I have a problem with my girlfriends previous promiscuity in first year

Wow, I really wouldn't date her, just imagine walking into a pub and she has shagged everyone in that pub? Just too awkward and god knows what has been stuffed into that vagina of hers and you have no idea if she did use protection, she could of easily lied.

Not worth it, once that worry about her promiscuous behavior is in your head, it won't go away. You can't make a hoe a wife.

But bloody hell, 30 partners?! Did she just spread her legs, laid down and men just ined up for their 30 minute shag?

This personally would repel me like a foul stink, I'm sorry.

I know that people are free to have casual sex etc and it's a free country, each to their own etc but the total marginalisation of it, having a competition and sleeping with people you're not even attracted to or don't know... that's so utterly converse to my own views on what sex should entail that I think we'd be such different people morally and that would condemn the relationship for me. I'd never see her as the girl I wanted.

I did have a situation somewhat like this in my own Second Year, girlfriend with a promiscuous past in her first year. I tried not to let it bother me but I never felt comfortable with how many people had slept with her. Ultimately she cheated on me with 5 guys in 10 days. This isn't going to happen to you, it was just a bad experience and bad luck for me. Just qualifying why I perhaps have stronger views that I may otherwise have had.

If it effects you, if you're unhappy to the point where it bothers you, then it's a problem and you should consider the relationship and whether, long term, she's the girl you want. You can't find the right person if you're with the wrong person.

Best of luck. x

I definitely wouldn't consider the issue resolved. I've been there, OP. I heard the spiel about self-respect, and being a new person, and blah blah blah. But the thing that tipped me off was how much pleasure she took in talking about these things with her friends.

I was in no doubt that she loved me at the time, but she started to miss being such a free spirit after a while (not necessarily the casual sex, but the context of it; parties/friends/reliving wild stories etc etc). That relationship eventually ended, so you may want to take what I'm saying with a pinch of very bitter salt, but I wish you all the best regardless.

She told me that in first year she had slept with close to 30 different guys. She also talked about how she had a competition with her friends during freshers where they would sleep with blokes of different sizes and ethnicities (e.g small asian guy, big black guy and so on).

This would make me extremely uncomfortable if I really liked this girl and it was a serious relationship! I would force myself to detach from her emotionally.

People who say the past is the past are wrong. We are shaped by our experiences and they offer an insight into our personality. For whatever reason, this girl decided to let 30 guys have their way with her within her first 2 years at uni.

I see no future with someone like this. It would cause me nightmares that someone i love let people do this. Would see her as lacking in basic morals and stability. Therefore not a very pleasant future with her.

Sad but true. If some guy got over it fair enough.

Im not saying she should feel ashamed but what youre saying is also wrong by the way my dad works at a sexual health clinic and even if you use a condom you still can catch herpes and genital warts even if the disease isn't currently active...having had casual sex with someone she doesn't know is putting both herself and her BF at risk ...thats why she should feel bad about it especially since she's a smart girl its not because it's morally wrong thats not what i'm saying at all it's just a plain health risk

As someone who also enjoyed the single life, I do miss it, I also like reminiscing with friends. But if you meet the right person, it's an easy choice. Maybe you just weren't right for each other. I still party and have my crazy nights, as does she, we are both club rats, so you can have your cake and eat it too to an extent.

I just feel I should stand up for all my fellow "sluts"- things can turn out ok!

To those people that say "It is just sex" way to downplay the most intimate physical thing two individuals can do. The acceptance of high promiscuity has far reaching effects its not just "two individuals doing no one harm" no man is an island the social effect of this is felt by all and the only thing you need to do is look back at what your society has become. I for one would not want my kids raised in such a messed up environment.

Sorry for kind of derailing the thread, but it has to be said.

It doesn't have to be intimate though. There's a difference between f*cking and making love.

I assume most people who are anti promiscuity have at least kissed someone casually. Compare that to kissing someone you love, it's totally different. Just like this girl having fun, casual f*cking doesn't mean she can't make love to her boyfriend.

Yeah, look at what liberalism has done, bring back open racism, accepted wife beating and marital rape!

The way liberals defend themselves is like so " Your are a racist/sexist/rapist/homophobic or you want racism/sexism/rapisim(not even a word in society."

I laugh at these remarks,liberalism actually meant something back in the day, now its just another excuse to "YOLO" in other peoples expense.Every ideology has its bad side who is to say we can't extract the good from the bad. Do you have your honey with the wax?

How can you complain about slut shaming when they are calling her a slut? She's actually committed to a long term relationship, and been honest about her past when she could easily have lied.

It's a legitimate concern, but the language used by some people has been horrible.

Cause that's all that I ever hear regardless of whether people have used the word "slut" or not...

And I think you meant "how can you complain about the people that bring up the term slut shaming".

So you're annoyed people have complained about the slut shaming, even though there has been slut shaming, because in other instances people complain about slut shaming when there's no slut shaming. Right.

For what it's worth, I don't think you have to use the word slut, whore is basically the same in these contexts. The anti slut shaming movement is about more than trying to ban a word.