loving someone who doesnt love you or being loved by someone who you don't love?

I say this because me and my boyfriend was together for 11 months and we had a misunderstanding and we broke up (from then onwards we were on and off until he moved on and got a new girlfriend)
So I tried to do the same, me and my current boyfriend have been together for 5 months- but I only found out today that my ex and my boyfriend have been best friends ever since year 7..
the problem here is that; everytime someone talks to me about my ex, I get upset, I admit I miss him and no other relationship compares, we had so many memories but I think he's moved on for good (it's been about a year since we broke up- still talking everyday) and also he broke up with his girlfriend months ago.
I was having a heart to heart with my best friend and we were talking about it and she says even though I won't admit it; I really like him still...
however, I have a boyfriend, who is his best friend and I feel so guilty; but he has recently become annoying and we don't talk alot because he has started to irritate me and get jealous when I spend time with my other friends instead of him..

end of long story; would you rather love someone who doesn't love you back or be loved by someone you don't love back (the way to shorten my anecdote)
&any friendly advice?x

Reply 1

sony42

short answer, you shouldn't be with someone if you have feelings for someone else, especially if this person is their friend! If i were you i'd break up with this guy, if you want to, tell your ex how you feel, up to u. If you two get back together then there u are if not you need to get over him before you meet someone new, its not fair to you or the guy you're with :smile:

Reply 2

username47781

Original post by Anonymous

Put it this way you don't want to be in a relationship just for the sake of not being single.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by PINKFLEUR

You're on the rebound.

What is bad is that your current boyfriend is your ex's best friend! The best thing you could do is break up with him and then just stay single for a couple of weeks so that your soon-to-be-ex can get over you, imagine how he'd feel if a few days later, you're hooking up with your ex (HIS best friend) again?

I'm guessing you had quite a rough time after that 'not so sweet' break-up and you quickly reached for another guy to fill that void. Please do not carry on messing around with this guy because from the information that you've given, you are evidently in a vulnerable state of emotion and I think it's best that you gently let go of your current boyfriend and kept at a distance, from both guys X and Y for a while until things cool down and you find yourself. From there, you could carefully and patiently begin to re-build a stable friendship with the guy you like, but be sure that he likes you back. You do not want to get thrown back right into the place where you started.

I hope this helps, feel free to PM me about how you're handling the situation as you try to find out what's best for you (and for the other two)

Best wishes,

Allyson :smile:

Thanks to everyone who gave me truthful answers;; I dumped him due to being unhappy and it wouldn't be fair if I kept on leading him on.. ithink I want to remain single for a long while; me and my ex and a load of school mates are going to France in June so I'll take everything from there
Thanks. x

Reply 4

PINKFLEUR

Original post by Anonymous

You're welcome. :smile:

I hope that you explained to him gently why you thought the relationship was not going to work? (Or at least hinted) To add, that's a good idea and the perfect opportunity to get yourself back onto the right tracks.

All the best :smile:

Reply 5

boba

how could you go out with someone for 5 months then only just find out hes best friends with your ex who you went out with for 11 months? do you never talk to your boyfriends or be part of their lives? thats 16 months you have been in a relationship with one or the other of them and not realised they were friends? :confused:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by boba

I wouldn't talk to my boyfriend about my ex; that's what would start an argument - the distance between the three of us is quite far&when I was in the 11month relationship we did have a proper relationship; but we did talk to eachother via Skype 60% of the time due to distance etc. &if we did talk about (this is an example) what he did that day; he'd say I went to a football match with a few mates.. I did know a few of his friends but I wasn't in his business nor concerned, only happy that he was having fun(:

i don't know if I mentioned it or not; but we didn't go to the same school