How many sexual partners

To each their own. As far as I'm concerned people who don't respect me have earned no favours from me.

I get what you mean but for a one night you're using each other no? I don't actually have one night stands, I just don't judge those that do.

I wonder if people would be saying its a lot if this were a guy talking?

Yes you are both getting something out of it, but if it comes at the price of letting someone think they've just "conquered" you like some sort of obedient animal, I don't think that is a good deal at all. That is why people say "self respect" comes into it - you may be getting pleasure out of it, but why let some douchebag think of you as his little conquered slut at all? Is a bit of sex worth that? And besides, it's not like that's your only option when it comes to getting sex. If I had a one night stand with someone I would respect them and so would many others, but there's really no shortage of men who just see the women they sleep with as a wet hole with legs, and if I was a girl I wouldn't want to be seen as that by anyone.

I wonder if people would be saying its a lot if this were a guy talking?

I think there's a bit of illogical thinking here. "Self-respect" is what the title implies: having respect for yourself. It could not matter less what someone else thinks of you. All that matters is that you aren't ashamed of your actions. What the guy's opinion on the matter is is irrelevant. And in fact, acting on how you think it appears to him or society is caused by a lack of self respect, lack of confidence and desperation for other people's approval. Pretty much the opposite.

Something that happened at work today got me thinking. Basically there were 6 of us having lunch together (all female) and one was saying about a guy she had pulled last weekend. This made one of the others ask her how many people she had slept with and she answered 23. This caused shock among 3 of the group who seemed to think it was a massive amount with 1 saying she had only slept with 2 people and another saying she could count on 1 hand.

Me and another girl kept quite quiet after that but I didnt think it was all that many. I had a private word with the other girl that had been quiet later and turned out she hadnt said anything because she was 'just into double figures'.

My total is more than 23 and Ive never thought that was a particularly big number. Im questioning that after today so would appreciate some views from here.

Yeah I see what you mean, but I see self-respect as being linked to pride, and it would be my pride in myself that would stop me from sleeping with somebody who had no respect for me. I would respect myself enough to believe that I deserve better than that.

I read a survey once that said lifetime average is ~10. So. Um. Make of that what you will.

Mine is 38. I wonder if anyone will neg me for enjoying sex? :P
Although I haven't had sex in about a month now. Been off it because of exams.

(Quick FAQ: Yes, I am capable of being in loving relationships. No, I don't have any STDs. No, I've never been pregnant. No, I don't have trust/commitment/daddy issues. Yes, I do have self respect.)

I see what you're saying and don't see any problem with you living your life this way, but I don't think that means its applicable to other people. I can't see any reason why directing your pride towards sexual partners is any more 'self-respecting' than directing it towards, say, taste in television. I hate soaps because I think I deserve a better class of television but I would hardly call anyone who watches them 'lacking in self-respect.' The phrase is far more to do with how you see yourself and what your own priorities in being the person you want to be than other people's.

If you place high value on sex and high value on your physical form, then sleep around people out of desperation, that might be a sign of no self-respect. But if sex isn't very important to you and you place higher values on other areas of your life (say education, career, culture, travel etc) then why the hell shouldn't you sleep around? What difference does that make to your value in these areas? There's nothing wrong with preserving your body if that is important to yourself, but implying that its a necessary priority for all women is really just a shoutback to the days when women were considered nothing more than a vessel for sex and children.

Girl posts thread about quitting education
- Hardly anyone cares
- Couple of responses about "do what's right for you" "think about it"

Girl posts thread about having sex
-Hundreds of responses
- "Slag"
- "Worthless"
- "No Self-Respect"

Seriously, **** society. You should all be ashamed.

That's what I don't get. The way this attitude of "I'm not an object, I can sleep with whoever I like and it doesn't reflect anything about me!" seems to come from women who are happy with the idea of sleeping with random men in clubs, men who moreso than anyone else do see them as a sex object (not all of them by any means, but many of them). I mean wouldn't the point come through a bit better if they refused to sleep with men who had such objectified views of women, thereby not rewarding their misogyny with female attention? And yet all of the contempt seems to be reserved for the ones who say, "Hey, I don't think you should sleep with guys like that, they have no respect for you."