Come on now "lads". Who disagrees with me...?

Bit of a rant due to some douche i'm battling out with on another thread whos confidence relies on going to the gym and pulling. What a man he is - yet this seems to be most men around the 20's area nowadays.

If a fit girl came up to you in a bar because she was keen and asked/expected you to buy the drinks even though you hadn't even noticed her previously would you ?

I personally wouldn't, she came over so she can by me the drink - and just me saying that now probably has the majority of you saying "what ? - what on earth is wrong with you are you bent!" This is the reaction i've gotten, just like you probably have all the way through your teenage years from your other male friends and that's why you have that reaction.

Doesn't it annoy you that when you go out, a lot of girls don't make half as much of an effort with you even though they may be just as interested in "pulling". On top of this we have this whole feministic culture which every girl (quite rightly) agrees with. A world where men and women are exactly the same - yet this is the one thing that seems to be set in stone and isn't allowed to work both ways. This is just how society works and you have to deal with it and put up with all the "lad" banter crap that's around now a days. Like c'mon.

Every single movie, magazine, book, your older brother, your dad...whatever has brought men up to believe that they are expected to make the effort and women are to expect the effort.

With a society in the present day, where men and women are as equal as they ever have been, most males think their sole purpose to achieve masculinity is to bang as many females as possible to feel confident.

Tis all about numbers right ? The more women you've "smashed" the greater an alpha male you'll be in the eyes of your male friends. Ooooh aren't you such an uber male.

Don't you think it's time a lot of males pulled their heads out of their arses, stop going to the gym if its only purpose is to get hench and pull. Start believing that they're nice and good looking guys. That you know women should want to be with you because you yourself know your a good-looking and nice guy and so therefore 50% of the time they should make the effort with you ?

Even though, i'm practically sticking up for every guy here with this rant and telling you I don't understand how it's fair that men have to make and unfair proportion of the effort all of the time when it comes to women - I'm still expecting a complete bombardment of neg's from anyone who replies. I'm expecting comments like "man-up" or that i'm having a paddy because "I'm not able to pull," that "i've never had a girlfriend" etc etc. All of which are childish responses and untrue.

If one of your male friends has pulled the most (30 girls) for example, hes the most insecure about his masulinity than the guy who's pulled 3 even though every other guy thinks he's a "lad" or whatever. Does noone else see this or is it only me ?

Why not aquire some self-worth and start believing people should make the effort with you, if you fit the societal stereotype of a modern day lad ?

EDIT: For the people skim reading and feel I slated their precious gym - I haven't said there is anything wrong with going to the gym if its to be healthy. I said it's silly if it's with the intention of getting hench with the only intention being to pull.

(edited 10 years ago)

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Reply 1

alexmagpie

How about everyone buys their own drinks?

Reply 2

Krack

Original post by Voltozonic

If a fit girl came up to you in a bar because she was keen and asked/expected you to buy the drinks even though you hadn't even noticed her previously would you ?

No, I don't buy drinks for random women although in saying that I have bought a couple of drinks for the most inventive women purely because they actually made it funny when they came up compared to the majority that walk up to you and just ask out of nowhere. A few of the inventive women are now good friends so it can work out in that respects and it is hit and miss as to whether you pull but you can turn it into friendship easily as you never know in the future, their friends :wink:

Reply 3

Steevee

I know a guy that pulls a lot, he's got nothing to prove, he's just good at it, has low standards and enjoys the sex. I know a guy that tries really hard to be the Alpha and you can see through him sometimes.

Let them have their validation if they want it, you have yours. You only come across as bitter and resentful when you attack what they do.

Reply 4

superduper9

1. One drink doesn't really cost very much. No real fuss to be honest.

2. I go to the gym to stay fit and healthy. I mainly do cardio. I know quite a few other guys who do the same.

3. If you like a girl, make an effort. If you don't, then no one forces you to.

4. People will always criticise and compare. If you don't like it, don't listen to it. Do what you want to do.

Keep it simple.

Reply 5

Michaelj

I don't buy drinks for random women and everyone agrees with me usually. It's obvious they're trying to use you for something.

Reply 6

Rooster523

With you on this one OP, who on earth buys drinks for a girl they've never met just because they asked you?

Reply 7

Hal.E.Lujah

Buying a drink for a girl is not being any sort of 'player' or 'alpha male'. Women aren't idiots, they're actually the ones playing your friend you mentioned. They'll stroll off a minute later and have a laugh with their friends about how flattered they are and how exciting it was, and poor mr buys a drink will be standing there being silently judged by the bar workers.

