This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Boyfriend never wants to have sex twice in one day. Dealbreaker?

Scroll to see replies

Well, I didn't say I was pressuring him. I said it had become an issue for me, and so I was trying to find out how other men viewed the situation in order to know how to approach it...

My view on the situation is that you're being unreasonable, and my advice on approaching it is not to pressure him.

Just in case you were unable to infer that from my first post.

Reply 21

Anonymous #1

Original post by OMGWTFBBQ

My view on the situation is that you're being unreasonable, and my advice on approaching it is not to pressure him.

Just in case you were unable to infer that from my first post.

It's incredible that asking for advice can be considered 'unreasonable' - unreasonable would be pressuring him. Yes, I got your inference thanks - it just sounded like you were assuming I was already pressuring him.

Still doesn't really solve the issue though, other than put up with things as they are I suppose.

Reply 22

arkhamz

Original post by Anonymous

no **** that's what I assume is the most obvious thing to do. You're in a bind at the moment, you have 3 options;

Pleasure yourself more often
Put up with it
Or leave him

Reply 23

Ronove

Original post by Anonymous

Are you actually getting enough out of it when you do have sex? Maybe if you make it more of a big thing when you do and/or bring in some toys to make sure you're properly satisfied, you won't feel the need to get it on again so soon.

Reply 24

carlaraptor

Original post by Anonymous

So what exactly have you said to him about the situation? Have you told him that it's in any way a dealbreaker/a big deal for you?

The 'average' amount a couple has sex is a few times a week. A lot of people think the optimum amount is once a day. Some people could do it as much as physically possible. Everyone's different, and it really depends on how important this is to you, particularly in relation to everything else in your relationship. Is your relationship fulfulling in every other area?

Reply 25

username839961

Original post by Anonymous

Before anyone jumps down my throat

But isn't that essentially what you want more of...?

Reply 26

member64211

You might be giving an impression that you expect him to 'perform' and that can result in a negative cycle, if a man even feels a hint of inadequacy it can make it a lot harder to 'perform.'

I would recommend encouraging him to pleasure you in other ways. For one thing I personally tend to find doing so puts me much more in the mood then trying to go from nought to sixty straight away.

Reply 27

HumanSupremacist

Why should he have to do it if he does not want to?

Intercourse is meant to be pleasurable - it is supposed to be for pleasure. If he is not up to it, then he is not up to it. If he does not want to go twice, then he does not want to go twice - respect such.

As great as intercourse is, once the 'O' is reached, disinterest is great until the male is interested and "in the mood" again. That may vary for different people. For some, even if they have a rapid refractory period (typical in younger males), they might still not want to go again because they psychologically do not want to.

Remember - we are human, not superhumans. Sure, sex is great - but depending on one's libido and mood, it isn't always the best thing in the world and after all, we only have finite supplies of endorphins and hormones and other neurotransmitters and whatnot.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 28

Little Wolf Taima

Original post by arkhamz

I wonder how the responses ITT would go if the genders were reversed.

Actually I get angry when women in a relationship don't appreciate their men have needs.

I'm in a long distance relationship... He has a hall pass but won't use it. I'm up for bringing another girl in if need be..

But guys 90% of the time there is an issue with unbalanced sex drives its a guy bitching about how he's been dating this girl for years and she won't let him have any or they are married and she all of a sudden stops putting out. And women will call you pigs but in that instance I think they are wrong.

But on this one, seeing as men down so much time complaining about chasing pussy I think the guy is nuts to turn it down. Really crushes a girls self esteem. If men are supposed to be horny all the time and he says no to it on a silver platter that girl is going to hate herself and be resentful. Usually his know it's often the girl's fault I she doesn't want to be useful in bed or has emotional hangups about exposing herself.

However a medical problem needs treating. I have chronic pelvic pain and endometriosis but still do everything in my power to make my partner feel good. Guys if there is something wrong, get it fixed and don't complain if she gets tired after you marry her or she looks elsewhere. I couldn't blame a guy for looking elsewhere if I just stopped trying.

Reply 29

CJKay

Are you serious? Some guys can't even do it twice a day.

Reply 30

carlaraptor

Original post by Little Wolf Taima

I don't even know what to say to this. There are a multitude of reasons someone might go off sex or not have sex loads for a certain amount of time - depression, anxiety over performance, illness.

