No fights in a relationship

It's been almost a year, I still haven't had a fight, or even anything more than a mild disagreement with my partner. Is this strange?

I didn't think so, and to be honest I can't imagine fighting with a partner in general, but society seems to say it is. And that fighting is something that's 'healthy' and 'happens to everyone.' What do you think? What are your relationships like?

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Gjaykay

That is strange. You guys should be fighting, like you said it is healthy. It means you actually properly communicate

Reply 2

theorangebox

Original post by Gjaykay

That is strange. You guys should be fighting, like you said it is healthy. It means you actually properly communicate

What kind of things should we be fighting about though? I can't think of anything that even could cause a fight and I don't think I could pick one myself without deliberately trying to be a bitch.

Reply 3

Mockery

My relationships generally consist of me 'not giving a sh*t' and 'not wanting to be with them' simply because I don't respond to their frustration in the manner that she expects, which is either meeting it with my own frustration or buckling at the knees and giving her everything that she wants.

Give me a call whenever you're single :lol:

Reply 4

little_wizard123

Jeez. Some people are never happy are they.

Reply 5

shorttstuff

I wouldn't exactly say fighting constantly is "healthy" but an argument once in a while might make your relationship stronger. It depends on the type of couple really.

Reply 6

theorangebox

Original post by little_wizard123

Jeez. Some people are never happy are they.

I am happy. Just curious.

Reply 7

THEMathlete

He's a keeper.
He doesn't want to fight bc he's scared of losing u over something silly perhaps?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 8

Rybee

Me and my gf were together for 5 1/2 years and never argued, just wasn't in our nature to.

I look around at some couples and wonder why they bother putting the effort in when they argue 75% of the time.

Reply 9

Steevee

Or one of you is a massive pushover?

Reply 10

Treeroy

Arguments are only healthy if you actually have a disagreement. If you're both happy, arguing isn't helpful.

Reply 11

TattyBoJangles

I've been with my boyfriend for three years and I could count the amount of arguments we've had on one hand. I can't even remember the last time we had one.
That's not to say we agree on everything; our disagreements just don't escalate into arguments.
We're both quite laid back as well, so if one of us finds ourself getting worked up over something, the other one is likely to laugh at some point. This makes the other one giggle, the argument never really starts, and we discuss the issue but without all the raging emotion that proper arguments bring.

I wouldn't complain about it if I were you - I know I for one quite like the quiet life :p:

As long as neither of you are holding things in / not discussing potential issues, it's fine. No point looking for an argument.

Reply 12

Lilmzbest

Maybe you should take is as a good thing, you're both obviously quite happy with each other :smile:

People just say that fighting is healthy because it shows communication but if you feel that you communicate properly then you probably shouldn't worry, all relationships aren't the same :tongue:

My cousin and her boyfriend have been together for 3 years and they've never had a fight...so it is possible :smile:

Reply 13

ange de la nuit

I think it just depends on the people. My family is a shouty family, and I used to be embarrassed about it, but then, when other people's parents were splitting up, and mine weren't, I realised that it just must work for us.

But, in relationships, I never have arguments. I don't think I'd know what to do. It just never happens.

Reply 14

theorangebox

Original post by Rybee

Yeah, this. I'd way rather be single than be in a relationship like that.

Original post by TattyBoJangles

As long as neither of you are holding things in / not discussing potential issues, it's fine. No point looking for an argument.

Yeah, I think you're right about the quiet life thing. I don't think I've raised my voice at anyone (other than my mum, perhaps) in the last fifteen years. It seems a very strange thing to do to those you care about in my opinion.

Reply 15

TenOfThem

People are different

We have been together 22 years and have had 1 real row

We sometimes disagree on what to watch on the telly or what we fancy for tea but compromise is not hard

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

Different couples have different styles. Me and my boyfriend don't really argue/fight, we talk things through. We've been together 4 years, so I can't take anybody seriously who says you need to argue or that not doing so signifies an "unhealthy" relationship.

I think some couples find shouting and arguing cathartic, the drama adds excitement, and as it is their "norm" it doesn't cause great distress. It doesn't affect them or their relationship in the way it might affect others.

My parents argued and fought a lot where I was growing up. It wasn't cathartic though, it was distressing and never got anyone anywhere. I wouldn't want to repeat that. Having acted as a sort of counselor for diffusing my parents' arguments over many years, I'm very competent at avoiding an escalation/argument and being a diplomat. I'm not a pushover but shouting and having this big argument drama, I just couldn't deal with that in a relationship. I will always go for remaining calm and talking and listening to one another. My boyfriend is the same, he prefers peace!

Reply 17

reapingunicorn32

Personally, my girlfriend and I have never had an argument but there has been the slight tension between us on the odd occasion but that doesn't last long at all. Mostly, it was me saying silly things which I realised straight away that it was wrong of me to say but I hope she's forgiven me on some of the things I've said now.

I think that's strange though. How often do you speak to or see each other? I'd be a bit suspicious. If you have no problems then fair enough but try talking to your other half and see if they have any issues they would like to address as no one likes to hold anything back. Just do that so then you both know that if there are any problems then it can easily be sorted out. . Hope I helped a tad :smile:

Reply 18

NickyJWatkinson

My boyfriend and I have been together nearly two years, never had an argument - again, I don't think it's because we 'don't communicate' or bottle up our feelings, we're just good at discussing any issues that arise calmly. That said, there aren't really any issues to discuss most of the time - we're still young (19), I'm on a gap year and he's doing a foundation degree, we still live near each other and see each other at least once a week, neither of us has trust issues and I can't really think of anything that we could argue about, if that makes sense? Like, neither of us is the kind of person to flirt with other people or not put the effort in to meet up, and it's not like there's much else to fight about at this age...

Reply 19

theorangebox

Original post by Anonymous

My parents argued and fought a lot where I was growing up. It wasn't cathartic though, it was distressing and never got anyone anywhere. I wouldn't want to repeat that. Having acted as a sort of counselor for diffusing my parents' arguments over many years, I'm very competent at avoiding an escalation/argument and being a diplomat. I'm not a pushover but shouting and having this big argument drama, I just couldn't deal with that in a relationship. I will always go for remaining calm and talking and listening to one another. My boyfriend is the same, he prefers peace!

This totally makes sense. My parents' relationship was much the same, and I played a similar role. I couldn't live with a relationship like that either.