In reality, weight loss is about your diet. Exercise helps, of course, but it doesn't burn
that many calories.
With regards to meals, it really is just a case of eating healthily and not depriving yourself of anything in particular. At the end of the day, your body needs fat, carbs, protein, fibre etc. There's no point trying to cut one of those key things out on some sort of 'fad' diet, but you do have to find a balance. Pasta/rice to take to work is fine, as long as you don't have it for every meal (because pasta/rice/bread are carb-heavy).
It's practically impossible to give you a list of healthy things in one short post on TSR: firstly, because there are so many healthy things and secondly because it's difficult to define. Like I said, you shouldn't deprive yourself of things you enjoy - just eat it in moderation. So if you decide one day you fancy chocolate or wine, have it, but stop when you don't want any more, rather than just eating/drinking because it's there to consume.
In general, you want to eat lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, lean meat, wholegrains, less sugar/salt, don't go overboard on the dairy (but still have it, because it's important for your health and also tasty!) and drink lots of water. I'm sure you know basically what's healthy for your and what isn't: it's really a case of eating in moderation (i.e. eat when you're hungry and stop when you're fill) and, in the same vein, stop letting food control you. You don't have to finish your plate and food isn't going to make you feel better when you're sad/stressed/angry/etc.
About 1800 calories sounds like a sensible goal if you want to lose around 1 pound per week (that's without exercise). Don't go drastically low because it will only backfire. Also, don't stress about your exact calorie intake: be aware of what you're eating but realise that one bad day isn't going to add an inch to your waistline. Really, the best way to lose weight and keep it off is not to "diet" as such but to adopt an entirely different lifestyle. Learn to enjoy every mouthful of food you eat, rather than just shovelling it down without thinking, indulge when you
really want to (which you will probably find isn't as often as you currently do) and if you have a bad day, don't give up. We're only human - it's not a sin to enjoy yourself!
As for exercise, do exercise. It's healthy, fun and energising. But don't expect it to make a massive different to your weight loss. Do, however, use it to gain confidence, feel great and eventually to gain muscle ('tone up'). If the gym is your thing, then 3 or so hours a week is enough for you to start seeing a difference in your fitness and strength. But don't feel compelled to go to the gym just because it's seen as the "only" way of exercising. Find something you love - it will feel less like a chore and you're more likely to keep it up.
Good luck