I'm i leading him on?

so basically i met this guy, i'll call him cosmo, about 9 months ago now and instantly we hit it off. we met up loads and he had to leave to go to india for about 2 and a half months. the whole time i was faithful and genuinely couldnt wait for him to get back. when he did i just didnt feel anything more for him than friends. now, months later hes my BEST friend. hes got a heart of gold and just has this character where he spreads happiness to everyone and hes just generally awesome. thing is hes told me several times in the past he really really likes me. even loves me. i dont feel the same way, hes like a brother to me, i treat him like i treat all my girl mates ( all 2 of them ) and so we spend quite a lot of time together. he insists to pay for things for me, gives me tobacco all the time, cooks for me, compliments me and generally treats me like im his fiancée or something... i dont know what to do, i WISH i was attracted to him but as shallow as it is im not physically attracted to him at all and dont think i ever will be. hes said before its fine and that we can still be friends and he'll try and get over it. but im afraid that its just stringing him along and hes going to get heart broken. the last thing i ever want to do is hurt him, the idea of that hurts me. WHAT DO I DO?! i dont wana lose him as a friend :frown:

please help :frown:

Reply 1

Mankytoes

10

Why on earth did you think of cosmo?

Reply 2

ChocoCoatedLemons

17

Cosmo? Really?

But on a serious note - it's going to be much harder for him to get over you if you're spending so much time together. I would suggest spending some serious time apart.

Reply 3

evalilyXOX

20

Original post by spacekitten

so basically i met this guy, i'll call him cosmo, about 9 months ago now and instantly we hit it off. we met up loads and he had to leave to go to india for about 2 and a half months. the whole time i was faithful and genuinely couldnt wait for him to get back. when he did i just didnt feel anything more for him than friends. now, months later hes my BEST friend. hes got a heart of gold and just has this character where he spreads happiness to everyone and hes just generally awesome. thing is hes told me several times in the past he really really likes me. even loves me. i dont feel the same way, hes like a brother to me, i treat him like i treat all my girl mates ( all 2 of them ) and so we spend quite a lot of time together. he insists to pay for things for me, gives me tobacco all the time, cooks for me, compliments me and generally treats me like im his fiancée or something... i dont know what to do, i WISH i was attracted to him but as shallow as it is im not physically attracted to him at all and dont think i ever will be. hes said before its fine and that we can still be friends and he'll try and get over it. but im afraid that its just stringing him along and hes going to get heart broken. the last thing i ever want to do is hurt him, the idea of that hurts me. WHAT DO I DO?! i dont wana lose him as a friend :frown:

please help :frown:

have a sit down with him and talk things through. It will feel good to get rid of the elephant in the room. That happened to me back in february and I lost a guy friend to the same circumstances (but he never went off to india haha)

guys can be quite sensitive (more than we would think) so just be careful

good luck !!

Reply 4

Climbontoyourseahorse

9

If he's expressed his feelings for you on numerous occasions and on every one you have rebuffed him, it should be quite apparent to him that you do not have feelings for him and probably never will. Much as it is difficult to reduce or eliminate contact with someone you're attracted to, if he's got to the stage in which it will hurt him to be your friend and nothing more, it is his responsibility to sever contact. If anything I think that you could end up hurt here in that when he's over his infatuation or it's lessened he might lose interest in you as friend. Most of his motivation to give you all this attention lies in his attraction to you.

Reply 5

FranticMind

18

Original post by spacekitten

WHAT DO I DO?! i dont wana lose him as a friend :frown:

please help :frown:

As long as you have been clear - then what more can you do?

It sounds like he is still hoping for something to happen. But just make sure not to give him mixed signals and if he ever suggests again to simply keep it up.

That or don't see him again.

I'm i leading him on?

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