HELP. I'm meeting a man from a one night stand. So worried!
Okay I'll cut to the chase. I met a lovely man(I think) on a night out a few weeks back who's 9 years my senior. Not that that is an issue. One thing led to another and he stayed with me on that night out. We've been chatting ever since and it's come around that we're going to stay in a hotel together next week and go our for dinner etc( he lives 3 hours away) which I'm quite frankly worried about. I've told him I'm nervous but truth be told I'm worried. He seemed genuine but what if something goes wrong? What if all he wants from me is sex. What if he's forgotten how I looked and won't like it and its going to be an awkward 24hours together! Or... I've forgotten how he looks and am not attracted to him and spend the whole time uncomfortable! If I'm in that position what do I do????
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Original post by Bdavies06
Okay I'll cut to the chase. I met a lovely man(I think) on a night out a few weeks back who's 9 years my senior. Not that that is an issue. One thing led to another and he stayed with me on that night out. We've been chatting ever since and it's come around that we're going to stay in a hotel together next week and go our for dinner etc( he lives 3 hours away) which I'm quite frankly worried about. I've told him I'm nervous but truth be told I'm worried. He seemed genuine but what if something goes wrong? What if all he wants from me is sex. What if he's forgotten how I looked and won't like it and its going to be an awkward 24hours together! Or... I've forgotten how he looks and am not attracted to him and spend the whole time uncomfortable! If I'm in that position what do I do????
Don't you have him on Facebook at least, for what you know he could just be someone looking for cheap thrills away from his wife. 9 years is a lot, thats probably close to nearly half your age?
I'd be careful! Is he asian? Married? Nine years is a lot of gap.
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Original post by Roseaal
Bit mean.... is he asian,LOL
He's probably married. Make sure he's not. If he is, stop meeting him and tell his wife.
Original post by Am I Really Here
He's probably married. Make sure he's not. If he is, stop meeting him and tell his wife.
This.
Original post by Am I Really Here
He's probably married. Make sure he's not. If he is, stop meeting him and tell his wife.
Poor guy probably just wants some action he's not getting at home
Original post by Bdavies06
we're going to stay in a hotel together
Original post by Bdavies06
What if all he wants from me is sex.
He definitely does not want to have sex with you.
Go with your gut. Seems like you're far too iffy about it. And hotel room after an ONS sounds like he's probably looking for sex, yes. If you still wanna see him and he you, suggest you reschedule for a safe daytime outing in public that doesn't suggest sex to end the event. How he responds to this will probably tell you how he feels about you as a whole and what he's looking for out of you if it's not obvious to you now.
If you don't like him then you never have to see him again, but chances your probably get on alright and it won't be as awkward and painful as you think it'll be 
Original post by Bdavies06
Okay I'll cut to the chase. I met a lovely man(I think) on a night out a few weeks back who's 9 years my senior. Not that that is an issue. One thing led to another and he stayed with me on that night out. We've been chatting ever since and it's come around that we're going to stay in a hotel together next week and go our for dinner etc( he lives 3 hours away) which I'm quite frankly worried about. I've told him I'm nervous but truth be told I'm worried. He seemed genuine but what if something goes wrong? What if all he wants from me is sex. What if he's forgotten how I looked and won't like it and its going to be an awkward 24hours together! Or... I've forgotten how he looks and am not attracted to him and spend the whole time uncomfortable! If I'm in that position what do I do????
If all he wants is sex then don't meet up with him as your relationship won't ever work
You were a one night stand and now your worried that all he may want is sex??? youve already set the standard and tone of the relationship a hotel? of course he wants sex if he didnt he'd have dinner with you and book himself into a hotel for the night
What degree is this then? A BA Hons in Sexual Encounters?! Key words in your sentence: 'one night stand'. In other words that means "no emotional strings attached".
The fastest way of finding out if this 'man' has genuine feelings for you is to ask him to wait... @ least for a couple of weeks. 9 times out of 10 they'll lose interest; if (for him), waiting is not an option then you know what he's really after.
Every successful & self-respecting man & woman puts boundaries in place. We are then shaped by these boundaries; we gain self-respect & the respect of others.
Don't abuse or use your body hun; live by the middle age conventions with a modern twist! Give yourself only to those you feel something for.
Take it from me, when you do meet the love of your life you'll wish you had waited.
I made the mistake of thinking sex was a way of increasing my popularity & reputation?! My reason? Everyone else was @ it so why not me?
