I can never see my girlfriend again?
I am 18, male, from England.
I went on a Gap Year to Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam. In case you don't know, a gap year is a year out from education (very popular in the UK) between College and University where people often go travelling, volunteer work, or work and make money for a year. I was travelling for 4 and a half months.
When I was in Cambodia, I met a girl and we basically fell in love. Generally a lot of girls there are:
- Prostitutes
- Ladyboys
- Just after your money
- Date old men, eg an 18 year old girl with a 55 year old guy
- In poverty, with HIV aids etc
However the girl I was going out with was not like this at all. She was the same age as me (I was a few months older), she was not a hooker at all, only had 1 boyfriend before, was fairly wealthy by Cambodian standards (had an IPAD, good phone etc), spoke perfect English etc.
I have not told anyone about this - not my friends, not my parents because I know they will judge me and think that I'm a sex tourist or that I went there because I am desperate. This is not true at all!
We were together in Cambodia for 1 month. I met her in the capital and I planned to stay there for 3 days but I ended up staying there longer as she was there, and then when I travelled for the next couple of weeks over the rest of Cambodia she came with me.
We were really in love but I knew that I couldn't stay there forever - one day I would have to fly back home to England. I told her this, she knew this. She understood everything and I was sad but knew it couldn't last as I had to eventually go back home - my parents are expecting me home, I have already prepared for University this year etc.
As soon as I got home and she was back in the capital of Cambodia, we both realised how much we miss each other. She would cry to me on skype, I would even have a little cry to myself at night (and as a guy I don't cry easily!!), her friends and sister that I know very well tell me she is acting really weird because I am not with her. We would talk on facebook everyday (still do).
It has been about 3 weeks since I last saw her. I have told her that one day I will come back to Cambodia and find her and stay with her forever this time. Ideally I would love to do this however every time I have said this, deep down inside me I know this is unlikely and will probably never happen (even if I want it to). It is just unrealistic because I will be going to University for 3 years, then when I come out of Uni I will be in massive debt, not able to fly across, and probably by then I would have moved on.
So basically even though I still love her like mad and I don't want to move on and forget her, I think I have to. Although I don't know how to say it. I really don't want to upset her because i think if I broke up with her she would be soooo sad and I don't think people realise how sad I mean because I really think I do mean the world to her.
I went on a Gap Year to Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam. In case you don't know, a gap year is a year out from education (very popular in the UK) between College and University where people often go travelling, volunteer work, or work and make money for a year. I was travelling for 4 and a half months.
When I was in Cambodia, I met a girl and we basically fell in love. Generally a lot of girls there are:
- Prostitutes
- Ladyboys
- Just after your money
- Date old men, eg an 18 year old girl with a 55 year old guy
- In poverty, with HIV aids etc
However the girl I was going out with was not like this at all. She was the same age as me (I was a few months older), she was not a hooker at all, only had 1 boyfriend before, was fairly wealthy by Cambodian standards (had an IPAD, good phone etc), spoke perfect English etc.
I have not told anyone about this - not my friends, not my parents because I know they will judge me and think that I'm a sex tourist or that I went there because I am desperate. This is not true at all!
We were together in Cambodia for 1 month. I met her in the capital and I planned to stay there for 3 days but I ended up staying there longer as she was there, and then when I travelled for the next couple of weeks over the rest of Cambodia she came with me.
We were really in love but I knew that I couldn't stay there forever - one day I would have to fly back home to England. I told her this, she knew this. She understood everything and I was sad but knew it couldn't last as I had to eventually go back home - my parents are expecting me home, I have already prepared for University this year etc.
As soon as I got home and she was back in the capital of Cambodia, we both realised how much we miss each other. She would cry to me on skype, I would even have a little cry to myself at night (and as a guy I don't cry easily!!), her friends and sister that I know very well tell me she is acting really weird because I am not with her. We would talk on facebook everyday (still do).
It has been about 3 weeks since I last saw her. I have told her that one day I will come back to Cambodia and find her and stay with her forever this time. Ideally I would love to do this however every time I have said this, deep down inside me I know this is unlikely and will probably never happen (even if I want it to). It is just unrealistic because I will be going to University for 3 years, then when I come out of Uni I will be in massive debt, not able to fly across, and probably by then I would have moved on.
