Come on now "lads". Who disagrees with me...?
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Original post by Voltozonic
Bit of a rant due to some douche i'm battling out with on another thread whos confidence relies on going to the gym and pulling. What a man he is - yet this seems to be most men around the 20's area nowadays.
If a fit girl came up to you in a bar because she was keen and asked/expected you to buy the drinks even though you hadn't even noticed her previously would you ?
I personally wouldn't, she came over so she can by me the drink - and just me saying that now probably has the majority of you saying "what ? - what on earth is wrong with you are you bent!" This is the reaction i've gotten, just like you probably have all the way through your teenage years from your other male friends and that's why you have that reaction.
Doesn't it annoy you that when you go out, a lot of girls don't make half as much of an effort with you even though they may be just as interested in "pulling". On top of this we have this whole feministic culture which every girl (quite rightly) agrees with. A world where men and women are exactly the same - yet this is the one thing that seems to be set in stone and isn't allowed to work both ways. This is just how society works and you have to deal with it and put up with all the "lad" banter crap that's around now a days. Like c'mon.
Every single movie, magazine, book, your older brother, your dad...whatever has brought men up to believe that they are expected to make the effort and women are to expect the effort.
With a society in the present day, where men and women are as equal as they ever have been, most males think their sole purpose to achieve masculinity is to bang as many females as possible to feel confident.
Tis all about numbers right ? The more women you've "smashed" the greater an alpha male you'll be in the eyes of your male friends. Ooooh aren't you such an uber male.
Don't you think it's time a lot of males pulled their heads out of their arses, stop going to the gym if its only purpose is to get hench and pull. Start believing that they're nice and good looking guys. That you know women should want to be with you because you yourself know your a good-looking and nice guy and so therefore 50% of the time they should make the effort with you ?
Even though, i'm practically sticking up for every guy here with this rant and telling you I don't understand how it's fair that men have to make and unfair proportion of the effort all of the time when it comes to women - I'm still expecting a complete bombardment of neg's from anyone who replies. I'm expecting comments like "man-up" or that i'm having a paddy because "I'm not able to pull," that "i've never had a girlfriend" etc etc. All of which are childish responses and untrue.
If one of your male friends has pulled the most (30 girls) for example, hes the most insecure about his masulinity than the guy who's pulled 3 even though every other guy thinks he's a "lad" or whatever. Does noone else see this or is it only me ?
Why not aquire some self-worth and start believing people should make the effort with you, if you fit the societal stereotype of a modern day lad ?
EDIT: For the people skim reading - I haven't said there is anything wrong with going to the gym if its to be healthy. I said it's silly if it's with the intention of getting hench specifically to pull.
If a fit girl came up to you in a bar because she was keen and asked/expected you to buy the drinks even though you hadn't even noticed her previously would you ?
I personally wouldn't, she came over so she can by me the drink - and just me saying that now probably has the majority of you saying "what ? - what on earth is wrong with you are you bent!" This is the reaction i've gotten, just like you probably have all the way through your teenage years from your other male friends and that's why you have that reaction.
Doesn't it annoy you that when you go out, a lot of girls don't make half as much of an effort with you even though they may be just as interested in "pulling". On top of this we have this whole feministic culture which every girl (quite rightly) agrees with. A world where men and women are exactly the same - yet this is the one thing that seems to be set in stone and isn't allowed to work both ways. This is just how society works and you have to deal with it and put up with all the "lad" banter crap that's around now a days. Like c'mon.
Every single movie, magazine, book, your older brother, your dad...whatever has brought men up to believe that they are expected to make the effort and women are to expect the effort.
With a society in the present day, where men and women are as equal as they ever have been, most males think their sole purpose to achieve masculinity is to bang as many females as possible to feel confident.
Tis all about numbers right ? The more women you've "smashed" the greater an alpha male you'll be in the eyes of your male friends. Ooooh aren't you such an uber male.
Don't you think it's time a lot of males pulled their heads out of their arses, stop going to the gym if its only purpose is to get hench and pull. Start believing that they're nice and good looking guys. That you know women should want to be with you because you yourself know your a good-looking and nice guy and so therefore 50% of the time they should make the effort with you ?