I'll tell you why! Without knowing it, I was abusing my body and allowing others to do the same. I gave away the most precious thing I had (my virginity) to a drunken stranger on a one night stand & I can never get that back... but, who am I to judge?! I'm no saint. I've made mistakes: plenty of them too! So all I can offer you is my own experiences, actions and behaviors, my reasonings & my regrets.
Save yourself for someone who doesn't just lust after your body; save yourself for someone who truly respects & loves you.
I apologise for my slightly aged approach to your question but if my daughter asked this question online, I like to think that someone would do the same for her. :-)
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The fastest way of finding out if this 'man' has genuine feelings for you is to ask him to wait... @ least for a couple of weeks. 9 times out of 10 they'll lose interest; if (for him), waiting is not an option then you know what he's really after.
Every successful & self-respecting man & woman puts boundaries in place. We are then shaped by these boundaries; we gain self-respect & the respect of others.
Don't abuse or use your body hun; live by the middle age conventions with a modern twist! Give yourself only to those you feel something for.
Take it from me, when you do meet the love of your life you'll wish you had waited.
I made the mistake of thinking sex was a way of increasing my popularity & reputation?! My reason? Everyone else was @ it so why not me?
I'll tell you why! Without knowing it, I was abusing my body and allowing others to do the same. I gave away the most precious thing I had (my virginity) to a drunken stranger on a one night stand & I can never get that back... but, who am I to judge?! I'm no saint. I've made mistakes: plenty of them too! So all I can offer you is my own experiences, actions and behaviors, my reasonings & my regrets.
Save yourself for someone who doesn't just lust after your body; save yourself for someone who truly respects & loves you.
I apologise for my slightly aged approach to your question but if my daughter asked this question online, I like to think that someone would do the same for her. :-)
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by lmallan
What degree is this then? A BA Hons in Sexual Encounters?! Key words in your sentence: 'one night stand'. In other words that means "no emotional strings attached".
The fastest way of finding out if this 'man' has genuine feelings for you is to ask him to wait... @ least for a couple of weeks. 9 times out of 10 they'll lose interest; if (for him), waiting is not an option then you know what he's really after.
Every successful & self-respecting man & woman puts boundaries in place. We are then shaped by these boundaries; we gain self-respect & the respect of others.
Don't abuse or use your body hun; live by the middle age conventions with a modern twist! Give yourself only to those you feel something for.
Take it from me, when you do meet the love of your life you'll wish you had waited.
I made the mistake of thinking sex was a way of increasing my popularity & reputation?! My reason? Everyone else was @ it so why not me?
I'll tell you why! Without knowing it, I was abusing my body and allowing others to do the same. I gave away the most precious thing I had (my virginity) to a drunken stranger on a one night stand & I can never get that back... but, who am I to judge?! I'm no saint. I've made mistakes: plenty of them too! So all I can offer you is my own experiences, actions and behaviors, my reasonings & my regrets.
Save yourself for someone who doesn't just lust after your body; save yourself for someone who truly respects & loves you.
I apologise for my slightly aged approach to your question but if my daughter asked this question online, I like to think that someone would do the same for her. :-)
Posted from TSR Mobile
The fastest way of finding out if this 'man' has genuine feelings for you is to ask him to wait... @ least for a couple of weeks. 9 times out of 10 they'll lose interest; if (for him), waiting is not an option then you know what he's really after.
Every successful & self-respecting man & woman puts boundaries in place. We are then shaped by these boundaries; we gain self-respect & the respect of others.
Don't abuse or use your body hun; live by the middle age conventions with a modern twist! Give yourself only to those you feel something for.
Take it from me, when you do meet the love of your life you'll wish you had waited.
I made the mistake of thinking sex was a way of increasing my popularity & reputation?! My reason? Everyone else was @ it so why not me?
I'll tell you why! Without knowing it, I was abusing my body and allowing others to do the same. I gave away the most precious thing I had (my virginity) to a drunken stranger on a one night stand & I can never get that back... but, who am I to judge?! I'm no saint. I've made mistakes: plenty of them too! So all I can offer you is my own experiences, actions and behaviors, my reasonings & my regrets.
Save yourself for someone who doesn't just lust after your body; save yourself for someone who truly respects & loves you.
I apologise for my slightly aged approach to your question but if my daughter asked this question online, I like to think that someone would do the same for her. :-)
Posted from TSR Mobile
Very well put. I hope OP follows as commanded by you.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by lmallan
What degree is this then? A BA Hons in Sexual Encounters?! Key words in your sentence: 'one night stand'. In other words that means "no emotional strings attached".
The fastest way of finding out if this 'man' has genuine feelings for you is to ask him to wait... @ least for a couple of weeks. 9 times out of 10 they'll lose interest; if (for him), waiting is not an option then you know what he's really after.
