I cheated on my girlfriend with my male friend

Anon because of the whole situation.

This is not a troll.

I've been with my girlfriend for over a year, and I love her to bits. We're currently in an LDR and I'l be seeing her again in a months time.

But last night, me and my friend went out for a few drinks and then went off clubbing. He recently confessed to me that he is bisexual, which I'm fine with. However, last night I felt curious, maybe because of the alcohol I don't know, and we went home, one thing led to another and we had oral sex.

And what a mistake I've made. I feel awful. I'm so ashamed, guilty and I wish that it had never have happened. Me and my friend have agreed it was a one time mistake and will never ever happen again. He also feels awful as he is friends with my girlfriend as well.

I know that I will never do anything like this again. I love my girlfriend so much, but I just feel so guilty. It was a genuine, one time mistake. I know I've done wrong.

But now I just dont know what to do. I'm not sure if i should tell her or keep it to myself. On the one hand if i did tell her it would reduce the guilt, but we would certainly break up - at the end of the day, I cheated on her and it was a terrible thing to do. On the other, I could keep it to myself and hope the guilt will subside as time goes by. I just don't know what to do. I've been crying this whole morning, thinking to myself how stupid I've been.

Please, somebody help me out. I'm a mess.

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Reply 1

Mycroft Holmes

Tell her so she can dump you and find herself a real man.

Reply 2

Musie Suzie

Original post by Anonymous

It's probably best to tell her what happened, for at least two reasons: 1. When you see her (in only a month's time; you'll probably still be feeling guilty and maybe nervous about seeing her), she'll most likely know that something's wrong from how you're acting with her. 2. As she is friends with the other guy too, it's possible that he'll tell her what happened out of his own guilt. It would be much better to hear it from you.

Some people would say that as you obviously know it was wrong, a mistake, feel awful and will never repeat it, you shouldn't tell her (because you've already resolved the issue and may as well spare her the pain, by this logic).

I disagree, I'm afraid. Honesty is SO important, and are you really prepared to keep this from her for (potentially) the rest of your life? Yes, she may well leave you, and would be well within her rights to do so. You should not have got drunk and cheated on her. You chose to do so; now she should be given the choice as to whether or not to forgive you.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 3

SnoochToTheBooch

hahaha, ahh come on man, what's a blowie between friends? just act like it never happened, there's nothing to gain from any other human being ever knowing. People do stupid **** while they're drunk all the time, piss themselves, **** themselves, break stuff, lose stuff, insult others, argue, fight and annoy, humiliate themselves - yet none of these other things get taken seriously in the cold light of day. Why is this any different?

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 4

gagaslilmonsteruk

Might be an idea to tell her everything, and provided she's still ok with you, it might be an idea to take a break whilst you work yourself out, because it looks like you may be bi-curious at the very least. It would be unfair for you and for her to be unhappy with your lives.

Reply 5

Pigling

As noone else has mentioned it, as a priority you should:

- Get yourself checked out for STDs
- Do not have sex with your GF until you have got checked out

Tell her.

ah, well that sucks dude.

.

Reply 8

*cellardoor*

Original post by Anonymous

Yes she may dump you, but you'd be surprised at what some people are willing to forgive, and forgiveness is a LOT more probable if you're honest with her about it. To those who say there's nothing to gain... uhh integrity. People rarely find peace when they're living without honesty.

Reply 9

Janineee

Omg aww

( honestly, dont tell her. Shell be turned off and break up with you. Never tell her ever . Trust me .

Reply 10

arsenalfan

Original post by *cellardoor*

is that from the bible? (being serious)

Reply 11

March

I think you're missing a really important part of the puzzle here.

Was it fun?

Reply 12

Janineee

The fact is you got with a guy not a girl, shed never look at you the same and shell ruin your life, shell tell everyone .

Reply 13

ChocoCoatedLemons

Tell her as soon as you can. The longer you leave it, the worse it'll be when she (almost inevitably) finds out.

Reply 14

CJKay

I'm not really sure what sort of opinion I should have on this. :colonhash:

Reply 15

iamNatasha

This really blows dude... But honestly you shud tell her it's better coming from you, you will never be able to be the same with her again and she'll know somthings wrong so you might aswell tell her now. A realtionship cannot be built upon lies it'll get worse.

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Reply 16

Miss...

What is it with all these cheating threads lately? :confused:

As always: tell her before someone else does.

Reply 17

*cellardoor*

Original post by arsenalfan

is that from the bible? (being serious)

Sorry mate, just life experience from listening to my bestmate after she cheated on her boyfriend.

Edit: It's quite ironic if I sound like a bible preacher considering I am an agnostic atheist who never went to church except for a one off school service (and next year my parents wrote me a letter so I got excused :P)

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 18

Miracle Day

Original post by SnoochToTheBooch

Sort of agree. You're obviously really guilty about this, and I don't see your friend as a future threat to your relationship so I wouldn't tell her. And also, telling her could backfire massively if she told others.

Reply 19

redcider5

It will never be the same again. But you have to tell her. I know you love her and don't want to lose her, but you cannot keep this from her. She deserves better than that.