He has a girlfriend and a child.

Yeah, he's still with her. I can't see anything changing right now because of the distance but I'll be studying down south this year. He's told me that things might be different when I move.

If that were the case, he wouldn't be calling me twice a day and wanting to see me again in a few weeks.

24 seducing a 14 year old...doesn't that kinda make him a pedophile?

I can't believe you're so stupid as to want things to change. Just let it go.


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Either way you're attempting to be a home wrecker. Surely you have the common sense to walk away?

He has a girlfriend and a child, you have no place trying to get involved.

If you have any dignity, self respect and morals you would cut contact.

Like I've said previously, it's all well and good to say that when you're not in the situation yourself. If it were as easy as that, I wouldn't be posting here. It's difficult when you have feelings involved.

I have said that I need to have a proper chat with them and establish what he wants, I'm not prepared to be a temporary bit on the side until he gets bored, but at the same time I don't want to completely cut contact with him straight away and think 'what if' for the rest of my life.

Like I've said previously, it's all well and good to say that when you're not in the situation yourself. If it were as easy as that, I wouldn't be posting here. It's difficult when you have feelings involved.

I have said that I need to have a proper chat with them and establish what he wants, I'm not prepared to be a temporary bit on the side until he gets bored, but at the same time I don't want to completely cut contact with him straight away and think 'what if' for the rest of my life.

I dont understand why you're going down South when you live in Scotland. If it's for him - then don't go. It is a waste of your time and money. You'll only end up getting hurt. If he is still with her now, nothing will change when you move down there. You're being a home wrecker.

Like I've said previously, it's all well and good to say that when you're not in the situation yourself. If it were as easy as that, I wouldn't be posting here. It's difficult when you have feelings involved.

I have said that I need to have a proper chat with them and establish what he wants, I'm not prepared to be a temporary bit on the side until he gets bored, but at the same time I don't want to completely cut contact with him straight away and think 'what if' for the rest of my life.

I'm going to try my best to not insult you so bear with me.

I know you said that leaving him is not an option but you need to realise that it IS. It will be hard but think about the pain and guilt you're going through now and imagine how much worse these feelings will become if you do stay. You made the choice to be in this situation and you need to make the choice to remove yourself from there.

You made the mistake of kissing and sleeping with him but that's in the past. You need to think about the present and the future. Stop yourself making another mistake and leave him.

I know the girlfriend said she doesn't know why she's with him but you need to realise that what people say is not necessarily how they feel.

Finally, stop this all for yourself. He's asked you to only contact him at certain times? It sounds like he's trying his best to make his girlfriend think that everything is normal. He isn't treating her right and he isn't treating you right.

Like I said you have the choice to change how things are. CHANGE because you will love yourself much more for it. It'll be hard and tough but you'll have the support of others (you definitely can message me any time).

Best of luck. Whatever you do at the end of the day I hope it turns out well! x

I'm bored of this thread now.

You clearly didn't want 'advice' from anyone, more that you wanted for someone to come and tell you it's all OK and what you're doing isn't wrong.

Well it is wrong. He has a girlfriend, he is in a relationship. If, by some miracle, he did leave her (which he won't) he'd only cheat on you, like he has on her. Forget him.

You said 'leaving him isn't an option' there is nothing to leave! You don't even know him.

This kind of response is exactly why I was hesitant to post here.

It's all fine and well for an outsider to read something, judge a situation and throw whatever comments out there. It's easy to judge a situation, it's not so easy to be the person in the situation.

Like I said, I didn't plan for any of this to happen and of course I feel guilty about it so please try and refrain from hurling insults and abuse my way. You can have your opinion, I respect that, but aggressive and abusive messages aren't going to help.

Thank you. I think I'm finding it more difficult than I should be right now because it's all still very fresh and recent, but I think the longer I go without seeing him, the easier it'll be to end it. My judgment is still clouded but I think once I'm able to clear my head a bit, what you and everyone else has said will sink in if that makes sense. Just up to me to come to my senses, really! x

Good. Good luck with that, it can sometimes be difficult to see things clearly when they're raw and fresh. I hope that the other readers see this post and back off a bit (including myself)

Clear your head, get him out of your system. It won't be easy, but it's definitely the best thing to do.