Does 'meeting up for coffee' mean a date?
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Original post by TenOfThem
coffee = a date
however
a date does not = a relationship
however
a date does not = a relationship
No.
Coffee = coffee.
A 'date' is a 'date', wherever it may be.
And Dates are a ****ing dumb concept. WOO. SPECIFIC DAYS OF GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER. **** that. Just do what you want to do with someone and have some ****ing fun.
I you don't want to go for this coffee, I'll go for ya! And if you don't like hot drinks, usually, fruity drinks are good or at a push tea.
Original post by Kage
Haha I met a girl for a coffee a long time ago, and didn't consider it a date. I only realised afterwards that it was, and she took time in replying, only to say "I think we should be friends". I thought we were anyway!
Short story, shorter, she stopped contacting me about a day later.
Short story, shorter, she stopped contacting me about a day later.
Haha this is what scares me! Half the posts now are making me want to go and half aren't. I don't agree with the concept of dates but in this case I'm hoping it's just a perfectly normal request to physically meet up to chat - just hope she's not expecting a relationship. God I need to man up.
A coffee is just to get to know you more. I'v asked people who i may have just recently met (I.e at college/uni/friends party), if they'd like a coffee/drink sometime - this is purely to establish if we get along and could be potential friends (boy or girl).
You are reading too much into it lol,there's no expectation to declare undying love or partake in baby making activities! Just go along for a nice, friendly chat (:
You are reading too much into it lol,there's no expectation to declare undying love or partake in baby making activities! Just go along for a nice, friendly chat (:
Depends if they said it is, depends about loads of things
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Original post by concubine
No.
Coffee = coffee.
A 'date' is a 'date', wherever it may be.
And Dates are a ****ing dumb concept. WOO. SPECIFIC DAYS OF GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER. **** that. Just do what you want to do with someone and have some ****ing fun.
Coffee = coffee.
A 'date' is a 'date', wherever it may be.
And Dates are a ****ing dumb concept. WOO. SPECIFIC DAYS OF GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER. **** that. Just do what you want to do with someone and have some ****ing fun.
Context is all
No, it doesn't. Maybe I have a different kind of lifestyle/friendships than the previous posters, but I meet up with guys for coffee and I don't consider those meeting 'dates' - they're purely platonic. Never have I got into a relationship from any of these meetings. We're completely friends, nothing more. Same with any new guys I meet, if I ask them for a coffee, I'm simply asking to go for a coffee and a chat, not asking them for a coffee so I can then ask them for a date. If I wanted a date, I'd make it clear I was arranging a date, I dunno by using the word 'date' maybe. I would only ever bring that up after knowing someone for quite a while (at least 5 months) and being 99% sure that they liked me.
Anyhow, even if the girl you've just met does want a relationship, I highly doubt she's going to sit down with her latte and say ''so I've asked you here because I think we'd be great together, we should have a serious relationship starting from today, what do you say?''. Things are a lot more subtle and slower than that. So if she continually asks you out, makes hints at going to your place/her place, compliments your body/gets touchy feely - then you can tell her very nicely and politely that you aren't looking for a relationship, but you really do enjoy her company as a friend. Of course, if you don't want to be friends with her, then don't go for coffee, decline politely. But personally, there's no use in throwing away a potential friendship just because you're worried she'll ask you out. As I said, it may not be the case, and even if it is, you can say no and still remain friends.
That's the grown up way to go about it - I don't actually know your age but I'm in my 20's now, and this is the way I deal with guys asking me out when I just want friendship, it works for me. I don't think it would have worked in my teens.
Anyhow, even if the girl you've just met does want a relationship, I highly doubt she's going to sit down with her latte and say ''so I've asked you here because I think we'd be great together, we should have a serious relationship starting from today, what do you say?''. Things are a lot more subtle and slower than that. So if she continually asks you out, makes hints at going to your place/her place, compliments your body/gets touchy feely - then you can tell her very nicely and politely that you aren't looking for a relationship, but you really do enjoy her company as a friend. Of course, if you don't want to be friends with her, then don't go for coffee, decline politely. But personally, there's no use in throwing away a potential friendship just because you're worried she'll ask you out. As I said, it may not be the case, and even if it is, you can say no and still remain friends.
That's the grown up way to go about it - I don't actually know your age but I'm in my 20's now, and this is the way I deal with guys asking me out when I just want friendship, it works for me. I don't think it would have worked in my teens.
