making friends with an ex

how do you do this successfully?
me and this guy stopped seeing each other a few months ago, but since then it's been fairly awkward, don't really know how to treat it as we weren' officially together just seeing each other for a few months. we started meeting for a few coffees, then stopped, then supported each other in a few separate ventures, then stopped, then argued for a while, then slept with each other again, and haven't spoken for three weeks or so now?

I just want all this nonsense to stop and for us just to be normal friends. I think that he (wrongly) thinks I'm looking for a relationship with him, even though I've told him Im not. Finding it hard to make an effort to build a connection as a friend without him thinking I want to start things again.
I just don't want it to be super awkward whenever I see him.

What was the situation when you got together? Were you friends who eventually just developed things into a relationship? Or was it just dating and sex before trying to make a relationship of it?

I think when you originally had a friendship before things got serious, it's easier to be friends afterwards. You've got something that you can revert back to, and you have some kinda idea of how it will be. If you pretty much started with sex and turned it into a relationship, I think you'll find it very difficult to just be friends, because you have no idea how to do it without a physical element to the relationship. You have no idea how that would work. If you were friends, I think eventually you will manage to get back to that stage, but it'll take a long time. If you can't see a friendship happening, just make sure to be civil with each other.

I managed to befriend my ex, even though he cheated by sleeping with a girl in his neighbourhood. It happened a couple of years ago. Right now we're both cool with each other, he gives me support with my current relationship and I guess his way of atoning for cheating is by keeping away men who aren't "nice" in front of me.

I guess that if both sides are fine with simple friendship, it'll be alright. Just don't bring up emotional issues and maybe start from zero. (Easier said than done, huh)

Yeah, I'm just not sure if he cares enough to salvage our friendship, which is quite upsetting. As I just posted to someone above he's into drugs and things which I feel has kind of taken over his life. I don't think he's at all dwelling in the fact that we're not friends.

It is possible, just depends how much you want it. When me and my ex broke up I was so upset, and hated not having her in my life. Id rather struggle and be friends with her than not have her atall in my life. It gets easier aswell because you see you're much better along as friends, you just have to be careful you don't develop feelings for him again.

Drugs huh. Well that's ... a change
I guess if he's in too deep then you can't do anything yet but offer rehab ... Has it been going on for a long time?

yeah, I mean he says it's just recreational drug use, but all of his friends are into it as well, and I'm really really not because of personal family problems that have been caused by drug use.
But this just means that I don't see him around that much, unless we bump into each other, although we know a lot of the same people he's more friends with the ones that take drugs and I'm more friends with the ones that aren't, if you understand?

Oh, I get it. I know a guy in London with similar social preferences. He's still polite, nice, and all, but well, we don't have the same hobbies.
Well, maybe the occasional bumping and eye contact is enough, or a short greeting and "how are you?" since close friendship seems hard when he's drifted so far. I personally wouldn't want to associate with anyone who's in too deep when it comes to drugs, no matter who it is, unless he seeks for help.

yeah, I guess you're right. he's definitely not seeking for help, he's like very happy with it and believes we should all be more liberal - as stupid as I believe that is in this context.
yeah, this does just take up a lot of his time. Do you reckon there's no point trying to be friends then? It was kind of more for me than for him anyway. I just don't want to lose our friendship and what we had in common, but it seems he's more occupied with these things anyway.