Really need a girlfriend but it's SO HARD in my situation

Ok so my last relationship ended a few months ago and now I really want to find a new girlfriend. The only problem is, I'm studying medicine in Eastern Europe and I'm finding it very hard to meet girls. The main reason is because of my skin colour. Eastern Europeans are naturally very racist and it's holding me back because they're all thinking I'm some kind of gypsy. There's a lot of girls in the building I live in but how can I turn them into my girlfriend without coming across as weird. Also I don't speak the language very well and they don't speak english very well either, so the conversations we could have would be very limited.

I went out the other night and managed to get a girls number, but she doesn't speak a word of english. I could call her and ask her to come for a coffee or something but imagine how awkward the conversation would be because I don't speak the language that good. Plus when I got her number she was already with a guy but at the time I didn't give a s*** so I just pulled her away from him, told her a few things and then she gave it.

Overall, I just don't know what I need to do. It's a completely different ball game here.

Reply 1

carlaraptor

9

Just a question - why do you need a girlfriend?

Reply 2

xOHarriet

10

You JUST came out of a relationship. Stop looking for a rebound girl and focus on your studies. Someone will come along when the time is right.

Reply 3

kunoichi

20

When people say they need a partner, thats usually the last thing they actually need.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by carlaraptor

Just a question - why do you need a girlfriend?

Because it's human nature

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by xOHarriet

You JUST came out of a relationship. Stop looking for a rebound girl and focus on your studies. Someone will come along when the time is right.

Why does everyone assume having a girlfriend will distract me from my studies?

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by kunoichi

When people say they need a partner, thats usually the last thing they actually need.

Maybe it's the 2nd/3rd thing I need, but I still want one :smile:

Reply 7

getaway

I think you need sex not a girlfriend lol. Why not have a casual sex instead because you're going to have to leave this country at some point which may or may not just cause another breakup.
Also, start learning more of the language if you want to speak to these girls.

Reply 8

simon_g

16

Original post by Anonymous

Eastern Europeans are naturally very racist

yeah, generalisations like that aren't "racist" neither...
maybe it's time to learn local language (ya know- not everyone speaks English)?

Reply 9

username917703

17

Women can smell desperation a mile away (and it is a turn off). It's like they've got a sixth sense for it.

You will get nowhere if you think you "need" a girlfriend.

Moist like Vaseline

Original post by __Student__

Moist like Vaseline

LOL

Moist like a year old open pack of biscuits

#leaveit

Reply 12

Millie228

9

Original post by getaway

I think you need sex not a girlfriend lol. Why not have a casual sex instead because you're going to have to leave this country at some point which may or may not just cause another breakup.
Also, start learning more of the language if you want to speak to these girls.

I actually agree with this. Although casual sex do ruin the dating market to some extent and have negative consequences, that is not reason for you to string a girl along in a monogamous relationship.
People have this ridiculous idea that they are supposed to have a series of relationships before marriage. I get worried when I hear someone say they need a "new boyfriend/girlfriend". Serial monogamy do more harm than good and you can only emotionally attach yourself to someone and pull away so many times before you lose your ability to do so and become cynical (at least the girls will be). Whatever is not permanent is temporary.
Also, girls smell desperation. Focus on getting laid, because that's essentially what you need-

Reply 13

username917703

17

Original post by Millie228

I actually agree with this. Although casual sex do ruin the dating market to some extent and have negative consequences, that is not reason for you to string a girl along in a monogamous relationship.
People have this ridiculous idea that they are supposed to have a series of relationships before marriage. I get worried when I hear someone say they need a "new boyfriend/girlfriend". Serial monogamy do more harm than good and you can only emotionally attach yourself to someone and pull away so many times before you lose your ability to do so and become cynical (at least the girls will be). Whatever is not permanent is temporary.
Also, girls smell desperation. Focus on getting laid, because that's essentially what you need-

Good post.

Also can you elaborate on the consequences? PM if necessary with it being off topic.

Reply 14

carlaraptor

9

This is going to come across as pedantic - but I think maybe you would like a girlfriend, rather than *need* one? Which are actually very different things. And a person who needs a partner, rather than would like one, can also come across very differently to other people.

As another person in the thread suggested, you might want to try learning the language a little more. Concentrate on your experience there, maybe ask one of the girls if she'd mind helping you learn the language? Go with the flow... Try not to get too hung up on the girlfriend thing and you might find that it happens pretty naturally, rather than you 'turning' someone into your girlfriend.