The Student Room Group

Help attracting my "Type"

Hey Guys/Gals,

Ok this might sound like an odd issue, but it really has been irritating me for quite some time.

I can not seem to attract my "Type", and by that I mean, quiet, not really into partying, intellectual, relationship type who dresses conservatively.

I only attract, to put it bluntly, Towie types / chavs and Older women. Mostly Older women. It annoys the hell out of me, the females I like seem to be attracted to "Hipster" types..

What should i do? I don't know if my appearance has anything to do with this, if it helps, I am Stocky muscular, 5 ft 9, exotic looking.
Reply 1
By not attracting, I suppose you mean that they reject you when you approach them.

I don't see it as a major problem if you attract chavs/cougars - surely there are limits to how much they approach you? If they actually never leave you alone in a bar ( unlikely), you need to change your venues.
Either you are not in the right scene, you're not approaching enough of the women you like or you don't exude the sophistication those girls are looking for.
Maybe its not your appearance. They probably don't know who you really are just yet.
I wasn't one for younger men before, but right now my boyfriend is 2 year younger than me (not weird to him)
You could always try to expand your search, but overall you can't force a relationship merely by type :smile:
Reply 3
Original post by Millie228
By not attracting, I suppose you mean that they reject you when you approach them.

I don't see it as a major problem if you attract chavs/cougars - surely there are limits to how much they approach you? If they actually never leave you alone in a bar ( unlikely), you need to change your venues.
Either you are not in the right scene, you're not approaching enough of the women you like or you don't exude the sophistication those girls are looking for.


I love how negative your advice is. Thanks. Assuming I lack sophistication.. Pls go.
Get a different type?

Sorry. Laugh. It was a joke :P...
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
Hey Guys/Gals,

exotic looking.


Wha:confused:
Reply 6
If these type of women are coming to you then chances are the type of women you like will also be attracted to you. If not then chances are it's your attitude or the way you dress. For example chavs tend to breed with each other..
Reply 7
Define exotic looking? I imagined a half man half peacock.

I'm not sure how you can attract people more your type in all honesty :dontknow:
Reply 8
Have you tried asking out any girls who are your type, rather than waiting to attract them?

Also, whilst unwanted attention can be annoying, take it as a compliment
Reply 9
What's a towie (sp?) type?
Reply 10
Original post by effofex
What's a towie (sp?) type?


Towie is a show, The Only Way Is Essex. Some of the women in it are actually very attractive, but very dumb and orange etc.


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Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
I love how negative your advice is. Thanks. Assuming I lack sophistication.. Pls go.


My advice wasn't negative. If you do approach those kind of women all the time, and they reject you all the time, then you are not THEIR type even if they are yours.
It is also a likely option that you don't approach enough or in the right manner. You asked for advice, got it, didn't like it. What the hell do you want.
Reply 12
Ask a mate to set you up? I think the sort of girls you seem into probably aren't the sort of person you can easily pull. Basically, you're not into sluts. So if you're stocky/muscular and tall and "exotic looking" (does that just mean tanned) then I don't think you should worry about your looks, and considering that is the primary thing that attracts people, the only problem I can think of is that you're not in the right social circles or in the right environments to meet these girls that you're attracted to.

If you know a girl and like her, ask her out for a coffee or something, or ask to grab lunch somewhere. If things go well, you'll progress into a relationship, if not then set your sights on someone else. This would be much more effective than approaching them in a bar.

Tbh, I get the feeling you meet these Towie cougar types by being in the right places to meet them. You say you like girls who prefer staying in over partying but are you like that yourself. Because even though people say "opposites attract", I think that's not usually the case.

Presumably you know all this. All I can really say is that if you don't have to work on your looks, you don't have much of a challenge. I see so many threads on TSR with people saying "I'm ugly" or "I'm fat" or whatever, and whatever people may like to believe, looks count for A LOT.

So try to meet up with the sort of girl you like and show her that you're the sort of guy she should be into. I'd be interested to know how old you are though. Presumably at least 17 or so considering your height. If you're in your early twenties like 23 or something, I'll take this question more seriously, but if you're 19 then I'm sorry, but while it sucks that you don't have a girlfriend you just need patience, and maybe a bit more of a can-do, active attitude. You'll probably meet the girl who ticks your boxes and you'll probably find you tick her boxes, but I think the only advice I can give is to focus on the latter.

But yeah, be proactive but also have patience. You need to look for the right person in order to find them, but you also need to accept that this will take time. Don't worry about it though, I'm sure it'll work out.
Reply 13
Original post by willbee
Ask a mate to set you up? I think the sort of girls you seem into probably aren't the sort of person you can easily pull. Basically, you're not into sluts. So if you're stocky/muscular and tall and "exotic looking" (does that just mean tanned) then I don't think you should worry about your looks, and considering that is the primary thing that attracts people, the only problem I can think of is that you're not in the right social circles or in the right environments to meet these girls that you're attracted to.

If you know a girl and like her, ask her out for a coffee or something, or ask to grab lunch somewhere. If things go well, you'll progress into a relationship, if not then set your sights on someone else. This would be much more effective than approaching them in a bar.

Tbh, I get the feeling you meet these Towie cougar types by being in the right places to meet them. You say you like girls who prefer staying in over partying but are you like that yourself. Because even though people say "opposites attract", I think that's not usually the case.

Presumably you know all this. All I can really say is that if you don't have to work on your looks, you don't have much of a challenge. I see so many threads on TSR with people saying "I'm ugly" or "I'm fat" or whatever, and whatever people may like to believe, looks count for A LOT.

So try to meet up with the sort of girl you like and show her that you're the sort of guy she should be into. I'd be interested to know how old you are though. Presumably at least 17 or so considering your height. If you're in your early twenties like 23 or something, I'll take this question more seriously, but if you're 19 then I'm sorry, but while it sucks that you don't have a girlfriend you just need patience, and maybe a bit more of a can-do, active attitude. You'll probably meet the girl who ticks your boxes and you'll probably find you tick her boxes, but I think the only advice I can give is to focus on the latter.

But yeah, be proactive but also have patience. You need to look for the right person in order to find them, but you also need to accept that this will take time. Don't worry about it though, I'm sure it'll work out.



Thanks very much for your reply mate, this was the kind of advice i was looking for. By exotic looking I mean, I'm mixed race w/ green eyes but I don't have afro hair I have straight hair and yes, (naturally) tanned skin. Yes I am in my early twenties (22), It's just been bugging me for quite some time, I don't want to "change" who I am just to find a female if that makes sense....Oh well. Such is life. First world problems I guess :rolleyes:
Original post by eliza.anne
Define exotic looking? I imagined a half man half peacock.


Hahahaha! You and your responses - you crack me up! :tongue:
Reply 15
Original post by superduper9
Hahahaha! You and your responses - you crack me up! :tongue:


:ahee: Glad to hear it! :tongue:


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Where on earth are you hanging out in order to attract 'your type'?!

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