The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

I'm not in an LDR yet but I will be come September. I'm staying in Leeds and my boyfriend, who I've been with for a year and a half, is hoping to get the grades to get into UCLan. He'll be in Preston which isn't too far away but it's still further than I'd want him to be

I'm just wondering if anyone has any tips on how to prepare for him leaving? I'd love to spend every moment of the summer holidays with him before he goes but I'm a bit worried it will make it more painful when he does go. We're completely dedicated/serious about our relationship and each other and this really is true love. We know it will be difficult but we can get through it. He's the love of my life and my best friend ever and I'm going to miss him more than anything. It's sad how even just thinking about it can evoke such emotions.

But anyway, yeah, any tips? Thank you in advance

Ah this was me this time last year (We were both in London and he was headed to Manchester in September). Honestly, for me? The anxiety and uncertainty of what was going to happen was worse than actually being in an LDR. Take it one step at a time, try not to worry too much (easier said than done I know). Maybe talk through how you are going to communicate (skype, phone, the odd written letter is quite nice), if you're going to visit each other in term time etc. Otherwise just try and relax and enjoy your summer together (: No 'preparation' necessary.

I think that's where my problem lies too - I'm very good at worrying about things. We have talked about what we're going to do in terms of keeping in contact (Skype is a definite and the written letters is an incredibly sweet idea ) and he says he'll come home every holiday. I've also worked out prices for train tickets to see how much it would cost to visit him, which thankfully isn't too much, so I'm sure we'll get quite a few opportunities to see one another in term time

Thank you so much for your advice, I really do appreciate it. And I will try to just take everything one step at a time - I've still got about 5 months before he leaves, might as well enjoy that time instead of worrying constantly.

Also, if you don't mind me asking, how is your relationship now? I hope you and your boyfriend are still going strong

Yep we are still going strong! I'm up to see him next weekend and then the next time I see him after that, exams will be over and we'll have the whole summer. It's a great feeling that we'll have done a whole year LDR. Next year things are going to change all over again though (I'm one year below him so I'll be off to uni myself in October) so I'm a little worried about that but I hope it'll be okay. Good luck! If you trust each other and can find a balance of how often you communicate/see each other that works for both of you, it might not be as bad as you think x

so lovely to know there are successful LDR's as there are so many people who say it won't work out.

So many people will tell you that it won't work, but honestly if you think that your relationship is worth living through the distance, it is possible. I wouldn't recommend an LDR to just anybody in a million years - it's got to be an extra special relationship. Cheers to you if you've got that!

Feel free to PM me if there are rough patches, I've been through them!

Me and my boyfriend (Yes i'm gay) have been together for 2 years this July, he lives in Preston, Lancashire and i live in Hull so it's about 3hours on train. I see him every weekend, and i'm moving to Preston for Uni in September so yeah, whoever said Long distance doesn't work can get ****ed

So it's been 2 years long distance? That's awesome :3

I think long distance can work really well! You've just got to try that bit harder... Most people are just too scared/worried to try at first!

You do need to try and make it work at first, then it just...happens.

How often you you see you gf/bf? i wanted to get an idea from other people beacuse my bf lives about a 4 hour train journey away £40-£50 return and i see him around once a month am i being a bit stingy????

How often you you see you gf/bf? i wanted to get an idea from other people beacuse my bf lives about a 4 hour train journey away £40-£50 return and i see him around once a month am i being a bit stingy????

It can be between 2 weeks and 5 weeks. Atm it's going to be 4.5 weeks until I see him next - but when I do, it's because I'm leaving uni and moving in with him Ending our LDR! Woo!

My boyfriend and I see each other every 2 to 3 weeks which was horrendous at first but now it's normal and I actually look forward to my three weeks of just me, being able to focus on work and seeing my friends I think 1 month is fair enough if you don't have the funds to see each other more often, although 3 weeks is the amount of time I personally recommend as you can take it in turns visiting each other so you only have to pay to visit him once every 6 weeks!

Anon because I think my girlfriend is on TSR as well.

I'm in my first year at University and sometime in the first term I met a wonderful girl whom I could really relate to. We feel comfortable talking about the most intimate of secrets and overall I just feel very safe and happy with her and so does she.

This is my first ever relationship so naturally I'm a little anxious.

This summer, she asked me to spend a few weeks with her. Unfortunately, my conservative parents wont allow this nor do they know the extent of our relationship.

I am pursuing 'other' ways to be with her over the summer, but I'd just like to ask if other people have been in a similar situation and how they dealt with being away from their loved one for so long ?

How often you you see you gf/bf? i wanted to get an idea from other people beacuse my bf lives about a 4 hour train journey away £40-£50 return and i see him around once a month am i being a bit stingy????

How often you you see you gf/bf? i wanted to get an idea from other people beacuse my bf lives about a 4 hour train journey away £40-£50 return and i see him around once a month am i being a bit stingy????