Your relationship is your business but if my partner didn't or couldn't have sex with me, I'd compromise and/or support him. Not just drop him and jump on another guy.

For me, sex is important in my relationship but my boyfriend's feelings and wellbeing come first.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 31

Spontogical

I can't have sex, twice, and finish strongly, without soreness in a 24 hour period. Sorry.

I think you need to read up on your Biology of the male reproductive system :erm:

I don't know what you should do... maybe put pumpkin seeds in your boyfriends cereal? It might help :dontknow:

Reply 32

Little Wolf Taima

Original post by carlaraptor

You make it sound like I'm being an unreasonable bitch. I'm dealing with it all- severe depression, sexual abuse, nerve damage, scar tissue on my internal organs an so on but thats not stopping me from thinking about my partner's basic need and self esteem. I expect the same kid of effort in return and everyone should expect their partner to give them their best. Sex is not just about pleasure but about intimacy and has a profound effect on the psyche and self-image. I watched my mother become a shadow of her former self when her sex life deteriorated and she began hating herself.

You see any thread in an Internet forum about a man whose girlfriend won't put out or has stopped putting out and the acceptable response from men would be to kick her ass to the curb. I couldn't blame them as upsetting as it is to hear as a woman.

Reply 33

Pigling

I think it's an odd "dealbreaker", because you won't necessarily find any guy who'll want to have sex more than twice a day every day in the long term... I don't think he's the one being unusual tbh :s-smilie:

Reply 34

JB20

I'd say he's a lucky boy, he'll probably be the one wishing for sex in 10-20 years.

Reply 35

dgeorge

Original post by Anonymous

Before anyone jumps down my throat - I would like to hear your thoughts on this!

We have been together 1 1/2 years and naturally at the very beginning of our relationship, sex was much more frequent. But I would say my levels of desire haven't really levelled off, whereas his definitely have. Now he can never go twice in one night - sometimes we'll have a go the next morning and on a very rare occasion it's great, but more often than not, he'll just get soft.

He is a wonderful guy who treats me so well, and it can be great, but it doesn't feel often enough and leaves me feeling unfulfilled. I once asked him if he might have a low libido, and he just snapped. Am I right in thinking it is not normal for a guy to not want to go twice in one night at least sometimes?

I spoke to once before about this about a year ago - and lo and behold, he was able to go twice! But then it went back to normal...

We have been together 1 1/2 years and naturally at the very beginning of our relationship, sex was much more frequent.

This is actually the norm - the beginning of the relationship the sex drive will be high, followed by a general levelling off

Am I right in thinking it is not normal for a guy to not want to go twice in one night at least sometimes?

No you're not right in thinking that. It is, in fact, quite normal for a guy not to want to go twice a night. On rare occasions, sure, but most guys past their teens would not do so on a frequent basis.

Reply 36

SubAtomic

Get him to take ginseng, either once will be enough or you'll be getting it more than once, or both :ahee:

Maybe you want a guy like Easy-E

Ready to **** until my dick is raw. Yo! the mutha****in' devil's son-in-law

Otherwise some people just don't enjoy sex as much as others so maybe that is the problem.

And if he doesn't keep fit with regular exercise and eat good then maybe that is why he is lethargic in the sack. Or the laws are in force, diminishing.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 37

Ice Constricter

Original post by Spontogical

I can't have sex, twice, and finish strongly, without soreness in a 24 hour period. Sorry.

I think you need to read up on your Biology of the male reproductive system :erm:

I don't know what you should do... maybe put pumpkin seeds in your boyfriends cereal? It might help :dontknow:

For me, I start to feel soreness after the third time in one day, or if the second round occurs before my "12 hour recovery period".

So yes OP, I could go a second round (the soreness only becomes really painful after the third round) but if he's had a long day, or is under a lot of stress from work/school it's pretty understandable why he'd rather not go for a second round. Sex does take a lot out of guys.

And I'm sorry but I have to say it, I wonder how a thread about a guy still complaining about sex from his gf despite getting it everyday would go down like. Something tells it'd be filled with more emotional posts. Although this thread isn't doing that bad in that regard considering the genders involved here.