Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.

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I feel so ashamed of my habits. I enjoy them and I like them, I will be honest I like running, I like lifting weights, I like eating healthy mostly just as much as I like sweet treats, and hell I like being fit and strong. But I can't imagine what everyone else thinks. Why do I have to be such a freak?

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Reply 5541

jazzykinks

Original post by Cinnie

So true. I really over-think this kind of uni conundrum...

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I sometimes have this dilemma but I usually eat after all my lectures or in between waiting for one. It doesn't make you look greedy. You need the energy to concentrate in the next lecture! x

Reply 5542

Anonymous #48

Original post by Cinnie

So true. I really over-think this kind of uni conundrum...

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Depends on a few factors...

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Reply 5543

.snowflake.

Original post by Anonymous

Feel my mum's concerned by one of my breakfast combinations-porridge and peanut butter. Yes there's the slight disordered side of it being pretty healthy, but I love it! I don't know if it's a problem. Is it anyone else's business what I like?
She might not be concerned, I just thought she gave a disapproving glance at the kitchen table today x

I <3 that combination. not even kidding.

Reply 5544

MelissaJayne

Original post by Anonymous

Isn't porridge quite a common breakfast, ED or no ED? It's a good, healthy start to the day. The addition of PB is common too, I know loads of people that do that.

Reply 5545

Anonymous #43

Original post by .snowflake.

I <3 that combination. not even kidding.

Original post by MelissaJayne

Isn't porridge quite a common breakfast, ED or no ED? It's a good, healthy start to the day. The addition of PB is common too, I know loads of people that do that.

It's one of my faves too! But I'm so scared of worrying Mum. I do have PB most days if not every day tbf. It's the same reason why I have to ask to go the gym these days, I'd feel bad otherwise, like I'm a bad person letting myself and everyone down.
I think it's learning to tread the fine line between passion and obsession and the way I define it is if the rest of my life is in balance? So hard to tell. x

Reply 5546

TotoMimo

Remember, "Eating Disorder".

If you can eat a human brain every morning without detrimental life performance, that's not a disorder!

Reply 5547

Anonymous #43

Original post by TotoMimo

Remember, "Eating Disorder".

If you can eat a human brain every morning without detrimental life performance, that's not a disorder!

But does it count if your performance in life is partially dictated by others' approval? If I think people don't like what I'm eating I'll stop eating it, it's annoying especially when it comes to drinking, I don't always want to get hammered but feel I have to
I guess you could say there's anxiety over what I think others think of my eating?

Reply 5548

Riku

Heyy hope everyone's been doing OK :hugs:

My Easter's been uneventful but alrght and it was lovely to see family again. Been going pretty well this last week.
However I've just had new neighbours move in with a baby, which means probably no more singing 0_0 possibly no more music, and possibly I'm going to feel a need to control myself more...music is such a good stress outlet, I really hope I can still sing without upsetting the baby!

Reply 5549

.snowflake.

Original post by Riku

Heyy hope everyone's been doing OK :hugs:

Pop next door at some point in the next week to ask. There'll probably be a certain time in the day where it isnt okay, but hopefully the walls arent really thin.

Reply 5550

Anonymous #149

Original post by Cinnie

So true. I really over-think this kind of uni conundrum...

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At my uni it would be considered completely unacceptable to eat in a lecture, but there's nothing stopping you from walking out and eating outside the lecture hall - people will just assume you're going to the bathroom.

Reply 5551

Anonymous #149

Original post by Anonymous

yep well thats a half a tub of vanilla ice cream, 5 slices of bread (White), big cookie galaxy bar, couple sun-dried tomatoes (don't ask) washed down with three bowls of fruit 'n' fibre and some random pasta we had as leftover.I feel soooooo great right now. This is what happens when I am alone....I'm sure in half an hour I will probably reach for some more bread and the pot of nutella that is looming in the back of my mind.

Any advice I cant stop thinking or reaching for food its wearing.

Next time you feel yourself doing this, quickly put all of it into a huge bowl, say to yourself 'I'm going to eat this, and this, and this and this'.... and mix it all together... you really won't want to eat it, and there would be no other place for it all except the bin. Weird thing is though you will actually feel that you ate it because you said you were going to. Try it at least once. I've felt like binging in the past and done exactly what i did above and it's actually a relief because by the time you've mixed everything together and you're staring at it realising that you can't eat it, your mind will have calmed down. I'm not saying it will work, but I'd say it's definitely worth a try xx

Reply 5552

Anonymous #81

Two physiological sensations i've started noticing:

1) Extreme coldness, most often hands and feet (sometimes I shiver badly, even when it isn't that cool)
2) muscles and bones feeling really "sensitive" to the touch.

Just wondering if these were bulimia-related, does anyone know?

Also, I prefer porridge and jam. Yum!

