Why are girls so picky and why do so many dislike black men?

Being nice isn't synonymous with being a doormat. They're problem is they're underconfidence and doormat, not that they're kind good people.

I know plenty of genuinely nice people who are confident, and will stand their ground when they need to

This is about the girls in my area and not a generalisation of girls.

I'm so sick and tired of girls my age! I hate them so much!

I'm 19 in South East and have been single for years and I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. I consider myself reasonably attractive and above all I have a really good personality; I'm kind, generous, considerate, thoughtful, a good listener, caring, affectionate - just to name a few but I live in a world where my peers are so ****ing judgemental and superficial that it's rage-inducing.

I try so hard to befriend people but to no avail and I honestly have no idea what I'm doing wrong. I put myself out there to make friends only to be crushed so I decided to just be myself which is more withdrawn and considered as my peers as "anti-social" and of course I'm crushed.

If I don't think going ouy and getting drunk is my idea of fun then does that make me a terrible person!? If I hate Facebook does that make me unsociable? Right now I'm tired of my idiotic peers who are so damn picky and unsurprisingly can't sustain relationships because they don't consider the people who could genuinely make them happy.

What makes me so mad is that you have the jerks and the morons who don't know how to think, dress or talk always getting the girl and then they treat those girls like crap! My friend is cheating on his girlfriend with a married woman for crying out loud! Meanwhile here's me - a nice guy who can't get anyone and I don't know why.

I try to befriend black women but they don't care for me because I'm literally not "black" enough; meaning that they'd probably like me more if I called them b***h more and dropped my trousers so you can see my bum and then the white girls I know don't even like black men. I can't win and I just don't know what to do.

I'm a mature boy for my age - I always have been and I've been told this by adults. I want a meaningful relationship NOW; a relationship I can work on and move into the future with. But of course being so young older women won't look at me, and by the time I'm 30 or so I'll still be around my idiot peers only they will be the same age but they still will have the same feelings.

This is partly a rant but mostly it's my cry for help as I simply don't have a place in the world at all.

I swear everytime I go clubbing I see white blond women with black guys on the dance floor.

sounds like you've been chilling with freshies, i've never really come across that before, i particularly want friendship, more than friendship but no relationship and i know quite a lot black guys who are similar

whats with this hole 'iz it cuz im blak' mentality everyone seems to have now? It obviously is because of your personality and hyper inflated ego youre not getting with the ladies, not because of your skin.

Actually, it's because the black girls I was talking to literally said that "well you're not "black"" when they found about a black guy joined the halls.

Maybe that's because you don't identify with you- or think you're selling out somehow. I've met plenty of intelligent and well-cultured black men (lawyers, bankers etc) who could still relate well to lower class black people. So I'm not totally convinced they were ousting you because you didnt conform to the low-class stereotypes. Maybe you just weren't cool enough then..

I won't apologise for sounding like a child at the beginning of the thread because when I wrote it I was frustrated and still am.

It's not as simple as people like making things out to be; saying "go out, join a club, do this and that" isn't always the magic wand that solves people's problems. I've had this problem for a long time because I simply don't choose to be like the people around me.

They say it's not having a problem that is a test of true character but how you respond to it. You are responding to your problems like a whiny bitch. And that's accordingly how people will respond to you, I'm afraid.

You think it's because you don't choose to be like the people around you. Again, I'm not totally convinced. Ok, I have met a few black people who will try to make your life hell because they see you as a well-to-do black man, but the vast majority (especially girls) don't mind and probably fancy a bit of culture. I think you just feel you are personally better than those around you. The aloofness coupled with the superiority complex is probably what is harming your relationships.


There's a huge difference between having friends and acquaintances. I mostly have the latter - people who forget about me when I left college, people I get along with in class but never speak to when class is over.

Well, youve got to ask yourself why you only have shallow friendships. Is this a personality issue on your part? I find it easier to make more lasting friends than more shallow ones as the true friends don't judge you by your skin colour. So I wonder why you find it the other way round..seems odd.

During secondary school I hated how my class developed the same dim-witted sense of humour that drove not just me but my teachers crazy because as the top group in our year we were too immature. I had one girlfriend during this time and she said I was the best boyfriend she had ever had but this didn't stop her from cheating on me when she realised she could be with the "coolest guy in the class".

Break-ups are hard, but happen. Sorry about that.

