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how to ask a partner to get a STD check

Ive been friends with this guy (now in a relationship) and he told me he got checked during his last relationship and he wouldnt be happy if he got with someone who asked him to get checked because he wouldnt see the point. However, he had sex with the same girl after getting checked.

We are now together and we have had a night of passion so to speak. Ive never had a sexual partner before, whereas he has!

Is it too late for me to ask him to get checked now?

If not, how do I go about it, considering hes already told me he doesnt want to?

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Reply 1
Avatar for Yawn11
Yawn11
20
Why don't YOU get checked since he's already busted his nuts inside you.

And if you come back clean, chances are he's clean.
I suggest the both of you get a check now, together? Perhaps try asking him why he is reluctant to do so, and go from there. The simple fact is, if you're not comfortable with him not having had a screen, you shouldn't sleep with him. You have the pussy, you have the power.
Reply 3
Avatar for Lemonzaz
Lemonzaz
5
Original post by Yawn11
Why don't YOU get checked since he's already busted his nuts inside you.

And if you come back clean, chances are he's clean.


The suggestion above is a good idea, OP, if you'd rather avoid asking him. Alternatively you could suggest that you both get tested together? Then its not singling him out.
Reply 4
Avatar for beckaroo7
beckaroo7
13
Why is he being so funny about it? Is he trying to hide something or is it just the principle? If you ask him, he shouldn't be funny about it. It is free, and should do it just to reassure you. Ask him why he's being funny about it? Or get one yourself, as a previous poster suggested, if he's clean, you will be too. But I find it odd that he's being so defensive about this. I'd be bothered if my boyfriend was being like this.
On the other hand, you may be overreacting slightly, the chances of him having an std are very low
tell him - if he wants to be in an adult relationship start acting like a ****ing adult.

He's had a previous partner before you - get him checked. And yourself for that matter - just so you can do it together
Reply 6
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by silverbolt
tell him - if he wants to be in an adult relationship start acting like a ****ing adult.

He's had a previous partner before you - get him checked. And yourself for that matter - just so you can do it together


why do i need to be checked if ive only been with him?
Reply 7
Avatar for Yawn11
Yawn11
20
Original post by Anonymous
why do i need to be checked if ive only been with him?

:lol:
Reply 8
Avatar for boba
boba
Original post by Anonymous
why do i need to be checked if ive only been with him?


because if you suggest both going it wont seem so accusatory and he probably wont get as defensive.
plus have you done other sexual things? you can catch stds from oral
Reply 9
Avatar for Mankytoes
Mankytoes
10
Say you need him to do it just for peace of mind- emphasise that you do not suspect he's infected.

And say how you'll feel able to feel sexually relaxed when you know you're clean.
Reply 10
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Mankytoes
Say you need him to do it just for peace of mind- emphasise that you do not suspect he's infected.

And say how you'll feel able to feel sexually relaxed when you know you're clean.


thanks ill do that :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
why do i need to be checked if ive only been with him?


Its free and a common reason is that its a sign of respect from both partners.

However you have had sex with him. If he has something (and many STDs are asymptomatic) he may have passed to you.

Its probably unlikely but you never know
Reply 12
Avatar for Trigger
Trigger
18
You are using protection, aren't you? It doesn't protect 100% but jumping into bed with someone you don't know has a clean bill of health and not using a condom is a very silly thing to do.
Reply 13
Avatar for Pigling
Pigling
8
The OP being clean wouldn't prove her partner was, particularly after a single encounter. And it is also not too late to exercise greater caution (by him getting checked and holding off until then). Rate of transmission (per encounter) is way below 100% for most/many STIs. Also, if OP had acquired anything, her results would be negative for at least a few weeks.

FUN FACTS
Reply 14
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Trigger
You are using protection, aren't you? It doesn't protect 100% but jumping into bed with someone you don't know has a clean bill of health and not using a condom is a very silly thing to do.


He said he got checked when he was with his ex girlfriend, but like I say thats assuming she was clean and not cheating on him after he got checked!
Reply 15
Avatar for Trigger
Trigger
18
Original post by Anonymous
He said he got checked when he was with his ex girlfriend, but like I say thats assuming she was clean and not cheating on him after he got checked!


Haven't answered my question...
Reply 16
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Trigger
Haven't answered my question...


I am on the pill
Reply 17
Avatar for Trigger
Trigger
18
Original post by Anonymous
I am on the pill


Right, do you have any idea how silly you're being?
Reply 18
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Trigger
Right, do you have any idea how silly you're being?


sort of :frown: we didnt have sex though! he went in a bit but not proper sex.

Just got caught up in the moment. Was not planned at all :frown:
Reply 19
Avatar for Trigger
Trigger
18
Original post by Anonymous
sort of :frown: we didnt have sex though! he went in a bit but not proper sex.

Just got caught up in the moment. Was not planned at all :frown:


Make him wear a condom and get thee to a clinic.

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