Every successful & self-respecting man & woman puts boundaries in place. We are then shaped by these boundaries; we gain self-respect & the respect of others.
Don't abuse or use your body hun; live by the middle age conventions with a modern twist! Give yourself only to those you feel something for.
Take it from me, when you do meet the love of your life you'll wish you had waited.
I made the mistake of thinking sex was a way of increasing my popularity & reputation?! My reason? Everyone else was @ it so why not me?
I'll tell you why! Without knowing it, I was abusing my body and allowing others to do the same. I gave away the most precious thing I had (my virginity) to a drunken stranger on a one night stand & I can never get that back... but, who am I to judge?! I'm no saint. I've made mistakes: plenty of them too! So all I can offer you is my own experiences, actions and behaviors, my reasonings & my regrets.
Save yourself for someone who doesn't just lust after your body; save yourself for someone who truly respects & loves you.
I apologise for my slightly aged approach to your question but if my daughter asked this question online, I like to think that someone would do the same for her. :-)
Posted from TSR Mobile
The fastest way of finding out if this 'man' has genuine feelings for you is to ask him to wait... @ least for a couple of weeks. 9 times out of 10 they'll lose interest; if (for him), waiting is not an option then you know what he's really after.
Every successful & self-respecting man & woman puts boundaries in place. We are then shaped by these boundaries; we gain self-respect & the respect of others.
Don't abuse or use your body hun; live by the middle age conventions with a modern twist! Give yourself only to those you feel something for.
Take it from me, when you do meet the love of your life you'll wish you had waited.
I made the mistake of thinking sex was a way of increasing my popularity & reputation?! My reason? Everyone else was @ it so why not me?
I'll tell you why! Without knowing it, I was abusing my body and allowing others to do the same. I gave away the most precious thing I had (my virginity) to a drunken stranger on a one night stand & I can never get that back... but, who am I to judge?! I'm no saint. I've made mistakes: plenty of them too! So all I can offer you is my own experiences, actions and behaviors, my reasonings & my regrets.
Save yourself for someone who doesn't just lust after your body; save yourself for someone who truly respects & loves you.
I apologise for my slightly aged approach to your question but if my daughter asked this question online, I like to think that someone would do the same for her. :-)
Posted from TSR Mobile
I can't thank you all enough for your advice. I do have him on Facebook yes, but pictures are so very different to reality. And he's not married. I don't think.
I really appreciate the advice given above, it does not seem like an aged approach it seems like a sensible one. I'd still love to go and meet him because he has seemed really interested and friendly ever since we met a month ago but is there a way of basically asking him ...'are you just after sex' in kind words?
I don't want to ruin the friendship we already have by doing that or to make the night awkward when we do meet. Cause this obviously is step 2 of getting to know each other I quite frankly don't want to have sex and would simply like to get to know him throughout the evening!
If you don't want to have sex, don't stay with him for the hotel.
say something like: "Hey, I know how we met - but I honestly feel like I would like to get to know you better." or something along those lines.
Don't be pressurised into something you don't want to do - he is much older than you, he might know how to manipulate girls / make them feel guilty into doing something they might not really want to do.
Stand up for yourself - don't do something YOU don't want to do to please someone ELSE (which BTW, you barely know). After all, in all likelihood he is probably not the one for you, and if he is, waiting is probably going to be better than jumping into bed again with him.
say something like: "Hey, I know how we met - but I honestly feel like I would like to get to know you better." or something along those lines.
Don't be pressurised into something you don't want to do - he is much older than you, he might know how to manipulate girls / make them feel guilty into doing something they might not really want to do.
Stand up for yourself - don't do something YOU don't want to do to please someone ELSE (which BTW, you barely know). After all, in all likelihood he is probably not the one for you, and if he is, waiting is probably going to be better than jumping into bed again with him.
I don't understand how he can be using you for sex when you too will get sex? Regardless unless you tell him you want something more than just sex how the **** is he suposed to know? Since it was originally a ONS and you're meeting in a hotel of all places anyoe would expect the same.
Female logic not even once.
Female logic not even once.
Original post by NathanW18
He definitely does not want to have sex with you.
At OP, why don't you speak to him on Skype or something? Make sure you are attracted to him? And find out more about him.
Also didn't you post the thread last night about guys only wanting you for your breasts? You don't sound like you're exactly shying away from the attention.
Well, if you're worried about all this and to the extent of making a thread on here, then clearly you shouldn't be going ahead with this.
Trust your instinct, if you're not comfortable with it then don't do it.
Trust your instinct, if you're not comfortable with it then don't do it.
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