.

perhaps but thats why I expressed confusion over it not going to my mother, it goes to next of kin automatically unless you name someone and he named me. Despite the fact that my mother exists and I actually have a younger brother.

Reply 139

boba

Original post by tehFrance

So if his name is on the child's birth certificate and it still goes to someone else? where do you get such crap from? I have yet to see actual evidence of this.

this is technically true however the law changed fairly recently and anyone born after a certain date it makes no difference whether you were married or not. Don't worry about your potential future babies :wink: