Why do people want kids so badly?

I don't want kids either and I also get comments like "you'll change your mind someday" and "you'll want them when you meet the right guy" and all that crap. I'm not good with kids at all so I know I'd make a terrible parent!

I think a lot of people are making the decision to have kids far too young, before they've settled down properly and have all their affairs in order, and are actually mature enough to take responsibility for another human life. My mum was 32 when she had me (and I was her first child) which is supposedly "old" by today's standards, but in my mind that's the perfect age to have kids. People rush things too much these days and I think that's part of the reason why we end up with so many single parents.

Well its everyone to their own to be honest personally id rather like a son to carry on my line and all that
Plus if its a son i dont have to worry about some greasy little turd ball doing unspeakable things to her in my house and me thus going to jail for then doing unspesakable things to him with a cricket bat..

Instead you'd like your child to be the greasy turd ball doing unspeakable things and being beaten up by a cricket bat?

I've been thinking about this recently and I am pretty adament that I do not want kids when I am older. I am pretty young, at the age of 21, but I can't see it ever being a possibility. For one thing, kids drive me nuts, especially when they always go out of their own way to be disobedient as exhibited in schools (people in my class always used to be disruptive when I was in school and it really peeved me off). The concept of potentially having to raise a child (if my future partner demands it) depresses me, because of the high level of commitment involved, the fact that it would give my life a more deterministic turn and my offspring taking over would be a further cynical reminder that my time on Earth is limited and finite. I can see raising a child a very financial and psychological drain on me as I am slightly autistic and experience moments of depression and anxiety, so raising a child would not benefit me in the slightest. I would want to be in complete control of my life and make sure I satisfy myself (by keeping fit, being in academia and playing music) and make sure I am stable rather than create a huge compromise in my life by meeting someone who desperately wants children (as most women seem to).

What annoys me even more, is that when I tell people I don't want kids (e.g. my parents, friends) they're like "You can't decide yet" or "The time will come when is right" but this annoys me because it implies that I'm being expected to have children or that my views simply aren't valid. Furthermore, I hate how there is generally a fair bit of pressure and expectation from society for people to have children, and to point it out when someone doesn't want them (similarly for settling down and getting married). It seems to imply that there is only one way to live.

I don't see what the fuss is about wanting to have kids and I think most people only have them because it's the "done thing" or because it is human nature to reproduce, so people just do it without fully thinking about why. I don't have a problem with what other people choose to do but I just can't see how it would benefit me, especially since many people my age are wanting to get engaged/married and have children and stuff, whereas I'm finishing my undergraduate degree next year and I barely feel like my life has even begun!

The "you can't decide yet!" Thing also bothers me. I decided that I didn't want children when I was 12 years old, I'm now almost 21 and have never shifted from my position of thought, despite friends/relatives having children around me. I doubt I'll ever change my mind.


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That's the thing I've always had a problem is. It is your RESPONSIBILITY as a person who CHOSE to bring a child into the world to look after them and raise them to the best of your ability.

The child never asked you to do anything for him, he just came bewildered into the world not knowing what was going on, then met some dude and a woman who he happened to live with.

It would be absolutely abhorrent to bring a child into the world by expecting him to do something for you in return before he was even born. It's like building a living and thinking insurance machine as a back-up, doesn't sound very caring OR loving to me. The amount of people who have the same opinion as you is concerning.

No amount of "but I love my child" or "it's something everyone else does" makes it a good excuse imo.

Most of the time it's for either benefits or attention seeking.

This. The amount of girls who come and post pictures of their newborn on facebook - it's like, where's the shame? You had a one night stand and are no longer with the father yet you think you've done something good?

Instead you'd like your child to be the greasy turd ball doing unspeakable things and being beaten up by a cricket bat?

I don't want kids either... nor do I want to get married! That's been my point of view for as long as I can remember, but I've had people tell me this makes me selfish.

...I'll just get a dog, they're SO much cuter!

I think the idea of bringing another human being into the world and raising them with the lessons you have learned from your life is pretty sweet. I can't imagine there'll be a whole lot to do when you're 30 years old, in a stable long term relationship with a stable and probably predictable career. Your children are modelled on you both genetically (unless you adopt) and environmentally, and although there are clear exceptions I would say it's fair to assume you'll find a lot of common ground with them, especially when they reach adult age. I reckon I could raise someone to have a positive influence on the world so I feel no guilt about "contributing to overpopulation" or something silly like that. Also, I like kids, I miss being one and I think their carefree and imaginative approach to life would have a positive impact on me psychologically despite the tantrums that would come with it.

Or, if you would prefer the cynical/pragmatic answer, I'd like to have close family there for me when I'm an old man, especially if my partner dies before I do or something. I imagine being an old person looking at their kids growing up, or even grandkids, would be a great source of pride. I can't imagine anything worse than being old and lonely with nothing but other frail old people for company.

I'm continually surprised by how many young people don't want kids. Modern life isn't that exciting.

Most of the time it's for either benefits or attention seeking.

This. The amount of girls who come and post pictures of their newborn on facebook - it's like, where's the shame? You had a one night stand and are no longer with the father yet you think you've done something good?