Even though, i'm practically sticking up for every guy here with this rant and telling you I don't understand how it's fair that men have to make and unfair proportion of the effort all of the time when it comes to women - I'm still expecting a complete bombardment of neg's from anyone who replies. I'm expecting comments like "man-up" or that i'm having a paddy because "I'm not able to pull," that "i've never had a girlfriend" etc etc. All of which are childish responses and untrue.
If one of your male friends has pulled the most (30 girls) for example, hes the most insecure about his masulinity than the guy who's pulled 3 even though every other guy thinks he's a "lad" or whatever. Does noone else see this or is it only me ?
Why not aquire some self-worth and start believing people should make the effort with you, if you fit the societal stereotype of a modern day lad ?
EDIT: For the people skim reading - I haven't said there is anything wrong with going to the gym if its to be healthy. I said it's silly if it's with the intention of getting hench specifically to pull.
i dont wanna read all of that, so can you please tell me what yo problem is
Original post by Voltozonic
How am I saying that ?
You've basically negged me because its unusual to see a guy standing up to this particular issue and so you've told yourself I must be trying to act superior. All you've done by saying that is admitted (without your knowledge) that this is some ploy for me to get girls to be like "Oh mah gor this guys aweeesome" when really you're just bit narrow-minded and missed the entire point of the thread - something everyone else has seemed to be able to grasp.
I didn't say most girls are scamming drinks. I gave one example that happened to me. Try and pick up on the principles of my post. It's not about merely buying drinks, it's about societal stereotypes when it comes to a lot of womens views towards men. I'm then saying that it's the males who have led women to believe these stereotypes and if it gets to a point where I'm roped into these stereotypes because of half-witted males who base everything on getting laid because of how they were indoctrinated about how men should act.. Then I say wake up and i'm going to rant about it.
You've basically negged me because its unusual to see a guy standing up to this particular issue and so you've told yourself I must be trying to act superior. All you've done by saying that is admitted (without your knowledge) that this is some ploy for me to get girls to be like "Oh mah gor this guys aweeesome" when really you're just bit narrow-minded and missed the entire point of the thread - something everyone else has seemed to be able to grasp.
I didn't say most girls are scamming drinks. I gave one example that happened to me. Try and pick up on the principles of my post. It's not about merely buying drinks, it's about societal stereotypes when it comes to a lot of womens views towards men. I'm then saying that it's the males who have led women to believe these stereotypes and if it gets to a point where I'm roped into these stereotypes because of half-witted males who base everything on getting laid because of how they were indoctrinated about how men should act.. Then I say wake up and i'm going to rant about it.
It isn't unusual at all, read this forum, people make the same point all the time. The fact you are convinced you are unusual only backs up my superiority point!
It's about getting girls? You are using an alias on an internet forum, do you see the flaw in that theory?
So basically you're whinging about guys who place a high priority on getting laid, and how our society promotes such behaviour. Wow, you've come up with pretty much the most common complaint on this forum, or in life in general.
One of my mates made me buy a drink for a girl.
Honestly everytime, my mates always plan on going out just because they say its going to be "Live" and its has pure girls. I just go there to have a good time. I would not buy drink for a girl unless I spoken to her for awhile and even then I expect the same treatment later.
Honestly everytime, my mates always plan on going out just because they say its going to be "Live" and its has pure girls. I just go there to have a good time. I would not buy drink for a girl unless I spoken to her for awhile and even then I expect the same treatment later.
Alpha males don't buy women drinks. Women buy them drinks.
Seriously, who the **** would say yes if a random girl asked you for a drink, just because they're a girl? Grow some self esteem you bunch of girls. I've only ever bought a girl a drink after she's bought me one as we've just started doing rounds while we chat.
I actually understand your gym point and I train 4xweek. A load of the guys in there have imbalanced physiques with chicken legs. As soon as they take a T-Shirt off you can see they have no traps, no back, no legs, no delts. Basically just chest and arms and it looks hilarious.