So basically even though I still love her like mad and I don't want to move on and forget her, I think I have to. Although I don't know how to say it. I really don't want to upset her because i think if I broke up with her she would be soooo sad and I don't think people realise how sad I mean because I really think I do mean the world to her.
I think you guys should both save up and work on getting her here, if you are both willing. I hope this works out for you two, whatever the result though. It's a hard situation to be in.
What does she do in Cambodia? Is there any chance of her coming to study/work here at all?
Original post by Tokyoround
What does she do in Cambodia? Is there any chance of her coming to study/work here at all?
Works at a restaurant. She has only technically just turned 18 (their year starts in April, not January). When I was seeing her she was 17 by Cambodian standards, but for us she would be considered 18.
Original post by HopefulMidwife
I think you guys should both save up and work on getting her here, if you are both willing. I hope this works out for you two, whatever the result though. It's a hard situation to be in.
It's hard enough when I will be going to Uni and having £40k debt by the end of it!
Original post by Anonymous
Works at a restaurant. She has only technically just turned 18 (their year starts in April, not January). When I was seeing her she was 17 by Cambodian standards, but for us she would be considered 18.
It's hard enough when I will be going to Uni and having £40k debt by the end of it!
It's hard enough when I will be going to Uni and having £40k debt by the end of it!
Honestly don't worry about student loans, it's not real debt, far from it. The payments are tiny and you only have to pay once you're earning over a certain amount, nothing to let hang over your head. I pay more each month for my phone than my student loan.
bump
Original post by Anonymous
It's hard enough when I will be going to Uni and having £40k debt by the end of it!
It's hard enough when I will be going to Uni and having £40k debt by the end of it!
Totally understand, but it's for love, right? Every little helps, it might take years but if it's worth it, it'll make both of your lives so much richer
Original post by Anonymous
bump
I don't think you will get many different answers to the ones above.
If you're that serious about it, you need to find the money to make it work. If that means cutting back on your lifestyle at uni and paying all/some of the flight costs, you make that sacrifice.
Save a little every time you can. Don't spend too lavishly on anything. Tell her to do the same. Collect up the money to pay for either her to come or you to go, and if you really want this to work out, will it into existence. Keep acting like something's gonna happen and a lot of the times it just does 
. It will work out in the end.
Posted from TSR Mobile
. It will work out in the end.Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
I am 18, male, from England.
I went on a Gap Year to Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam. In case you don't know, a gap year is a year out from education (very popular in the UK) between College and University where people often go travelling, volunteer work, or work and make money for a year. I was travelling for 4 and a half months.
When I was in Cambodia, I met a girl and we basically fell in love. Generally a lot of girls there are:
- Prostitutes
- Ladyboys
- Just after your money
- Date old men, eg an 18 year old girl with a 55 year old guy
- In poverty, with HIV aids etc
However the girl I was going out with was not like this at all. She was the same age as me (I was a few months older), she was not a hooker at all, only had 1 boyfriend before, was fairly wealthy by Cambodian standards (had an IPAD, good phone etc), spoke perfect English etc.
I have not told anyone about this - not my friends, not my parents because I know they will judge me and think that I'm a sex tourist or that I went there because I am desperate. This is not true at all!
We were together in Cambodia for 1 month. I met her in the capital and I planned to stay there for 3 days but I ended up staying there longer as she was there, and then when I travelled for the next couple of weeks over the rest of Cambodia she came with me.
We were really in love but I knew that I couldn't stay there forever - one day I would have to fly back home to England. I told her this, she knew this. She understood everything and I was sad but knew it couldn't last as I had to eventually go back home - my parents are expecting me home, I have already prepared for University this year etc.
As soon as I got home and she was back in the capital of Cambodia, we both realised how much we miss each other. She would cry to me on skype, I would even have a little cry to myself at night (and as a guy I don't cry easily!!), her friends and sister that I know very well tell me she is acting really weird because I am not with her. We would talk on facebook everyday (still do).
It has been about 3 weeks since I last saw her. I have told her that one day I will come back to Cambodia and find her and stay with her forever this time. Ideally I would love to do this however every time I have said this, deep down inside me I know this is unlikely and will probably never happen (even if I want it to). It is just unrealistic because I will be going to University for 3 years, then when I come out of Uni I will be in massive debt, not able to fly across, and probably by then I would have moved on.
