Hi everyone.
I could really do with a chat or just a friendly ear I think. I am a 23 year old female. When I was in my last year of university, I started to date a guy from back home who I met at the supermarket I worked at. I guess some would say it was meant to go wrong from the start as a week after we started dating, I found out he actually had a fiance with the venue booked and everything. He made her out to be a psycho to me and he essentially dumped her for me.
Anyway, things were great but like anything, it turned out to be the most craziest two and a half years of my life. I did everything for this guy - treated him with care and respect. In turn, he cheated on me with a prositute, shouted at me, locked me in rooms. What is even worse is that I let him treat me so badly and I would have sex with him on demand and I would always take him back. Anyway, in the summer just gone, I had failed in many jobs. I am an intelligent person and I couldn't hold down any jobs because he would also do things like argue with me when I was at work and things. So in September I entered a teaching training course (where I am now practically a qualified secondary school teacher).
In November, he rang me up and said he had booked flights to Australia and he wanted to travel for a year. (Bear in mind he has no qualifications, aspirations or anything). He dumped me and he refused to speak to me until he left. Later on that week, (about three days later) he rang me up saying he was coming back from Australia as he couldn't handle it out there. (Honestly 3 DAYS). He did go to Australia as well because I saw pictures of it on Facebook. Anyway, because I am such a mug when he came back I fell into bed with him in a heartbeat. I just really missed him and wanted to take care of him. But he was seeming distant and almost like he was fed up with me. Then, a couple of weeks after (end of January) he completely stopped talking to me and he changed his number.
Now he has a 16 year old girlfriend, (he is 24). I know as a teacher now this isn't how I should feel but I feel so incredibly screwed up. I feel that he is happy and I am just sat here in plain misery. I am on anti-depressants and the only thing at the moment keeping me going is my teacher training course - but I even feel like a failure at that.
It is killing me inside knowing that a young girl is out there and he will end up probably treating her the same. I have seen on Facebook (due to extensive stalking), that she calls him her "amazing boyfriend" etc. I don't know what to do. As bad as it sounds, I miss him so much. A part of me even wants him back. I am scared he will lead a happy life and he won't receive any karma for what he has done to me. I used to be such a confident person but now I am just lost inside.
Can anyone give me any advice please?