The irony behind the guy thinking he's cool, a lad, more likely to "smash" because he's bought her a drink is just too much. The actuality is he's a sucker who's just forked out money just to chat to a pretty girl because he thinks he can't chat to her normally. Joker.
Seriously, who the **** would say yes if a random girl asked you for a drink, just because they're a girl? Grow some self esteem you bunch of girls. I've only ever bought a girl a drink after she's bought me one as we've just started doing rounds while we chat.
I actually understand your gym point and I train 4xweek. A load of the guys in there have imbalanced physiques with chicken legs. As soon as they take a T-Shirt off you can see they have no traps, no back, no legs, no delts. Basically just chest and arms and it looks hilarious.
The irony behind the guy thinking he's cool, a lad, more likely to "smash" because he's bought her a drink is just too much. The actuality is he's a sucker who's just forked out money just to chat to a pretty girl because he thinks he can't chat to her normally. Joker.
Original post by Voltozonic
2. Good for you, but how is that relevant ? I said with the intention of getting hench and pulling is where it's a problem.
.
2. Good for you, but how is that relevant ? I said with the intention of getting hench and pulling is where it's a problem.
.
Why does the reason someone chooses to workout bother you?
I train for sport but there is nothing wrong in working out purely for improvements in aesthetics. Even if the driving force behind it is to attract females, how is that any different from dressing up smartly, getting a tidy hair cut etc?
Only differences i can see is that it would also improve his health, ability to do physical tasks and teach him discipline etc.
and to your original point i have never and probably will never by a women i meet out and about a drink. Women i'm dating, friends etc yer sure but if i've just met them, no chance and i've never really come across any issue with not doing this.
Original post by dave_123
Why does the reason someone chooses to workout bother you?
I train for sport but there is nothing wrong in working out purely for improvements in aesthetics. Even if the driving force behind it is to attract females, how is that any different from dressing up smartly, getting a tidy hair cut etc?
Only differences i can see is that it would also improve his health, ability to do physical tasks and teach him discipline etc.
and to your original point i have never and probably will never by a women i meet out and about a drink. Women i'm dating, friends etc yer sure but if i've just met them, no chance and i've never really come across any issue with not doing this.
I train for sport but there is nothing wrong in working out purely for improvements in aesthetics. Even if the driving force behind it is to attract females, how is that any different from dressing up smartly, getting a tidy hair cut etc?
Only differences i can see is that it would also improve his health, ability to do physical tasks and teach him discipline etc.
and to your original point i have never and probably will never by a women i meet out and about a drink. Women i'm dating, friends etc yer sure but if i've just met them, no chance and i've never really come across any issue with not doing this.
External motivation is much worse for you than internal motivation. Despite the fact you think lifting for girls is a good as any reason and has it's own positives it has negatives to your self esteem when you put so much on an external motivator. It'll just end up a dangerous house of cards.
Original post by Voltozonic
It's completely different.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to get healthy or having a healthy physique. There would be nothing wrong with wanting to be huge if you were doing it purely for yourself and no one else.
But If you're working out specifically to impress females, then all i'm saying is you've been taught by your fellow man whilst growing up that being built attracts women and that is not entirely true.
There are women who like muscly guys, there are also women are like podgy guys, scrawny guys and guys with dreadlocks etc. But you don't choose to hit the slim fast, get dreads or eat biscuits, instead you choose to go to the gym and put on mass because subconsciously you're insecure that without it your chances of attracting girls are slim due simply as a result of what you were taught by your friends growing up.
It's the same principle with those girls who wear makeup even when they look better without it - but of course the mags and their friends let them believe that without it they're ugly.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to get healthy or having a healthy physique. There would be nothing wrong with wanting to be huge if you were doing it purely for yourself and no one else.
But If you're working out specifically to impress females, then all i'm saying is you've been taught by your fellow man whilst growing up that being built attracts women and that is not entirely true.
There are women who like muscly guys, there are also women are like podgy guys, scrawny guys and guys with dreadlocks etc. But you don't choose to hit the slim fast, get dreads or eat biscuits, instead you choose to go to the gym and put on mass because subconsciously you're insecure that without it your chances of attracting girls are slim due simply as a result of what you were taught by your friends growing up.
