Not too sure how to take this

Sounds like shes after only comfort with the hugging and kissing. Ive noticed a lot of people at uni seems to crave this attention, even those who have partners back home (sigh) they tend to seek out someone of the opposite sex that they can have a 'low' level of intimacy with.
I think you need be establish exactly what you want , because if your after a relationship , I would cut loose with this girl.

It's fair enough to not jump straight to sex and so on, but she's ruled out a relationship altogether, and it seems that's what you're after, so I'd say the two of you aren't compatible. Presumably you're not set on marrying her yourself, but you don't want to rule out possibilities like she has done.

Sighh women...my girlfriend used to say the exact same thing too: "Too early to have someone to commit in". But strangely, after a month or so she wanted a relationship -.-
The thing is we are both 19, how old are you sir?


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friendzoned brother

Ohh I never expected her to do that, but if it was just about getting some we would definitely have got a lot further than we have done at the moment.

Ask her outright. If she doesn't give you the answer you want, don't keep sleeping with her or doing the boyfriend thing with her just hoping that she will change her mind. You will end up disappointing yourself and perhaps resenting her if things don't go how you'd like them to.

I'm not saying you have/are, just pointing out that people tend not to rule out something long term like that unless it's just sex and they don't want things to get complicated. Presumably you're after a relationship that doesn't have 'prescribed limits' like she has, it seems like she'll deliberately stop herself (or try to) from falling in love until she's hit a magic age she's thought up.

I suppose you could talk to her about why she feels that way, but unless one of you manages to convince the other, I'd say part ways.

I know this is slightly off topic, sorry, but it does annoy me a little bit when teenagers say things like relationships shouldn't exist young, and you're just going to break up so what's the point, and you shouldn't commit young.

While to a certain extent, this is realistic thinking, it's pretty depressing. Not everyone has teen/young relationships, I know that. If it's not by choice then it just means nobody good has come along yet or they aren't much interested in the opposite sex, nothing wrong with that. But I don't agree with the notion that young relationships serve no purpose.

They serve plenty of purpose. Gaining valuable experience, developing certain skills and making later relationships smoother and easier, understanding the opposite (or same!) sex in a romantic way, and most importantly spending time - however little or much - together and being happy with a person for that time. Plus, you could go on to spend years or a lifetime together, who really knows?

That's my 2 cents anyway, little rant for the morning. As to your problem: I'd be straight with her, telling her you really like her and would quite like a romantic relationship, or at least an establishment as to the status of your current relationship. Just talk it out. Being a girl, I know we say stupid things sometimes when we're desperate to act all cool and casual, but really want the same things as the boy. You never know, she might be hiding her true feelings.

That's sensible. It's just quite a difficult thing to let go of. I'm going to give it a bit of time because she was pretty ill and worn out when she said this stuff so it might have clouded her judgement a bit. I'll speak to her though.



Oh right, I see what they mean. Well yeah ideally I'd like that but it doesn't sound all that likely right now. I'll speak to her tomorrow and just go from there.

That's sensible. It's just quite a difficult thing to let go of. I'm going to give it a bit of time because she was pretty ill and worn out when she said this stuff so it might have clouded her judgement a bit. I'll speak to her though.



Oh right, I see what they mean. Well yeah ideally I'd like that but it doesn't sound all that likely right now. I'll speak to her tomorrow and just go from there.

I know this is slightly off topic, sorry, but it does annoy me a little bit when teenagers say things like relationships shouldn't exist young, and you're just going to break up so what's the point, and you shouldn't commit young.

While to a certain extent, this is realistic thinking, it's pretty depressing. Not everyone has teen/young relationships, I know that. If it's not by choice then it just means nobody good has come along yet or they aren't much interested in the opposite sex, nothing wrong with that. But I don't agree with the notion that young relationships serve no purpose.

They serve plenty of purpose. Gaining valuable experience, developing certain skills and making later relationships smoother and easier, understanding the opposite (or same!) sex in a romantic way, and most importantly spending time - however little or much - together and being happy with a person for that time. Plus, you could go on to spend years or a lifetime together, who really knows?

That's my 2 cents anyway, little rant for the morning. As to your problem: I'd be straight with her, telling her you really like her and would quite like a romantic relationship, or at least an establishment as to the status of your current relationship. Just talk it out. Being a girl, I know we say stupid things sometimes when we're desperate to act all cool and casual, but really want the same things as the boy. You never know, she might be hiding her true feelings.