Which kind of cheating is worse?

I know that cheating is always wrong, but I was interested to hear what people thought.

Type 1: Person A, who has a SO, gets drunk on a night out and has a one-night stand or a hookup with a previous partner.

Type 2: Person A meets someone else and starts dating them without their partner's knowledge. They meet up in secret places and have genuine feelings for each other.

What do you think? You might think 1 is worse because it's a more meaningless way to ruin a relationship, there's the increased risk of STDs/pregnancy and it's irresponsible. Or that 2 is worse because it's done sober, Person A knows they're hurting their SO, and because of the feelings for the other person. Or maybe 2 is better because Person A actually cares for the person they're cheating with. Or maybe cheating is just bad, full stop, and no one method is worse.

Post your opinions! :smile:

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

tazarooni89

In the case of Type 2: Why not break-up with the original partner first, and then go for the person that you have genuine feelings for?
Surely this is making a situation worse than it needs to be, because it's deceptive and manipulative. Your partner probably doesn't want to be in a relationship with you if you're seeing someone else - but you're influencing their decisions by withholding vital information.

In the case of Type 1, you're just a bit of an idiot. Alcohol removes your inhibitions. The inhibitions which would have normally prevented you from cheating in such a meaningless way are no longer there. There isn't really any malice involved.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 2

username941859

Both are terrible, but 2 would hurt a lot more. Purely because if they were emotionally involved with someone else, it shows a lot less care for the person getting cheated on. I dunno, I'd probably dump them either way.

Reply 3

Rybee

What the **** is an 'SO'!?

In any case, I agree with Leighcakes :smile:

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 4

tazarooni89

Original post by Rybee

What the **** is an 'SO'!?

Significant Other?

Reply 5

gemmatovey

I'd say that the second one is worse because of the fact that it means the partner has been betraying their boyfriend/girlfriend purposely, whilst still leading them on. It's the perfect way to lose ALL trust that they've ever gained.

I think if I were to be cheated on, I'd rather it be the first one because it was a one night, drunken mistake, whereas the second one means they've deliberately done something to hurt your feelings.
The only part of the second one possibly being the better one (to me) is that the person would be easier to 'get over' as you know what they're like, whereas the first one could possibly leave doubt as to whether to give them a second chance due to it being a one-time mistake.

Either way is bad, but I would just prefer the first one. I think the second one would leave me very insecure and it would take a lot longer to trust my partner in future relationships.

Reply 6

Rybee

Original post by tazarooni89

Significant Other?

I am getting way too old for this e-chat business!

Reply 7

tazarooni89

Original post by Rybee

I am getting way too old for this e-chat business!

haha, I had to think for a few minutes before being able to work out what it might mean as well

Reply 8

thegodofgod

I think type 2 is worse, as it's pre-meditated and done when completely sober. :frown:

Reply 9

Jordan-James

Type 2 is the sort of cheating for idiots, where youre with someone but love someone else.

Type 1 is meh, my friend does it alot but hes convinced he loves his girlfriend, they even have tatoos

Reply 10

fudgemuffins

Cheating is for people who are bad at the game. I am not one of those people.

Reply 11

Rarrgh

Both would be horrible, but 1 could be seen as more of a mistake, and more just physical cheating while 2 would be emotional and physical cheating. Still both are pretty much unforgivable but 2 would just horrible when you found out.

Reply 12

HussainP

Original post by Calllu-m

I agree!

Reply 13

consumed by stuff

What do you mean dating? Talking? Having a few feelings? A few kisses?

She can have her talks, her feelings. at a push I can deal with the kisses. But if put a dick in my girlfriend that isn't mine. I think thats one step to far for me.

Reply 14

flit

Original post by paradoxicalme

Would definitely find Type 1 worse. At least with type 2 you'd have to accept they had genuine feelings and just move on. Type 1 would make me physically violent.

Reply 15

Huskaris

According to evolutionary theories, women fear emotional betrayal more, and men fear physical betrayal more :-)

Reply 16

xxchloexo

Difficult, i think the fact that type 2 was planned would hurt more, but if they had feelings for the other person then i would accept that more that someone having a one night stand whilst drunk

Reply 17

ashleighgiles

I would say the latter, mainly because I've been the dumpee quite a number of times. :frown:

Reply 18

Journeyzap

Hmmm, both would result in an ended relationship for me.

Type 2 would hurt a lot more than Type 1, though I guess at least that way "SO" is happy.

Can't rank either as worse, but type 1 would shock me, but would get over it quickly. Type 2 would probably hurt like a bitch for longer.