Boyfriend puts sport before me.

I don't think you're overreacting. Having a hobby is obviously fine, but to miss important parts of your life for it is a bit selfish. He can go to Karate any time.

Bit selfish to assume he'll give up a life long hobby for you, don't you think? Ok missing birthdays and events is harsh but he shouldn't have to give up stuff for you.

1. Did no one else notice that? That's not an especially good sign.

2. Untrue. Should never be a big reason for staying in a relationship.

I think you are missing what I keep saying. I don't want him to give it up. I just want him to accept that it upsets me when he misses dates we planned. He doesn't understand that and just calls me pathetic for getting a little bit annoyed about it. if you read what I've said in other comments, I don't want him to stop it.


Posted from TSR Mobile

Several issues:

1) He loves karate and its a big part of his life. This you have to take or leave. It's not unreasonable for him to have a passion which often "comes first", it would never be good for your relationship to try and force him away from that. It's part of him.

2) He makes promises he doesn't keep. This is more of an issue. Unless something particularly, un-missably important comes up in karate, he shouldn't be ditching plans with you made months in advance at the last minute. That's just rude, and inconsiderate of your feelings.

3) You've stated you can't see yourself finding anyone else?! *alarm bells* Is this the reason you're with your boyfriend?

You know when his lessons are, how hard is it to arrange something not on a Wednesday? If I misunderstood it, so did 99% of the people in this thread!

So basically, I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now, and he does karate. He's done it since he started high school, and now were both at college 5 years later. However, I recently got a job making it a lot harder to see him, and when I can see him it's usually 'karate' nights. I've been ok with it for the past year, because I completely accept that it's a hobby of his and he wants to do well in it, but he has no interest in quitting any time soon. Now, I've been fine with the karate, up until he tells me that he's going to be missing my birthday and a party of my families because of it. I don't really know whether I am over reacting, or acting how anyone would to this situation. Anyway, I'm just stuck. It's been a long term relationship, and it's not an "on-and-off" one, but we don't agree on much, and this karate situation is one of them. Now, because of how long I've been with him, and how close he's gotten to my family, I know that I'm in love with him. I don't think I'll find anyone else, however I don't know how many times I can take getting dropped because his karate is more important. What would you do in this situation? And am I overreacting?

Monday and Wednesday.. Oh and it's very hard. The point isn't the karate though! On a normal day I'm fine with him going to karate! it's because it's my BIRTHDAY. You are actually all missing the point. I understand he can't go "anytime" and that it's his lifestyle and he's done it before he met me, blah blah blah. I don't want to spend every waking moment with him! That's not what I am saying! Ok, I recently got a job making weekends harder to do, he is also looking for a job, which will make things even harder than they already are. After college is sometimes the only time we can see each other, but we can't because of both of our lives. My birthday was supposed to be a day where we could forget all the work/college hassles and have a meal out. We planned it, and all of a sudden he drops me for karate because his mum won't take him anywhere other than to karate. It's not his fault, he tried to get out of it, but he can't. But I can't help feeling if only he didn't do it. NOT SAYING I WANT HIM TO QUIT! People in this thread call me selfish for trying to make him quit. That's not what I'm doing. People in this also say that in only with him cause I can't find anyone else, no, I'm with him because I love him, and I won't find anyone else because I won't need too. Ok, I understand, I've over reacted. Just think though, you plan something with someone you love for over a month, and they drop you, do you not think it will make your heart sink even a little bit, because it did with me. it's not a case of we're not right for each other or in a healthy balanced relationship, it's because it's a day we planned for a long while, and he's just not going to be there for it anymore. So thanks to everyone calling me selfish, etc. however, it's because it was one day I expected him to be there, and he won't be..

You sound like you want him to quit karate. Not going to happen, and why should he give it up?

Again, you want him to quit. You acknowledge it's not his fault, but you still want him to quit.

I don't want him to quit. It's something he enjoys, im not going to get in the way of that.

No. I don't. If I wanted him to quit, I would plain and simply tell him I want him to quit, and we would probably be finished. but I don't care about the karate, I care about the plans he makes to then drop on me. It's just because of the karate that he drops the plans with me. Saying that "if only he didn't do it" isnt me saying I want him to quit, it's saying that I can't help thinking if he didnt do it, would things be different?

So basically, I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now, and he does karate. He's done it since he started high school, and now were both at college 5 years later. However, I recently got a job making it a lot harder to see him, and when I can see him it's usually 'karate' nights. I've been ok with it for the past year, because I completely accept that it's a hobby of his and he wants to do well in it, but he has no interest in quitting any time soon. Now, I've been fine with the karate, up until he tells me that he's going to be missing my birthday and a party of my families because of it. I don't really know whether I am over reacting, or acting how anyone would to this situation. Anyway, I'm just stuck. It's been a long term relationship, and it's not an "on-and-off" one, but we don't agree on much, and this karate situation is one of them. Now, because of how long I've been with him, and how close he's gotten to my family, I know that I'm in love with him. I don't think I'll find anyone else, however I don't know how many times I can take getting dropped because his karate is more important. What would you do in this situation? And am I overreacting?


Posted from TSR Mobile