It's the same principle with those girls who wear makeup even when they look better without it - but of course the mags and their friends let them believe that without it they're ugly.
What about people who get dreadlocks or choose to be skinny hipsters? Because they think it looks good, Isn't that just the same?
My point is simply, the reason why other people workout should be of no concern to others. I train for combat sports but when i'm doing my strength work i don't sit there thinking, look at that weak minded person over there training to get women.
I say anything that gets people up and motivated to do something is good... I'd rather be the guy in the gym training to get women than the lazy guy sat on his sofa watching TV.
It might not be the best reason ever but again, why is that any of our business?
The crude, intoxicated, primal atmosphere created by club dynamics requires an equally crude and primal analysis:
in those settings, there are two categories of women: dogs and Queens. Don't treat the dogs like Queens, and don't, for heaven's sake, treat the Queens like dogs.
Queens don't expect men to buy drinks simply because they have a you-know-what. And Kings, by the way, don't do it when told.
in those settings, there are two categories of women: dogs and Queens. Don't treat the dogs like Queens, and don't, for heaven's sake, treat the Queens like dogs.
Queens don't expect men to buy drinks simply because they have a you-know-what. And Kings, by the way, don't do it when told.
Original post by Voltozonic
I've read these forums dozens of times and witnessed all the usual people moaning about how women aren't making an effort to be with them, or how unfair it is that they have to try so hard to impress - whatever - cry me a river.
I'm asking males why they don't make more of an effort to encourage females to make an effort with them in an attempt to achieve some sort of equal split. If a girl asks for a drink because shes keen - don't buy her one. Do you think i'm yelling at women for being unfair and not buying us drinks because that's not what I'm doing.
What do you mean by this. You believe i'm moaning that I can't get girls from behind my keyboard ?
To a degree yes. What is your issue if it's been discussed before ?
It fitted well with my questions so I've said it again.
I'm asking males why they don't make more of an effort to encourage females to make an effort with them in an attempt to achieve some sort of equal split. If a girl asks for a drink because shes keen - don't buy her one. Do you think i'm yelling at women for being unfair and not buying us drinks because that's not what I'm doing.
What do you mean by this. You believe i'm moaning that I can't get girls from behind my keyboard ?
To a degree yes. What is your issue if it's been discussed before ?
It fitted well with my questions so I've said it again.
I wouldn't ever buy a girl a drink if she asked for one. But I don't think that's anti laddy. I mean PUA teaches that, and that's very laddy.
No, I'm saying why would I think you were trying to get girls on a forum that clearly does not facilitate meeting girls?
The issue is that you phrased it like you are the only person to hold this very common opinion.
People always assume laddish behaviour is forced or indoctrinated. Doesn't its prevalence across cultures and generations suggest it is actually quite natural?
Original post by Yidette
The crude, intoxicated, primal atmosphere created by club dynamics requires an equally crude and primal analysis:
in those settings, there are two categories of women: dogs and Queens. Don't treat the dogs like Queens, and don't, for heaven's sake, treat the Queens like dogs.
Queens don't expect men to buy drinks simply because they have a you-know-what. And Kings, by the way, don't do it when told.
in those settings, there are two categories of women: dogs and Queens. Don't treat the dogs like Queens, and don't, for heaven's sake, treat the Queens like dogs.
Queens don't expect men to buy drinks simply because they have a you-know-what. And Kings, by the way, don't do it when told.
Errgh, how horrible. There's no such thing as dogs and 'Queens'. Just treat everyone like people, don't let anyone walk all over you and you'll be fine.
Funny thing to do when a girl asks you to buy her a drink is challenge them to a thumb war (you'll obviously win). Makes her obliged to buy one, done in a fun way and you get yourself a free drink.
Original post by Voltozonic
Buying a drink for a girl is fine as long as it's done because you're keen.