Original post by superduper9
I know exactly what you mean - recently, I met this girl, we were texting and I suggested going for a coffee over the easter weekend because we were both bored and the weather seemed nice for a change. She, however, thought I was asking her out and replied "I'm flattered but I'm not ready to start dating again blah blah ...." I was thinking ... ermm .... I wasn't actually asking you out .... lol awkward!
I know exactly what you mean - recently, I met this girl, we were texting and I suggested going for a coffee over the easter weekend because we were both bored and the weather seemed nice for a change. She, however, thought I was asking her out and replied "I'm flattered but I'm not ready to start dating again blah blah ...." I was thinking ... ermm .... I wasn't actually asking you out .... lol awkward!
Original post by Anonymous
Ahh it's just so scary, never been on a date before, don't think I really want to; surely if it's a date it means she's looking for a relationship whereas I am not. The whole thing would be a waste of time, right?
A date doesn't prove that she automatically wants a relationship with YOU - that's the point - it's simply the chance to get to know each other a little, and see if there COULD be a romantic future there. She could meet up with you and decide that she doesn't actually want anything from you. It seems that you've already made that conclusion about her, BUT
are you saying that, without a doubt, no matter how beautiful, intelligent, caring, interesting and funny any girl could possibly be - you wouldn't be interested in something more than casual, under any circumstances?
If there's any doubt, then you might as well just go on the date and see how you feel. If nothing else, it'll be a learning experience.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah the first paragraph is kinda what I was hoping, that to me is fine. I just don't like the forced dating thing that seems to be in this country that seems to have spread from American TV shows. I don't like putting labels on stuff like this - seems unnatural.
And god that sounds quite awkward, haha did you say that you weren't asking her out?
And god that sounds quite awkward, haha did you say that you weren't asking her out?
Yeah I know what you mean. Just do what comes naturally to you, don't let anyone force you or influence you.
Yeah, I didn't know what to reply to her text. I ended up saying something like .. "Thats cool, when I asked you for coffee, I didn't mean it as a date". Still awkward! She had a sense of humour though which sort of meant we quickly laughed it off and avoided it. Never asked her to go for coffee again - she ended up asking once. I was so tempted to write back "I'm flattered but I'm not looking to date or see anyone at the moment ..." Didn't think her sense of humour stretched that far though.
Original post by Stevo112
Hahaha! I've seen that happen before!
just because she wants to go out for a coffee doesnt mean she wants a date, maybe shes just interested in getting to know you better. you should go because you might end up having a nice time, if you think during the meetup that shes interested in you as a boyfriend then just kindly drop into the conversation that your not looking for a serious relationship, you might even change your mind and realise that you do like her like that and want a relationship. just go, you might have fun.
Original post by superduper9
Yeah I know what you mean. Just do what comes naturally to you, don't let anyone force you or influence you.
Yeah, I didn't know what to reply to her text. I ended up saying something like .. "Thats cool, when I asked you for coffee, I didn't mean it as a date". Still awkward! She had a sense of humour though which sort of meant we quickly laughed it off and avoided it. Never asked her to go for coffee again - she ended up asking once. I was so tempted to write back "I'm flattered but I'm not looking to date or see anyone at the moment ..." Didn't think her sense of humour stretched that far though.
Yeah, I didn't know what to reply to her text. I ended up saying something like .. "Thats cool, when I asked you for coffee, I didn't mean it as a date". Still awkward! She had a sense of humour though which sort of meant we quickly laughed it off and avoided it. Never asked her to go for coffee again - she ended up asking once. I was so tempted to write back "I'm flattered but I'm not looking to date or see anyone at the moment ..." Didn't think her sense of humour stretched that far though.
I think you wanted to **** her lol.
If that is the case then try not to see the girl as the prize, try to get her to see you as the prize....
She rejects your invitation to go for coffee because she thought you were trying it on, yet she is allowed to ask YOU for coffee without you telling her how it is. WTF is that all about?!
Original post by Anonymous
Lmfao, hahahahaha. That is an extreme scenario I must say. But yeah I get you I guess no major harm can really come from it, I guess I should really just go and see what she wants, it doesn't sound too serious. Btw I don't like hot drinks so any ideas to what I could get that isn't coffee?
Iced tea, fraps, etc. Coffee places often sell juice and stuff to.
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