I feel trapped, fed up and completely alone with my own family...

Hi, so I'm 16, in year 11, and have 16 exams starting in 3 weeks, despite all this stupid stuff happening at home. Basically, I don't want to sound like a moaning, whiney teenager, typically claiming, 'my parents hate me', but mine actually do...in fact the last time my dad said it was last night. They let my sister who's 12, and to an extent my usually easygoing 9y/o brother do what they like and get away with whatever they want. I do get annoyed with them at times, and shout, as one does when angry. However, I was talking to my mum yesterday, when my younger sister kept intervening and so I snapped, "shush and keep your double chin out of my business" (not very mature I know)...but she runs in from the other room and full on slaps me in the face, yet my parents still screamed at me :s-smilie:

My parents are very irresponsible; despite me always telling them I'm trying to study properly (dreams of studying medicine), they force me to look after my brother and sister every night for at least 2 hours while they 'go out', leaving us having tea at usually 10-10:30, which I hate. I would child mind, but they fight and scream downstairs and distract me so I have to sort them out, plus, it's the fact my parents take advantage of me and don't even ask me, they just force me to do it. Anyway, it's purely impossible to rationalize or even have a decent conversation with them, and we end up arguing EVERY night (so much for revision:/). My dad is often violent, and when he hit me about 3 months ago, all behind my ear and the back of my skull, my eyebrow, foot and arm was bruised, and there was a big black and red chunk on my knee; the scar still clear. I just feel so depressed with it all, and I'm forever grounded (they say I'm such a "nasty bi*ch" that they ground me whenever, without even telling me), just so they can go out together on the weekend, and I can babysit. I never get to see my friends or boyfriend outside of school because they're forever punishing me. They also always tell me to move out, and I've "run away" (sounds so cringey to write) 4 times, the first time when I was 9, so things have never been great. My older sister's 18, and on the other side of the country filming for television, and my parents are darlings to her, ringing her on the phone telling her how much they love her and how proud of her they are, etc., yet when my younger sister called me a "thick retard" yesterday, and my parents agreed, I tried to modestly point out I'd achieved six 20/20 marks on English, when my dad replies, "I don't give a sh*t at all, about that or you". My friends know about some of it, but I feel like I don't want to bore them. I feel completely on my own, and like a horrible loser, and don't know what to do :frown:

What would you do? So sorry it's so long btw, you deserve a medal if you read all this! :yes:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 1

jeery83

What a nightmare. Don't schools have counsellors nowadays? If life at home with your parents is so bad, perhaps they might know of a way to help you get out of that environment.
You shouldn't be subject to violence. If you are victim of an assault you can go to the police. :frown:

Whatever you do, I hope you can keep your goals in mind and try to stay focused and positive. If you can get out and go to university elsewhere in the country, then hopefully you'll have a better time of things.

TLDR: Speak to a professional if possible. Call the police if needed. Stay focused.

:smile:

Reply 2

Alexa8355

It seems to me that you should spend more time outside the house. To get as far as possible from that place. The case is that constant being in a comfort zone leads to depression, therefore, it is strongly recommended to leave it often.

Reply 3

HmMusic

A lot of things here ring true. I grew up in an abusive household - not from parents but from a sibling, who used to control me. The most important thing I can tell you is it will get better. I am 23 now, but when I was your age it was an inescapable hell. Moved out when I was 18, and everything has been so much easier since then. First thing I would do is seek counselling at school - it will be free, and (provided that your parents are not controlling your school hours) then nobody needs to know about it. I understand the feeling of not wanting to be a burden on your friends. I am exactly the same way. Counselling will help you to release your frustrations in a safe environment where you don't need to worry about annoying anyone with your problems. I know that people don't generally get annoyed with this thing anyway, but it doesn't stop the anxiety being there.

I hope I could help a bit. If you are still worried or need someone to talk to who has been through a similar ordeal then feel free to PM me :-)

Good luck

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 4

Rascacielos

Do you have any relatives that you actually get on with, who you could talk to? If not (and even if you do), I would seriously consider talking to someone - at school would perhaps be the best place. A guidance counsellor/nurse if you have one; if not, then a teacher you like and trust. They have a responsibility to help you, particularly because you're being physically abused.

And as someone else has said, if it gets that bad with your father, you can go to the police.

As for your exams, have you considered going to a library/friend's house/etc to work? It would help you get away from home too. You might be able to get special consideration for your exams as well.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 5

scrotgrot

- Go to live with your older sister in short order.
- Keep a diary of the abuse you receive from your parents. This will serve as evidence. Write dispassionately.
- Shop the c**ts to social services, especially if they're not well off.

What's your relationship with your grandparents or other family?

Reply 6

3mma_gal96

Original post by Rascacielos

You might be able to get special consideration for your exams as well.

I thought that was only used for things like if your parents die, or something similar?

Original post by scrotgrot

I can't live with my sister, because she's filming everyday and staying in a big house with the cast, paid for by the production company :/

Well, I've since contacted my grandfather and he said I can stay with him, so the plan is to go down on Sunday. I'm just really anxious about it all though :frown:

And thank-you everyone for all being so understanding :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 7

Rascacielos

Original post by 3mma_gal96

I thought that was only used for things like if your parents die, or something similar?

I'm not 100% sure but it's worth asking about anyway.

I'm glad you're going to stay with your grandfather. Do you think you'll be able to get him on side?

Reply 8

HmMusic

Original post by 3mma_gal96

I thought that was only used for things like if your parents die, or something similar?

I can't live with my sister, because she's filming everyday and staying in a big house with the cast, paid for by the production company :/

Well, I've since contacted my grandfather and he said I can stay with him, so the plan is to go down on Sunday. I'm just really anxious about it all though :frown:

And thank-you everyone for all being so understanding :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile

That is a positive step for you, congratulate yourself! It will be worth finding out about circumstances anyway, because it can help. I was able to get a mitigating circumstances extension on my uni work due to severe depression, so it may well be possible. Good to know you are taking a positive step forward! Remember it will get better! <3

Posted from TSR Mobile