If a girl asks for a drink because shes keen - That's ridiculous.. she should buy the drink. Of course it's done because that female believes she can ask and get because chances are the guy will be okay buying a drink if there's a 0.0001% chance of getting laid. It's using them. Something i see on nights out which annoys the hell out of me.
Most guys don't care and would buy the drink if asked because they need to maintain their "numbers" which they are too stupid to realise is only an issue because of how society has brought them up.
Lol fair play.
If a girl asks for a drink because shes keen - That's ridiculous.. she should buy the drink. Of course it's done because that female believes she can ask and get because chances are the guy will be okay buying a drink if there's a 0.0001% chance of getting laid. It's using them. Something i see on nights out which annoys the hell out of me.
Most guys don't care and would buy the drink if asked because they need to maintain their "numbers" which they are too stupid to realise is only an issue because of how society has brought them up.
Lol fair play.
100% agree with this. Their just little boys who need to man up and get some respect.
I can't believe some girls have the check to ask a guy to buy them a drink, i could never do that.
Original post by ArtGoblin
Errgh, how horrible. There's no such thing as dogs and 'Queens'. Just treat everyone like people, don't let anyone walk all over you and you'll be fine.
I agree everyone should be treated like people but people are judged on their actions. I think what that person was talking about is the 'dogs' being the girls who use their looks to get what they want, even a drink, and have absolutely no class or self respect and sleep with anyone. The 'queens' being the ones that do have class, self respect and don't just expect a drink to be bought for them which i also agree with
Original post by ArtGoblin
Errgh, how horrible. There's no such thing as dogs and 'Queens'. Just treat everyone like people, don't let anyone walk all over you and you'll be fine.
It's a metaphor, and a fitting one. Take a person, put enough alcohol down him/her, thrust them into a club environment and see how quickly their behaving like 'people' deteriorates. You only have to be sober at 1am on a Friday morning in your city centre to see the truth in this.
OP's 'problem' was in the club context, so that's as far as my metaphor applies.
Original post by Voltozonic
Bit of a rant due to some douche i'm battling out with on another thread whos confidence relies on going to the gym and pulling. What a man he is - yet this seems to be most men around the 20's area nowadays.
If a fit girl came up to you in a bar because she was keen and asked/expected you to buy the drinks even though you hadn't even noticed her previously would you ?
If a fit girl came up to you in a bar because she was keen and asked/expected you to buy the drinks even though you hadn't even noticed her previously would you ?
I agree with you here, I wouldn't either... the reason is fairly simple:
http://www.pointsincase.com/columns/nathan/6-21-06.htm
I would assume she is a "Level 2: The Garden Variety Slut", leading me on to sponge drinks and whatever else she can get so she could have a cheap night out.
P.S To Mod's, I'm just quoting the websites words... they're not my own.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by alexmagpie
How about everyone buys their own drinks?
This this this.
I totally agree with the drinks buying thing. But I will say, there are some flaws in your thread.
That bit where you complained about girls not making half the effort even though they are just as interested in pulling...well how do you know that?! That's a massive assumption and if girls aren't acting bothered she should let them be, because chances are they actually aren't bothered. And also, you're so over exaggerating the lad culture. Some people just like to have sex, it doesn't mean they're insecure.
Original post by Voltozonic
If a fit girl came up to you in a bar because she was keen and asked/expected you to buy the drinks even though you hadn't even noticed her previously would you ?
If I was drunk, probably. Then I'd realise she just took my money and start shouting at all my friends for letting it happen. That's how it usually goes.
The things with lifters is yes, girls may find you attractive if you develop a physique like Zyzz. But as soon as they speak to you they'll see that you're boring. Who here has ever been on bb.com? It's full of guys asking you if you even lift, but the fact is the vasty majority of them are socially retarded, hence they think that getting hench will get them a girlfriend instead LOL.
Original post by AverageExcellence
Do are your muscles going to conduct a charming conversation or intrigue the woman enough to actually go on a date with you?
Can your personality bench 2 plates? Get the **** out with your liberal ****.
Original post by alexmagpie
How about everyone buys their own drinks?
In an ideal world, or if someone offered. But again, referring back to the OP, in society there is a certain expectation.
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