So basically even though I still love her like mad and I don't want to move on and forget her, I think I have to. Although I don't know how to say it. I really don't want to upset her because i think if I broke up with her she would be soooo sad and I don't think people realise how sad I mean because I really think I do mean the world to her.
I went on a Gap Year to Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam. In case you don't know, a gap year is a year out from education (very popular in the UK) between College and University where people often go travelling, volunteer work, or work and make money for a year. I was travelling for 4 and a half months.
When I was in Cambodia, I met a girl and we basically fell in love. Generally a lot of girls there are:
- Prostitutes
- Ladyboys
- Just after your money
- Date old men, eg an 18 year old girl with a 55 year old guy
- In poverty, with HIV aids etc
However the girl I was going out with was not like this at all. She was the same age as me (I was a few months older), she was not a hooker at all, only had 1 boyfriend before, was fairly wealthy by Cambodian standards (had an IPAD, good phone etc), spoke perfect English etc.
I have not told anyone about this - not my friends, not my parents because I know they will judge me and think that I'm a sex tourist or that I went there because I am desperate. This is not true at all!
We were together in Cambodia for 1 month. I met her in the capital and I planned to stay there for 3 days but I ended up staying there longer as she was there, and then when I travelled for the next couple of weeks over the rest of Cambodia she came with me.
We were really in love but I knew that I couldn't stay there forever - one day I would have to fly back home to England. I told her this, she knew this. She understood everything and I was sad but knew it couldn't last as I had to eventually go back home - my parents are expecting me home, I have already prepared for University this year etc.
As soon as I got home and she was back in the capital of Cambodia, we both realised how much we miss each other. She would cry to me on skype, I would even have a little cry to myself at night (and as a guy I don't cry easily!!), her friends and sister that I know very well tell me she is acting really weird because I am not with her. We would talk on facebook everyday (still do).
It has been about 3 weeks since I last saw her. I have told her that one day I will come back to Cambodia and find her and stay with her forever this time. Ideally I would love to do this however every time I have said this, deep down inside me I know this is unlikely and will probably never happen (even if I want it to). It is just unrealistic because I will be going to University for 3 years, then when I come out of Uni I will be in massive debt, not able to fly across, and probably by then I would have moved on.
So basically even though I still love her like mad and I don't want to move on and forget her, I think I have to. Although I don't know how to say it. I really don't want to upset her because i think if I broke up with her she would be soooo sad and I don't think people realise how sad I mean because I really think I do mean the world to her.
Think about whether it would be worth putting off uni if this means a lot to you. I have heard of people who have flown out to SE Asia and found work there, set up and lived very happily for long periods of time. That might be something worth thinking about if you love her - take a chance. It would be a far more exciting life
I can see the headlines now "Boy Shuns Traditional Path To Pursue Love and Adventure"! They would make films out of you and pay you millions! ... Ok, somewhere I may have gone off into wild speculation, but my point still stands! good luck!Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
She has only technically just turned 18 (their year starts in April, not January). When I was seeing her she was 17 by Cambodian standards, but for us she would be considered 18.
What does it have to do with the year? It's about the date of birth, I've never heard about someone born in September having to wait until the 1st January to turn 18
Well you could both save up money and then you fly over there, or her over here, each summer.
When you finish uni, you could look into possibly teaching English in Cambodia or Thailand or any SE asia country for maybe 1-2 years as a break from studying. Generally they only require a degree in any subject, for visa purposes. Maybe after enough time, you might wish to marry each other? That would then allow a spouse visa in the UK or wherever you wish to live.
If you love her and wish to make it happen, then don't let the distance between you stand in your way
Posted from TSR Mobile
When you finish uni, you could look into possibly teaching English in Cambodia or Thailand or any SE asia country for maybe 1-2 years as a break from studying. Generally they only require a degree in any subject, for visa purposes. Maybe after enough time, you might wish to marry each other? That would then allow a spouse visa in the UK or wherever you wish to live.
If you love her and wish to make it happen, then don't let the distance between you stand in your way
Posted from TSR Mobile
The whole long distance thing does kinda work but Cambodia.....is way to far to go to for that, I travel to Germany every month to see my other and spend the weekend ..... I hope it works out for you. GL
..... I hope it works out for you. GLQuick Reply
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