The Student Room Group

What is this girl's problem?

At the beginning of the year she began being more friendly than ever before. She even invited me to have breakfast with her bestfriend and she would occasionally smile at me with dreamy eyes. She then suddenly started to avoid me for seemingly no reason. At first I thought it was due to the fact that she thought I was being distant, even though I wasn't. I started to make an effort with her by contacting her more frequently (but not too frequently). After I started doing this she slowly stopped avoiding me. One day I sent her a text that basically said that I wanted to know her more deeply (i.e. beyond an acquaintance level). I used this opportunity to ask her about her particular love for one of my favourite musicians (that very few people appreciate). She told me that the guy that "she's in love with" introduced her to him. I mean, that's clearly a lie. "the ____ that I'm in love with____", I mean I don't know anyone that writes like that. I wasn't sure if she said it to play hard to get or because she's not interested. The next day, when I sat next to her, she seemed timid, and basically ignored me in favour of the guys that sat at the same row as us in class.

I texted her again, but this time I tried to play dumb by accepting her obvious lie as truth. It was a very friendly text, but I should also mention that I also wrote "If you find this uncomfortable please say". Three months later, she began talking to me again and I acted as if nothing happened. In fact, she began to treat me in a very kind manner. A week later, she started to avoid me again (for seemingly no reason). Two weeks later she spoke to me again after bumping into each other. She seemed very comfortable talking to me, The very next day she started avoiding me again. Whenever I see her, even when I say hi and wave at her she looks away (but not in an angry manner at all). She will her very best to ignore me and not look at me, whenever she's surrounded by people in our course

Why is she doing this? I'm really confused!
Original post by Anonymous
At the beginning of the year she began being more friendly than ever before. She even invited me to have breakfast with her bestfriend and she would occasionally smile at me with dreamy eyes. She then suddenly started to avoid me for seemingly no reason. At first I thought it was due to the fact that she thought I was being distant, even though I wasn't. I started to make an effort with her by contacting her more frequently (but not too frequently). After I started doing this she slowly stopped avoiding me. One day I sent her a text that basically said that I wanted to know her more deeply (i.e. beyond an acquaintance level). I used this opportunity to ask her about her particular love for one of my favourite musicians (that very few people appreciate). She told me that the guy that "she's in love with" introduced her to him. I mean, that's clearly a lie. "the ____ that I'm in love with____", I mean I don't know anyone that writes like that. I wasn't sure if she said it to play hard to get or because she's not interested. The next day, when I sat next to her, she seemed timid, and basically ignored me in favour of the guys that sat at the same row as us in class.

I texted her again, but this time I tried to play dumb by accepting her obvious lie as truth. It was a very friendly text, but I should also mention that I also wrote "If you find this uncomfortable please say". Three months later, she began talking to me again and I acted as if nothing happened. In fact, she began to treat me in a very kind manner. A week later, she started to avoid me again (for seemingly no reason). Two weeks later she spoke to me again after bumping into each other. She seemed very comfortable talking to me, The very next day she started avoiding me again. Whenever I see her, even when I say hi and wave at her she looks away (but not in an angry manner at all). She will her very best to ignore me and not look at me, whenever she's surrounded by people in our course

Why is she doing this? I'm really confused!


Only way to find out is to ask her really? sounds like she is playing games.
Reply 2
Original post by Rock Fan
Only way to find out is to ask her really? sounds like she is playing games.


How can I ask her without things getting awkward?
Original post by Anonymous
How can I ask her without things getting awkward?


Not really an easy way of doing it, sometimes you gotta go straight to the point.
Sounds like a game-playing cow, to be frank. I wouldn't want to mess with that, can you imagine how annoying it would be in a relationship? Always trying to be in control and keeping you dangling? *******s to that, get a girl with some sense.
Reply 5
By the sounds of things you're below the age of 30.

I wouldn't let girls bother you too much..
It kind of sounds like she gets worried that she's given you the wrong impression about liking you more than a friend, and overcompensates to let you know she doesn't.
Reply 7
Original post by milienhaus
It kind of sounds like she gets worried that she's given you the wrong impression about liking you more than a friend, and overcompensates to let you know she doesn't.


Since talking to me again, I treated her as an acquaintance (and nothing more). We were never friends.
Original post by Anonymous
Since talking to me again, I treated her as an acquaintance (and nothing more). We were never friends.


Well fine, she is worried she gave the impression of treating you as more than an acquaintance and wanted to reinforce that you weren't.
Reply 9
Original post by milienhaus
Well fine, she is worried she gave the impression of treating you as more than an acquaintance and wanted to reinforce that you weren't.


Yeah okay, I see. I'm not sure why she still sees it as necessary.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah okay, I see. I'm not sure why she still sees it as necessary.


She feels bad about it? Possibly I am just projecting my experiences on to your description, but I know I get super embarrassed and awkward if I think I've accidentally made someone think I like them when I don't. I don't think I am as rude about it as this girl seems to be, but that would be my guess.
Reply 11
Original post by milienhaus
She feels bad about it? Possibly I am just projecting my experiences on to your description, but I know I get super embarrassed and awkward if I think I've accidentally made someone think I like them when I don't. I don't think I am as rude about it as this girl seems to be, but that would be my guess.


She is a weird one! She avoids going to the same supervisions as me (she only attends one - and that's the one I don't go to because the supervisor is so terrible).

Quick Reply

Latest