Anyone who genuinely likes to think they're good with girls needs to just go and see if they can get a girl to buy a drink for them. Nice simple test that you can do tonight, anywhere in the world. :smile:

Reply 8

victoriajackson

Not a lad but I agree with you, would never dream of going up to a guy and expecting him to buy me a drink! Can't believe some girls do :confused:

Reply 9

consumed by stuff

The only thing I agree with is don't put that pussy on a pedestal. Any girl that will ask you to buy them a drink is a tramp, if you want a shag thought, nothing easier than a tramp.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 10

Michaelj

Btw guys, just because a girl asks for a drink doesn't mean that the girl will shag you if you buy her a drink. There's a bigger chance she'll take the drink, walk off and ask another guy for a free drink.

Reply 11

455409

Does buying a woman a drink even work? I'd have to be pretty retarded to automatically want to bang someone just because they paid for a drink for me.

Reply 12

Mankytoes

I'm the first to neg that opening post, just because he's saying "society is so bad, I'm better than all these people", when actually saying what most people say. Most guys aren't just trying to get laid and most girls aren't just scamming drinks. Stop judging society by its worst elements so you can feel superior. Just go out and enjoy yourself, stop worrying so much about what everyone else is doing.

Reply 13

Dragonfly07

I agree with you OP about guys demeaning themselves in order to get laid to the point of being pathetic. I don't agree with the equality bit though... no one forces men to do what they do.

Reply 14

scrotgrot

I agree with every point you've made but it's futile to try to force society to change.

You need to stop going to clubs. You are putting yourself in the temple of those who think like this so really you can't blame girls for thinking you are just another douchenozzle with no self-respect.

Reply 15

Llamageddon

If an attractive female asked me to buy her a drink I would assume that she was interested in the drink rather than me.

Reply 16

Cll_ws

I wouldn't buy a drink for a girl that came over to me, who's to say she doesn't just want the free drink? In fact, chances are that is all she wants. If she was actually interested in you then there's no way she'd come straight out with that.

Original post by Hal.E.Lujah

Anyone who genuinely likes to think they're good with girls needs to just go and see if they can get a girl to buy a drink for them. Nice simple test that you can do tonight, anywhere in the world. :smile:

When I was in America a few weeks ago I was sat at a bar on my own (I was travelling alone) and the barman came over with a drink "compliments of the lady" and nodded towards a girl sitting at the other end of the bar. I didn't know how to react at first, i've only ever seen that happen in a movie :tongue:

But I ended up talking to her for a while and got her number. I bought her drink in return as well. Unfortunately I was leaving that city a couple of days later so I didn't speak to her again after that.

Reply 17

justanotherposter

I agree that people who use the number of girls they've slept with as a status symbol are morons but I don't understand why you're moaning about people who go to the gym, outside of exceptionally muscular people I'd say most people go to the gym to keep fit, be able to perform daily tasks more easily, possibly to help with their job. I respect people who go to the gym, it takes effort and commitment to do it and if people are willing to invest the time and effort to do it I don't see why it should be criticised. And before you accuse me of being one of these stereotypes you've described in your OP, I weigh 9 stone and until I started using dumbbells a couple of months ago my arm would shake if a held a pot of pasta.

Also buying a woman a drink without any prior contact wouldn't work unless you were Brad Pitt.

Reply 18

Spontogical

Original post by Voltozonic

I agree with you to a great extent. Whilst I prefer making an effort to approach/attract women, I do get annoyed by those who 'expect' it like they're entitled to having great guys waltzing over to them and starting the magic show.

If a girl walked up to me and asked me to buy her a drink - I'd tell her to buy me one, (if the tone of her imploring ( :rofl2:

) was flirty/suggestive. ), otherwise I'd tell her to buy one herself. Not to do with any feminism mantra, but rather because I don't see any obligation or point in doing so. She's a stranger afterall :/

I've personally never walked up to a girl and bought her a drink, and I never will tbh :s-smilie:

As for 'pulling' don't let it get to you. I don't exercise or attend the gym to get girls but to instil life skills that will help me in more ways than one in the future. All the images from the media that we are exposed to never effects me, sometimes it's great to have a mind of your own. I only wished more people tried to explore life from a similar perspective.

:smile:

Reply 19

AverageExcellence

People that think going to the gym and getting 'ripped' is the solution to getting an attractive girl are misguided.. Even if they go on the false assumption that all girls find massive men attractive (many think it shows signs of insecurity) then it would only be enough to attract the eye. Do are your muscles going to conduct a charming conversation or intrigue the woman enough to actually go on a date with you? (ironically it seems that a lot of these people unprovoked talk about the gym, it comes across as egotistical and desperate for attention).

Lads like that only attract equally fake make-up slathered trashy girls who are equally as uninteresting.. If you want a genuinely nice girl then its best to have the element of natural attraction there and actually be attracted to their personality.

Maybe these people have been watching too many pornos where they think you've got to go to the gym 6 hours a day 7 days a week to meet a woman to have coitus with :P - even so why does it always have to be about sex? Damn you 21st century thats why.