Reply 5553

Cinnie

Original post by Anonymous

Yes I have these things too

Reply 5554

TotoMimo

Circulatory conditions, such as cold hands and feet, parasthesia (sp?), or pins-and-needles, light-headedness - it's all symptoms your body is struggling. When you purge you overheat the body's core which temporarily increases your pulse and draws blood into your oesophagal lining in order to try to heal the throat. Do this often enough and your body starts to take a lower blood pressure overall in an attempt to regulate.

What results is a feeling of freezing-to-hot polarising feelings, dizziness as your electrolyte imbalances heighten, you starve your inner ear (balance centre) of blood and occasionally find you "lean as you walk", and eventually it worsens. And trust me, it worsens.

Even if you DON'T purge, because I only ever did so a few times (but it was never really about that for me), these symptoms just occur as your body starves in general.

Reply 5555

Anonymous #170

I am in a slightly different side of the situation. i saw my very close friend repeatedly throwing up the little bit of food she would eat a day! She was getting skinnier and skinnier and looked less healthy every day! however, she comes from a family with many children, and her parents failed to notice that their daughter was suffering from bulimia! It came to a point where I thought it was necessary to tell her parents in order to save her life!! She has started rehab now, but hasn't spoken to me for 3 weeks, we usually speak multiple times a day!! what should I say to her if I call, to make it not awkward, and how do I ensure her that I wasn't trying to get her punished by her parents, but rather trying to help her?? any advice??

Reply 5556

Anonymous #48

Original post by Anonymous

I think it definitely depends on the uni :smile:

But the bottom line is - skipping meals or not eating because you're at uni all day isn't a good thing, there are places and ways to get around it. :yy:

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Reply 5557

05autyt

So my friends drove round in the middle of the night on Wednesday and told me how worried they were about me.. They said they wanted me to go to a doctor, and after a while I agreed. I know feeling this way isn't right at all. But I am SO scared right now, and I don't know what to expect? I'm just panicking a bit, will they ask questions or do I have to explain first because I honestly don't know how to explain this?

Reply 5558

Anonymous #81

Original post by TotoMimo

Insightful as always Toto, thanks!

Would you recommend any steps/things I can do just to sort these things out (besides the obvious)? Would drinking a Gatorade or something sort out the electrolyte balance? Are there foods/otc medicine or whatever you would recommend that might address these or is simply eating better?

Thanks for your patience.

Reply 5559

TotoMimo

Original post by 05autyt

First of all, BRAVO YOU. Accepting your problem is hands-down, the longest and hardest part. It might not SEEM like it, but because you've spent so long just DOING it and never QUESTIONING it, your ED might have started far earlier than you'd even thought.

Now, talking to your GP. What I'm going to say sounds strange but it's actually a good thing. YOUR GP IS TRAINED TO TREAT YOU WITHOUT EMOTIONALLY INVOLVING HIM OR HERSELF. He or she is paid to have zero judgement towards you. Like I said, this sounds bad, but is initially a good thing. You are worried how to word, how to articulate, what to say, what not to say - your GP is paid to actually hear the most lurid, bizarre and taboo of things without flinching, and they do it so well because they see you as a human, and not as Bob Bobson.

You must tell him or her EVERYTHING. If it's in your mind for whatever reason, it's IN there. And it needs to come out. If all you can tell them is that you "know your eating is wrong and it's hurting you", then so be it. If you feel you can tell them exactly how you structure your day around eating (or NOT, as it might be), then do so. The more you can say, the better.

When I went to my GP initially, I lied a lot. It did me no good. It delayed the process by about two months as they tested me for a bunch of stuff I knew I didn't have. I lied to myself I had a problem, but it "wasn't that bad". But in the end, my GP was a logical, precision instrument, and basically told me "This is all it can be. You MUST be doing something you're not telling me. You NEED to tell me, otherwise, I can't help you." And that's just it - they don't care HOW you tell them, so long as you do. It's almost an unwritten law that even if they know exactly what's wrong with you before YOU do, until you confess and itemise your mental disorder, they aren't able to accurately diagnose.

To my most recent anon-bud, unfortunately there's no quick-fix. It's like an alcoholic waking up with a death-hangover and placating himself with a pot of coffee. It's called the "rubberband effect". When you stretch yourself really far one way, your initial reaction is to solve it to an equal opposite magnitude. It's inherent of an Eating Disorder or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that you must solve a problem absolutely, actually - to cancel out and eclipse an issue with an opposite action (for example, knowing how many calories are in a bit of chocolate, knowing the amount of calories burned by running up a hill, eating said chocolate and then running up the hill until effectively, cancelled out).

What you can start off with is making sure you consume enough calories to start your body rebuilding. This means eating more than your calculated maintenance; think of the surplus as "building fuel" and not "fat". Imagine your body is a factory that's been making no money and the repo men have started selling bits of the machines inside. This is why your body is starting to ail. By upping your energy intake, your "factory" can pay it's rent, and start to first piece together the broken, lost bits without adding any "extra annexes", or fat percentage, onto you.

Secondly, make sure you get protein - you'll need the iron. Focus on getting calcium (and vitamin C to help the calcium absorb into your body), iron, some potassium and good unsaturated fats. Your body will "tell" you when you're doing right.