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Casual sex with a jerk

This guy has casual sex relationships at the moment and he asked me to have sex with him. At the time I said no and got so disappointed because I thought I liked him! My heart got broken badly as I realised he is a jerk/ is not whom I am looking for in the long run/ serious dating. I am pretty sure about that!
I realised he isn't even the sort of person I would hang out with.
However, I have to be honest that I am attracted to him physically. I think it's pretty safe to have sex with him. He lives far away ( he's in London and I am not ). He wouldn't be able to cause many issues in my life.
Shall I ask him to be my casual sex partner like once first? Is it a bad idea?

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Go for it, you can always call it off if you dont like it.

The only time I would say dont do it, is if you would loose your virginity to him, then it might be a bad idea. Dont know why, I just know if I was single and had casual relationships, it wouldnt be great to take a girls innocence just for sex.
Reply 2
It is definitely a bad idea to have casual sex with someone who you have/had quite strong feelings for.
Clearly, he doesn't want a relationship. What if you find out that this guy isn't actually the jerk that you think he is and you fall for him again? Sounds like another heartbreak to me.

Obviously its your choice but i would think very seriously about it because it could end in you getting hurt again.
Good luck!
(edited 10 years ago)
Reply 3
Original post by the666thmessiah
Go for it, you can always call it off if you dont like it.

The only time I would say dont do it, is if you would loose your virginity to him, then it might be a bad idea. Dont know why, I just know if I was single and had casual relationships, it wouldnt be great to take a girls innocence just for sex.


I have not had sex with anyone but I have been masturbating for 2 years. I feel like I want to try actual sex. I'm 19 now and I think I was just putting my sexual desire off for so long!

I dont think he has that kind of morals! I meant the only thing I care is that would it be a bad idea for my part?
Reply 4
I don't think you should loose your virginity to someone who you say is a jerk.


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Reply 5
Original post by xStaceyy
It is definitely a bad idea to have causal sex with someone who you have/had quite strong feelings for.
Clearly, he doesn't want a relationship. What if you find out that this guy isn't actually the jerk that you think he is and you fall for him again? Sounds like another heartbreak to me.

Obviously its your choice but i would think very seriously about it because it could end in you getting hurt again.
Good luck!


Even now I realised that I was a completely bad guy in other aspects as well?? I meant I am pretty sure I dont want to be in a serious relationship with him. The thing is that I know he wouldn't go around around to tell anyone to mess up my life! He's too far away!
Original post by Aries1992
I don't think you should loose your virginity to someone who you say is a jerk.



OP - This. I know plenty of people who didnt lose their virginity untill they were 19/20, I was one of them. Even if you lose it to someone who you arent in a relationship with, make sure it is someone you feel you can trust.
Reply 7
Hmm I'd leave it. You'd just be another girl to him, whereas for you it would be your first time!
Reply 8
Original post by the666thmessiah
OP - This. I know plenty of people who didnt lose their virginity untill they were 19/20, I was one of them. Even if you lose it to someone who you arent in a relationship with, make sure it is someone you feel you can trust.


What kind of trust did you mean? I obviously do not trust him enough to invest my emotions e.c.t to be a serious relationship with him. I trust him not to interfere with my life by letting anyone know about our casual relationship. We are both surrounded by people who judge us if we have sex before marriage.
Dont know why I got negged when I said exactly the same thing as everyone else. Bitches eh.
Original post by Anonymous
This guy has casual sex relationships at the moment and he asked me to have sex with him. At the time I said no and got so disappointed because I thought I liked him! My heart got broken badly as I realised he is a jerk/ is not whom I am looking for in the long run/ serious dating. I am pretty sure about that!
I realised he isn't even the sort of person I would hang out with.
However, I have to be honest that I am attracted to him physically. I think it's pretty safe to have sex with him. He lives far away ( he's in London and I am not ). He wouldn't be able to cause many issues in my life.
Shall I ask him to be my casual sex partner like once first? Is it a bad idea?



Bad, bad idea. It is probable that all kinds of feelings and strong emotions would develop, and you would end up feeling seriously down.
Reply 11
Original post by the666thmessiah
Dont know why I got negged when I said exactly the same thing as everyone else. Bitches eh.


Lmao i got negged too, got some coochie ass bitches on here i swear...
Give your virginity to somebody who deserves it, and deserves you.
It sounds to me as if you're setting yourself up to get really hurt :frown:

You obviously care about this guy and have feelings for him which are stronger than just sexual.

A relationship based purely on sex will not last forever, at some point or another it will die out and one of you will move on to another partner.
If it's him who moves on, seeing as you are emotionally attached it more than likely will be him, then you will end up feeling used, silly, upset, angry and probably disappointed.

The horrible emotions you will feel after really aren't worth the sex.

Find someone who genuinely cares about you/how you feel, I'm not saying wait for 'the one' but at least somebody who seems to have an ounce of respect for you!
You have strong feelings for him.

He obviously doesn't have them for you. He just wants a shag.

If all you want is a bit of casual sex (emphasis on casual), I'd suggest go for it, but I bet you won't be able to leave it at that.

If you don't accept it will only ever be casual, it will end in tears for you. You will get with him, I'm pretty sure of it, and when you try to take it to the next level, he'll refuse, and you'll come back here and whine as if you weren't warned here and that you didn't see it coming.

"All guy's are the same..." I can hear you saying it now...

I suggest against it girl, but I doubt you'll listen. Setting yourself up for a fall.
(edited 10 years ago)
just consider that whoever you loose your virginity too you will remeber forever so dont think your be able to just 'cut him off' having sex causes feelings to develop if its more than a one night stand
If you know what you're getting yourself into then there's no reason why not.
If you think it will hurt you in the long run, experiencing part of what you would have in a relationship and then not getting the whole hog, I would walk away.
Reply 17
The men on here will say yes, the women on here will say no...
Big NO!
save the special first time for someone who deserves you, and may have a future With u!!
Reply 19
This is you..

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