Boyfriend is a bit selfish in bed
Not to give too much detail, but I feel my boyfriend is selfish when it comes to sex and his own physical pleasure.
He's not THAT bad, its not like 2 minutes and he's done, rolls over and falls asleep. No, he's not like that. But i still wonder if there is anything i can do
We have a great relationship- very loving, can talk to each other about anything. Outside the bedroom he's very affectionate and cute etc. Says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He couldn't be a better boyfriend. I couldn't be without him and we are like best friends. I lost my virginity to him and i'm only his second sexual partner.
Anyway, to the point- He does care about how I feel, he's tried all kinds of things to make me feel good before. But lately he's just been focussing on himself, I feel. When he's finished he doesn't even try to continue making me feel good (trying not to give too much information here, sorry) he just goes really fast, finishes, then apologises but doesn't do anything about it. Sex is never slow and tender- which is what i kind of need, at least in the early stages, to enjoy it fully.
What should I say to him without offending or embarrassing him? Sex really isn't very good for me these days. It used to be great cos he used to think about how i felt, i don't feel he does that much any more
He's not THAT bad, its not like 2 minutes and he's done, rolls over and falls asleep. No, he's not like that. But i still wonder if there is anything i can do
We have a great relationship- very loving, can talk to each other about anything. Outside the bedroom he's very affectionate and cute etc. Says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He couldn't be a better boyfriend. I couldn't be without him and we are like best friends. I lost my virginity to him and i'm only his second sexual partner.
Anyway, to the point- He does care about how I feel, he's tried all kinds of things to make me feel good before. But lately he's just been focussing on himself, I feel. When he's finished he doesn't even try to continue making me feel good (trying not to give too much information here, sorry) he just goes really fast, finishes, then apologises but doesn't do anything about it. Sex is never slow and tender- which is what i kind of need, at least in the early stages, to enjoy it fully.
What should I say to him without offending or embarrassing him? Sex really isn't very good for me these days. It used to be great cos he used to think about how i felt, i don't feel he does that much any more
Is he currently stressed for any reason? That could be why he's not very focused on you at the moment.
But I would just tell him how you feel. Just explain that whilst you still enjoy sex, you're still quite delicate and would like him to be more gentle/tentative to your needs? Explain the things you like etc.
But I would just tell him how you feel. Just explain that whilst you still enjoy sex, you're still quite delicate and would like him to be more gentle/tentative to your needs? Explain the things you like etc.
Original post by eliza.anne
Is he currently stressed for any reason? That could be why he's not very focused on you at the moment.
But I would just tell him how you feel. Just explain that whilst you still enjoy sex, you're still quite delicate and would like him to be more gentle/tentative to your needs? Explain the things you like etc.
But I would just tell him how you feel. Just explain that whilst you still enjoy sex, you're still quite delicate and would like him to be more gentle/tentative to your needs? Explain the things you like etc.
Thanks
i don't think so, nope. And nothing has changed between us, no arguments or anything. Its been a gradual change, over the months we've been together he's gradually got less sensitive to my needs. Maybe its just natural, don't know. But, i'm not settling for it, haha. Yeah i'll talk to him about it thank youOriginal post by AB25
Thanks i don't think so, nope. And nothing has changed between us, no arguments or anything. Its been a gradual change, over the months we've been together he's gradually got less sensitive to my needs. Maybe its just natural, don't know. But, i'm not settling for it, haha. Yeah i'll talk to him about it thank you
i don't think so, nope. And nothing has changed between us, no arguments or anything. Its been a gradual change, over the months we've been together he's gradually got less sensitive to my needs. Maybe its just natural, don't know. But, i'm not settling for it, haha. Yeah i'll talk to him about it thank youI think it is natural, when you get to that stage of comfort its easy to get sidetracked
My partner got like that at one point too and I had to talk to him about it too. He realised he'd been a bit selfish and changed his bedroom antics 
Hopefully the talk goes well! 
Are you confident he isn't stressed/anxious/worried/depressed over anything? Just because in my experience that's the number one cause of bedroom selfishness from an otherwise generous person.
Original post by eliza.anne
I think it is natural, when you get to that stage of comfort its easy to get sidetracked My partner got like that at one point too and I had to talk to him about it too. He realised he'd been a bit selfish and changed his bedroom antics Hopefully the talk goes well!
My partner got like that at one point too and I had to talk to him about it too. He realised he'd been a bit selfish and changed his bedroom antics Hopefully the talk goes well! Aww haha, its good to know there's someone who's been in the same boat
Well thank you very much. p.s we are long distance, so this discussion will have to take place over the phone/by text :/ oh well, its not like i have a choice
Original post by MelanieDickson
Are you confident he isn't stressed/anxious/worried/depressed over anything? Just because in my experience that's the number one cause of bedroom selfishness from an otherwise generous person.
Hmm, nothing major as far as i'm aware. He works full time, but he's done that for the entire duration of our relationship so nothing has changed there. Our relationship is still strong as well, so no stresses there either. I think he'd tell me if he was really upset/worried about something
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Am I being stuck up?
- is it selfish of me
- My Boyfriends dog scares me and has bit me
- Flatmate wants to switch rooms
- Would you cheat on your SO?
- Should I tell my boyfriend that I (text) flirted with someone else?
- After she orgasms...
- I think I hate myself for this...
- Hey guys
- Boyfriend on "Lads holiday"
- A couple at the university of Essex
- I’m still in love with my ex and I have a bf
- can't sleep because of snoring
- Is my friend toxic?
- I game a lot and it makes my boyfriend upset
- henry price room sizes
- Would you be happy if your boyfriend did this?
- Struggling with balancing a-levels and relationships
- How to deal with flatmates that just don't clean
- squirting 3 times during sex - Normal?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