I join clubs, I participate in events and I go out of my way to talk to people because I'm naturally a friendly guy. In the end however, people simply don't want to reciprocate the effort I put into them.

Maybe you give off the desperate vibe like you are in this thread. I do feel for you though...Maybe if you stop focusing on the people and just do the things you love a girl will come. My girlfriend is on my course, and whilst I was trying to get a gf elsewhere things just happened nturally with her And it's even better because we have a mutual interest.

You want to call me desperate and insecure? Fine, I don't care for your opinion of me because you don't know a thing about my personality to make such a judgement. What's your excuse for when I'm trying to meet people online and when I request to talk to people they decline without even reading my profile? Is it because I'm desperate and insecure? What are people's reasons for being turned down by people I try to befriend because like me they are into art or anime or movies or writing?

Superiority complex again.
When I write on my profile that I'm creative, I draw etc and add someone who has written then only to be turned down with the message "we don't share the same interests", are you honestly surprised that I came here angry and frustrated?

People don't owe you anything.

Not everyone wants to take the bars and clubs to meet people. That is not my scene. I know there are other ways to meet people and I have the confidence to talk to these people, be it a girl I meet while browsing for books in a charity shop or someone who catches a glimpse of my drawings when I'm sketching in public. What are peoples' reasons for my just not being able to get into a relationship?

x

I have emboldened some of the quotes which show how clearly you think the world owes you something. The world doesn't owe you anything. You need to start considering the others as people and stop thinking you are above it all.

Good post, I see you in a better light now. I think you should stop worrying, focus on the things that are important to you in life rather than being so preoccupied in getting a girl. I honestly think that's what you need. If you get a chance take it obviously but besides that why should you waste your time on getting girls when they might not be what you really wanted or what you initially thought about them?

Have you wondered why you don't/didn't talk to many people outside of school etc? Like do you get into a long deep conversation and get to know their interests. Do you share similar interests(this can be important) to other girls as well?

Also are you a good looking person? I highly doubt this is because of your skin colour.

This is about the girls in my area and not a generalisation of girls.

I'm so sick and tired of girls my age! I hate them so much!

I'm 19 in South East and have been single for years and I honestly don't know what's wrong with me. I consider myself reasonably attractive and above all I have a really good personality; I'm kind, generous, considerate, thoughtful, a good listener, caring, affectionate - just to name a few but I live in a world where my peers are so ****ing judgemental and superficial that it's rage-inducing.

I try so hard to befriend people but to no avail and I honestly have no idea what I'm doing wrong. I put myself out there to make friends only to be crushed so I decided to just be myself which is more withdrawn and considered as my peers as "anti-social" and of course I'm crushed.

If I don't think going ouy and getting drunk is my idea of fun then does that make me a terrible person!? If I hate Facebook does that make me unsociable? Right now I'm tired of my idiotic peers who are so damn picky and unsurprisingly can't sustain relationships because they don't consider the people who could genuinely make them happy.

What makes me so mad is that you have the jerks and the morons who don't know how to think, dress or talk always getting the girl and then they treat those girls like crap! My friend is cheating on his girlfriend with a married woman for crying out loud! Meanwhile here's me - a nice guy who can't get anyone and I don't know why.

I try to befriend black women but they don't care for me because I'm literally not "black" enough; meaning that they'd probably like me more if I called them b***h more and dropped my trousers so you can see my bum and then the white girls I know don't even like black men. I can't win and I just don't know what to do.

I'm a mature boy for my age - I always have been and I've been told this by adults. I want a meaningful relationship NOW; a relationship I can work on and move into the future with. But of course being so young older women won't look at me, and by the time I'm 30 or so I'll still be around my idiot peers only they will be the same age but they still will have the same feelings.

This is partly a rant but mostly it's my cry for help as I simply don't have a place in the world at all.

I like getting to know people so in the end I like knowing of other people's interests. For example, I hate football but that doesn't mean I leave the room when my friends are watching it or playing it on Xbox. I don't play Basketball but that didn't stop me from going out for 2 hours to watch my friend play even though I was bored and my phone was so low on battery that I couldn't listen to music.

My problem when I'm internet dating is that the people I talk to can't sustain conversations and it becomes one-sided with me doing all of the work. As I've stated before, people don't reciprocate the effort.

As for my looks, I think I'm reasonably attractive though I fuss a lot over my hair haha. I cut it short a lot of the time since there's not much I can do with it. Sometimes I wear a hat. I dress well and I'm quite neat. The reason I brought up my race was because in the say leading to my initial post my friend had told him that the girls we knew weren't into black men which made me recall how the black girls in my halls didn't think I was "black" enough for them. The certainly didn't enjoy my company when all I was was friendly to them.

Its just black guys are very dirty. They heat and all they want is ass . They have sex everywhere and they smell bad, theyre also very unclassy. Not being rasist at all. Black guys are fun to be around and amazing friends. I personally am not attracted.

Hi, I am black, pleased to make your acquaintance

There is no such thing as nice guys, and clearly you will not finish last judging by your avatar

Why should I conform to the attitudes of my peers just to be liked? Surely I can just as well meet people by being myself? Or am I wrong? I don't people here acting like I don't have people in my life because I do. My problem is getting into a relationship.

There's a huge difference between having friends and acquaintances. I mostly have the latter - people who forget about me when I left college, people I get along with in class but never speak to when class is over.

During secondary school I hated how my class developed the same dim-witted sense of humour that drove not just me but my teachers crazy because as the top group in our year we were too immature. I had one girlfriend during this time and she said I was the best boyfriend she had ever had but this didn't stop her from cheating on me when she realised she could be with the "coolest guy in the class".

How is it that I can move to Hastings and try to talk to everyone there but when we take a tour of the area no-one wants to talk to me? Is it because they're shy? No, because people are talking to each other. How is it that the girl in my halls who's in the room right next to me doing another art class wouldn't speak to me even though I did nothing wrong to her?

I join clubs, I participate in events and I go out of my way to talk to people because I'm naturally a friendly guy. In the end however, people simply don't want to reciprocate the effort I put into them.

You want to call me desperate and insecure? Fine, I don't care for your opinion of me because you don't know a thing about my personality to make such a judgement. What's your excuse for when I'm trying to meet people online and when I request to talk to people they decline without even reading my profile? Is it because I'm desperate and insecure? What are people's reasons for being turned down by people I try to befriend because like me they are into art or anime or movies or writing?

When I write on my profile that I'm creative, I draw etc and add someone who has written then only to be turned down with the message "we don't share the same interests", are you honestly surprised that I came here angry and frustrated?

Not everyone wants to take the bars and clubs to meet people. That is not my scene. I know there are other ways to meet people and I have the confidence to talk to these people, be it a girl I meet while browsing for books in a charity shop or someone who catches a glimpse of my drawings when I'm sketching in public. What are peoples' reasons for my just not being able to get into a relationship?

Well that essay was boring. I reckon your just really ugly.

Grow some balls you girl.

To be honest, most socialising for 19 year olds involves going out, drinking and partying, so if you don't do that it's going to be hard to find other like-minded souls. I'm not saying there aren't any, but if people like that are less likely to go out obviously they're less likely to meet each other. The same goes for Facebook really, say what you like about it but it really is invaluable when it comes to social things.

How you doing
ahaha

I like getting to know people so in the end I like knowing of other people's interests. For example, I hate football but that doesn't mean I leave the room when my friends are watching it or playing it on Xbox. I don't play Basketball but that didn't stop me from going out for 2 hours to watch my friend play even though I was bored and my phone was so low on battery that I couldn't listen to music.

My problem when I'm internet dating is that the people I talk to can't sustain conversations and it becomes one-sided with me doing all of the work. As I've stated before, people don't reciprocate the effort.

As for my looks, I think I'm reasonably attractive though I fuss a lot over my hair haha. I cut it short a lot of the time since there's not much I can do with it. Sometimes I wear a hat. I dress well and I'm quite neat. The reason I brought up my race was because in the say leading to my initial post my friend had told him that the girls we knew weren't into black men which made me recall how the black girls in my halls didn't think I was "black" enough for them. The certainly didn't enjoy my company when all I was was friendly to them.

Attain a high profile job, move out of your area. I'm no expert, but it looks like you're looking for a relationship for all the wrong reasons. Why are you so desperate to have a girl anyway?

Maybe because being in a good relationship is awesome.

I hate it when people say that "why are you so desperate to have a girl"...The companionship, and the level of intimacy that comes with having a "girl" kicks the **** out of being single, masturbating and loneliness that can come with it at times.

Ive also learnt more about women, by being in a relationship with a woman then from my female friends.